George Osborne considering freeze on benefits to save £4.4bn

Kilwinning_Bluenose

Freezing benefits isn't nearly enough.

drc

One of the things that needs to be done is to make absent fathers more accountable for their children. I read so many posts on forums from single mothers who have either been left with several children because the father couldn't be bothered or men who get women pregnant "because they don't want to wear a condom" and are then surprised when the woman becomes pregnant and she doesn't want to go through the trauma of abortion. She then has to go onto benefits as she is left holding the baby and the father disappears. This seems to happen regularly. The men in these instances seem to have no worries since they know the state will pick up the bill for their kids and a lot of the time the single mothers get the abuse and stigma. It really makes me angry. It just seems indicative of the lack of responsibility generally taken by society these days - it's always somebody else's fault. And another trick seems to be be that when absent fathers are chased by the CSA they jack in any job they have so they don't have to pay out. The system needs more emphasis on responsibility and getting absent fathers to pay for their offspring (or getting them to wear a condom in the first place if they don't want to have kids) :mad:.

misskool

drc wrote: »

One of the things that needs to be done is to make absent fathers more accountable for their children. I read so many posts on forums from single mothers who have either been left with several children because the father couldn't be bothered or men who get women pregnant "because they don't want to wear a condom" and are then surprised when the woman becomes pregnant and she doesn't want to go through the trauma of abortion. She then has to go onto benefits as she is left holding the baby and the father disappears. This seems to happen regularly. The men in these instances seem to have no worries since they know the state will pick up the bill for their kids and a lot of the time the single mothers get the abuse and stigma. It really makes me angry. It just seems indicative of the lack of responsibility generally taken by society these days - it's always somebody else's fault. And another trick seems to be be that when absent fathers are chased by the CSA they jack in any job they have so they don't have to pay out. The system needs more emphasis on responsibility and getting absent fathers to pay for their offspring (or getting them to wear a condom in the first place if they don't want to have kids) :mad:.

and what about women who keep having children (like that Shannon Matthews mother, 7 children from 5 fathers) so they can keep the benefits rolling? They know what they need to do to keep their benefits.

And what about mothers who deny rights to the fathers of their children during a seperation? There are 2 sides to every story, let's not just pick one that suits us.

tomterm8

The reality is that for a young woman, it is a viable career option to have kids and live off a combination of the state, and contributions from partners. The sums are really quite dire, when you do them you come to the conclusion that for average people without many qualifications, you can make much more money from doing so than a minimum wage job.

drc

misskool wrote: »

and what about women who keep having children (like that Shannon Matthews mother, 7 children from 5 fathers) so they can keep the benefits rolling? They know what they need to do to keep their benefits.

And what about mothers who deny rights to the fathers of their children during a seperation? There are 2 sides to every story, let's not just pick one that suits us.

I don't dispute that there are women who are like Shannon Matthews mother and others that deny rights to the fathers of their children. But there is generally a lot more venom in the press about "single mothers" being the scourge of society and the point I was making that in most cases it takes two to tango. Sure there are bad mothers who have kids for the money and take the man for the ride but there are also a lot of intentionally "absent fathers" who are very rarely mentioned in the press as one of the reasons why there are so many "single mothers".

ILW

drc wrote: »

I don't dispute that there are women who are like Shannon Matthews mother and others that deny rights to the fathers of their children. But there is generally a lot more venom in the press about "single mothers" being the scourge of society and the point I was making that in most cases it takes two to tango. Sure there are bad mothers who have kids for the money and take the man for the ride but there are also a lot of intentionally "absent fathers" who are very rarely mentioned in the press as one of the reasons why there are so many "single mothers".

Maybe if the women held out until they had a ring on their finger (with all the legal ties that involved) the situation wouldn't arise. It is the way it used to be. Blaming the bloke may be correct but it doesn't save the girl from a life on benefits.

SingleSue

You can still get absent fathers (in all senses of the word) even if you had a ring on your finger before having the children....

ILW

SingleSue wrote: »

You can still get absent fathers (in all senses of the word) even if you had a ring on your finger before having the children....

True, but I would suggest there is a better chance of getting him to contribute than if it is just some boy from the estate.

Pennywise

drc wrote: »

or men who get women pregnant "because they don't want to wear a condom"

The women are just as responsible for letting the bloke have his way without a condom.

Any red-blooded male will always try it on.

It's the woman who bears the consequences so they need to start respecting themselves and saying "no" - that's no to casual sex, no to one night stands, no to the bloke not wearing a condom etc., and start saying yes only when there is an ongoing relationship and the woman has some confidence in the bloke respecting her and staying the course.

Perhaps some women should stop going for the "risky" bloke that some seem to prefer.

Unless she's been raped, the woman is equally as responsible for the bloke, but should be more wary as she's the one who bears the consequences when it goes wrong.

thriftybabe

amcluesent wrote: »

About time. Living well off CB/HB/IB etc. is a 'lifestyle choice' that needs to be removed.

Am afraid that is so right! I have a friend who is on benefits at the moment (not sure which ones but definitely housing benefit and is a single parent). She has a better social life than me and is going on holiday for a couple of weeks this summer! She got offered a temping job but rejected as it would have interfered with her holiday!:mad: I am absolutely raging! I have no idea what she gets but I think she must be getting quite alot to be able to go on holiday without working!!!