Child Access Queries

shell_542

Google Wikivorce and go on the custody and contact forum. They have a lot of people very clued up on contact arrangements on there, a mixture of people who have been through it and solicitors. He can find a lot of info on the internet and represent himself successfully in court to gain a court order. What he is looking for is not unreasonable.

He doesn't have to do every thing on the mother's terms. Both should be taken into account. Sometimes when one person will not budge, then you need that third party to sort things out.

The other people to try with regards to representing himself and his rights and access queries would be Families Need Fathers. Again you can google them, pay a fee to join and the advice is available to them. It's a lot cheaper than solicitor fees x

Crazies

Thank you Shell

Crazies

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shell_542

LOL, what a pain!

It has lots of forums about all sorts of child issues following a separation.

speedster

sounds like court is inevitable in this case.

when you are dealing with one of these "wimmin" with ownership issues, this is often the only way forward.

you can go Litigant In Person (LIP) easily enough. alternatively, join FNF and look at getting yourself a makenzie friend. these are guys (and gals) who've been through the mill themselves and offer an excellent service for a fraction of the cost of a money grabbing solicitor who will only be interested in lining his wallet.

don't be put off by court. i have an ex with ownership issues and you would be surprised at just how easy it is to get them to show themselves up in court.

everytime i left court, i walked that little bit taller. the judge ripped her apart over her attitude on many occasions!!

go to the HMCS website and download the C100 form. feel free to PM me if you need any help filling it out.

beks

Great advice above!

I would agree that court is your only option here and tbh, I think it would be better that mediation. Mediation also relies on the ex agreeing to it and following the terms set out.

OH has been in your partners position (OHs dd was 3 months when they split and the ex has spent her life making access difficult) and we are now getting to the stage where we are going to be going back again (for the fourth time). Although it is a stressful process, it is worth it in the long run (our problem is that the ex agrees with everything until the orders seem to run out). We used a solicitor the first time but since then, have always done it ourselves. We used families need fathers.

If money is tight, then I would advise cutting the payments to the CSA level and using that money to put towards court costs to enable your partner to see his daughter (that is by far the most important thing and his dd deserves to have a relationship with her dad). It sounds like your partner would do anything for his daughter (and to placate the mother in the process) but he will get to the stage where he realised that nothing he does is right so he may as well do the minimum to help the mother out if that is the way she treats him. After 6 years of hell, my OH is slowly starting to feel like that although still struggles with his feelings of guilt every day.

More than anything, I wish you all the luck in the world, I feel you probably have a long road ahead and you both need to stay strong for your sds sake.

speedster

ditto that!

offer mediation, by all means. but i can gaurantee she will decline it. which goes in your favour.

when you file your C1 and get your first court date, the first thing that will happen is that you both get sent to mediation. and having refused a previous offer, the ex has already "showed her hand" at how unreasonable she is gonna be.

ding, ding. round 2.

you then go in front of the judge and he will see from your correctly filled out form that mediation has been declined, so he's got a heads up too.

stay calm and child focused and you'll be fine.

i do have some other very good tips for court. i wont post them on the open forum as there are those who would use them in let's say "not in the childs best interests"

please feel free to PM me if you need any help.