Goal - 3 debts paid by Christmas

Triggles

I did go to the nativity today - it was their dress rehearsal. And tomorrow DH & MIL are going. This way we both can see it and DS3 can be at home (as there is no room for pushchairs and he'd just be bored and cranky anyway). It was quite upsetting for me though, to be honest. DS2 was so overwhelmed by an audience (the other schoolchildren) and the costumes that he cried through almost all of it and his 1:1 had to take him out for part of it. It so highlighted the difference between DS's coping skills and the other children's that I just sat at home and cried afterwards. I've already warned DH that it might be upsetting for him and to brace himself, but we obviously need to go and show support. DS2 may do better tomorrow now that he's seen an audience and the costumes and it's more familiar. We'll see. Since I saw it today, I will be taking DS3 with me and going to an ASD support group locally which is meeting at that time while DH & MIL are at tomorrow's nativity programme. I really need this meeting - my own coping with this is becoming frayed with everything else going on.

I cancelled my dental appointment for this morning, and the receptionist insisted she had to cancel my second appointment for the other tooth as well. She said if she cancelled one, she had to cancel them both, which is complete and utter nonsense, as it was for two completely different things. :mad: Now I won't be able to get in until after New Year's to get the crown put on the one tooth - that was the one appointment I didn't want to miss - it was supposed to be next week. Arrrrrgggghhhhh! Wretched woman! I could understand if it was a follow up appointment regarding work to be done on the first appointment, but it was completely separate. I'll have to call tomorrow and rebook it. I was so cross today and stressed that I just couldn't deal with it and remain calm - I knew I'd be raging at her, so I just said fine and disconnected. Not worth the stress at the moment.

DH & I agreed that since we tried to meet with the problem family member and they refused, that we're not going to worry about it until after New Year's. We have enough that we're dealing with right now without it, so it's being put on the back burner. We've agreed - they simply "do not exist" until January. End of. And then we'll see what happens from there. Sometimes denial can be a good thing.

I've sat down this evening and gone over the entire budget. Not tooooo horribly bad. Paid the electric and gas bill just under the wire for the prompt payment discount. Had to transfer the money from savings to pay it, but will then transfer a similar amount into savings hopefully next month. We've got the MOT coming up in February, so we need to be financially prepared for that. And then the next utility bill comes up at the end of February to pay in March. :eek: It's going to be rather tight for a bit, I think.

We received a letter from one of our creditors that we've been paying lower payments on for ages - and that we've communicated our financial difficulties to by letter numerous times - and the letter says "if you are experiencing financial difficulties we may be able to help you by reducing your monthly payments or freezing the interest on your account. Well for goodness sakes!! We asked them to do that simply ages ago, and they refused, although they've been taking our small payments (and obliterating them with interest charges each month) without further quibbling until now. I'm going to write to them in January. It says failure to make a payment may lead to sale of account to DCA... we've been making monthly payments for ages, although not what THEY would like us to pay. They want us to ring them. Don't think so. We've also told them numerous times we will only communicate in writing. I guess it's time to go around with them now. But hey, it's Santander, and I've found they are incredibly disorganised - very "left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing" across the board. So I'll follow it up after New Years. Probably best thing that can happen is for it to be sold to a DCA at this point.

DH's meds have been bumped up due to all the stress of this stuff, medical issues (DS2's, plus DH's upcoming surgery), and family issues. I can see him slipping - more sleeping, cranky, wanting to avoid things. So he went in to GP today to address it, and she increased the dosage on his meds. Hopefully that will help a bit.

We've decided on using the frozen turkey we have already for Christmas. Seems silly to waste money on a beef roast when we've got a perfectly good turkey ready and waiting. We're also trying to use the groceries we have in the freezer and cupboards this month to get them down just a bit. We had a good stock up last month, but I think a bit too much. LOL

Also going to start wrapping gifts this week. I've got tons of brown postal wrap, and will be using decorative stamps to stamp a pretty holiday pattern on the paper. I also have one roll of wrapping paper left over from last year that we will be using. No point buying more really. Just have to finish some of our Christmas cards, and then put together the gifts for DS1 and his family, as they will be up later this week to visit, and we want to send their gifts home with them, as they are staying at their house this year for Christmas. We'll miss them, but we certainly understand the need to start your own family traditions at Christmas.

Well, it's late, and I'm dying for a cup of tea. Can't sleep tonight. Stress always makes it difficult for me to sleep - funny that it makes DH sleep more.

maman

So sorry to hear that the nativity was distressing for both you and DS2 but you were right to go. It's so terribly important to show support. Hopefully the ASD group will be useful tomorrow. Maybe you can discuss the effects of Christmas changes in routine on DS2.

I think you're quite right to forget your problem in the family until new year. You've tried, if they don't want to know that's not your problem. It's one stress less anyhow.

Santander have got a dreadful reputation for making errors and poor customer service. I read complaints about them in the financial pages of the newspaper almost every week. At least they seem to be doing something, but it a bit late in the day!!

Not too busy here today. I finished my Christmas cards (well started and finished ones for my family and friends as DH had already done all his huge tribe of a family) and posted them. I did a tiny bit of shopping, got my holly wreath for the front door. Decs will probably go up Friday or Saturday. I know it may seem awfully late but it's our tradition to get them up for DD1's birthday next Monday. Tomorrow I'm off to Winchester to get DD1's birthday present and a few other bits.

'night. Sleep (as well as you can):)

Triggles

I'm one of those "can't sleep when I'm stressed" people, so was up until 3am last night, then up at 5am with the boys. yawn!!

DS2 did slightly better today at the nativity - he didn't cry, but still had to leave a few times to regroup. It's a small improvement from yesterday, but we're happy with that.

The ASD group was great - it's so nice to know there are people going through the same stuff as we are with DS2. Made a friend as well that I'm going to meet next week for coffee. :j

Cooking a whole chicken in the Remoska. DH will be turning some of it into chicken curry tonight (our cheap basics ones - I really love that!!!) Then it's chicken/mushroom pie tomorrow night for tea. And chicken soup the night after that.

Ooops. I forgot I told DS2 he could play with the paint programme on my laptop, so guess I'm off for a bit. LOL

maman

Hope all is well. I'm glad to hear that second nativity performance was a bit better for DS2, it's all about familiarity of course and it's so good that he has someone in school to support him when he needs it. Obviously, there will be lots of new things he needs to confron over time but Chritmas is a bit of a one-off (obviously:o)

Glad you made a new friend and have plans for coffee. To coin a phrase, you need to get out more:)

Triggles

maman - yes, I probably do need to get out more. I can't say it's going to happen in the next few days - with all the snow and ice!!

Boys had stomach flu of some sort Friday night - miserable vomiting and crying - was literally up all night, although DH stayed home from work to help, thank goodness or I'd have never managed and stayed sane! Did two loads of clothes with sick in the washer - my god - I could have stayed in the shower for an hour after all that! Thank goodness they seem to be feeling better now, even though still a bit cranky and feverish, their stomachs seem to be settling somewhat.

I thought with DH off for the weekend, DS2 off school for the holidays, and snow outside so we can stay home with no commitments for the weekend, that I would feel more normal. Not so. Still feel off. Not sick, just not really into anything. Perhaps it's the lack of sleep. All the stress lately. Christmas seems to have pounced on us again this year - all the presents bought (except for a bottle of wine to add to MILs), but haven't gotten the wrapping done at all. And DS1's family was coming up yesterday but couldn't because of the snow. We won't be able to go down there before Christmas due to work schedules, so we have all their presents up here. So they won't get them until after Christmas as even posting (which would be really expensive!) wouldn't get them there in time. My family has ignored us again, no Christmas card, no acknowledgement that we're living and breathing here. Yup... ho ho ho. Happy Christmas.

No, I'll probably feel a bit better once I've had some sleep. Too wound up to sleep right now, but will end up in bed soon and will try to sleep again. DH took a nap today, but I didn't bother - I don't sleep well during the day and I'd just get woke up as DH would be stressing over sick kids, so what's the point? Always have these short little "couple bad days" times, so I'm actually glad they're now, and I'll be more human again by Christmas.

I think my brain just needs to shut down and reboot.

DH & I haven't bought our Christmas presents for each other. Just haven't had time. We decided on buying the 4th season of Dr Who together so we could relax and watch it over the holidays together, but we forgot to order it online (where it's the least expensive), so now it won't get here anytime soon. Silly us. Not sure what to do about that now. Could possibly order it tonight and see if we have a chance of it getting here. Hmmmm.....

maman

I think you're probably just tired triggles from all the stresses, sleepless nights etc in recent weeks. Hopefully now thay the DSs are on the mend you will play catch up with sleep and be ready to enjoy Christmas.

:mad:to your family's attitude. It's distressing but try to draw a line under it.

We've finished shopping (except for food) but done no wrapping at all. That's OHs task, I'll leave him to it.

I think you should go ahead and order the DVDs you wanted. They may come quickly but you'll enjoy them whenever.

Out for lunch tomorrow for DD1's birthday, feeling I just want it over (because of table manners/parenting issues etc). I know there won't be any outright 'falling out' (my girls are far too well mannered for that) but .....

Don't be a stranger triggles

Triggles

maman - Oh, I hope you have a lovely meal out tomorrow. Family can be both a blessing and a nightmare over the holidays - the expectations and stress of it all can really be overwhelming if you let it, I agree.

DS2 woke up at 3:30am and simply could not get back to sleep this morning. Thankfully, DH took over and insisted I sleep in for longer, as he knew I was exhausted. We're both tired, but we're trying to keep each other propped up. LOL I took over for a couple hours yesterday so he could sleep, he took over this morning so I could. He's upstairs now, as he's been sleeping for about an hour or so, while DS3 takes his nap (although I can hear DS3 fussing so I imagine they'll both be back downstairs again shortly!). It gives us each some rest and some 1:1 time with the boys. DS2 and I played some games and now he's colouring on some paper. Although I'll be the first to admit that Cbeebies plays a large part in retaining our sanity when things are crazy like this! :rotfl:

No plans to go anywhere today. We toyed with the idea, but really, there's nothing we absolutely definitely need, so there's no point. Just money that doesn't need to be spent. We will probably need to get up there tomorrow or the next day though, just when things are getting chaotic - but we'll make it a quick trip.

I also thought about buying more Christmas wrapping paper, but am going to stick to using the brown postal wrap and stamping on it to make it decorative. The boys will be happy with that, and maybe I can have DS2 help with it. Not sure if that will be too much for him or not. We'll see.

Well, better be off for now as DS3 wants to roam the living room, and he's far too fond of grabbing the laptop.l :rotfl:

maman

Delighted to say our meal went really well. The menu was varied enough for everyone to have something they liked and DGD2 chose fish which was easy to cut so no problems there:) Tomorrow is DD1's actual birthday and we're (me, DD1 and DGD1) going out for a girly time. Hairdressers, then into Winchester for some lunch and some light shopping. Then we'll come back for some cake.

I think that brown paper makes very classy wrapping and often use it tied with raffia or string for adult gifts and flowers through the year. However. if you buy it it's quite expensive. Ours comes from Ikea:o, we always 'need' to wrap something when we go there. I always try to buy some 'dual purpose' wrapping paper at this time of the year like plain foil or tartan that can double up for birthdays. Also the Asda Smart Price wrap is only 14p for a 2m roll and quite attractive so that's good enough for children to rip off.

Hope you get more sleep tonight. Is DS2 excited about Christmas, still unwell or is the poor sleeping pattern part of his ASD?

Triggles

maman - the sleeping issues are part of the ASD. Glad you had a nice meal out. Hope your day yesterday was lovely as well. Sounds like you're having a nice lead up to Christmas!

Right now, DS2's sleeping and it's 3:30 in the afternoon. He's ill with a fever and stomach flu for the second time in just over a week. DS3 had it as well on Friday and Saturday. Not a fun time!

Got a few letters from DCAs in the last day or so, so I will need to sit down and go over stuff for that. The pile of paperwork I need to do in the next two weeks is unbelievable. I'm just trying to avoid it until after Christmas, as it's just a bit much right now. I'll peruse it and make sure it's nothing that can't wait, and then go from there.

Triggles

Well, fought my way through Tesco today to pick up a few last minute items. We went mainly to give MIL a lift to her shopping, so she wouldn't have to drive. Tesco was massively busy, and then we went to a couple other places as well. Whew! But now we've got everything we need for a bit. No need to go to the supermarket or shops until after Boxing Day. Thank goodness!!!

Paid a little more for milk and bread today as we got it at Tesco, but worth the savings in hassle and time, as we then didn't have to also stop at Farm Foods, which was the other direction and we were exhausted at that point. LOL