Newly engaged - question?

Me_At_Home

Hi my long term boyfriend asked me to marry him whilst we were in Turkey last week and we have provisionally decided that we want to get married in the summer next year. I have a question regarding the church.

We are hoping to get married in the church that my partner was baptised in which is a CofE church. My question is this....

My partner's parents still live in the parish but neither my partner nor his parents attend church at all. Also, I was never baptised and do not live in the parish of this particular church or have any kind of link to it at all. Will the church allow us to marry there based on the fact that my partner was baptised there and his parents still live in the parish? Will we be required to attend church services before the wedding? I have looked on the church website and it states that if you have a "relationship" with the church i.e you were baptised there then you will be allowed to marry there, however a friend of mine told me yesterday that she wasnt allowed to marry in this particular church even though she was baptised there and her parents still live in the parish because she never attended services. This was a few years ago and so I dont know if the rules have changed at all but it has got me worried.

Any help at all would be most appreciated.

Thanks

louisecat

http://www.yourchurchwedding.org/youre-welcome/more-churches-to-choose-from.aspx

kr15snw

Every church is different, some are lax on the ruling and some arn't.

I would reccomend you go see the vicar and ask Your H2B being baptised there is a good start though

Gloomendoom

We got married at the same church my wife's parents got married in. Neither of us lived in the parish. You need to speak to the minister at the church in question. If your fiance was baptised at the church there should be no problem. Things get difficult if either of you have been married before.

Be aware that the minister may expect you to attend the church services before you get married.

goggle

if you aren't interested in attending church at all, why are you wanting to get married in church? I really don't understand why people who have no faith think it's so important to get married in church - they have the cheek to moan about the cost too!!

However, if it's really important to you, you should be ok as his parents live in the parish & he was baptised there, but whether you will need to go to church prioir to the wedding does partly depend on the vicar. Best thing is to go for a chat

Sammy85_2

Give the vicar a call and see what he says, if your partner was baptised there and has lived in that parish before then it shouldnt be a problem.

Most churches will require you to attend at least once when your banns are being called.

I advise going into church one sunday anyway, they're a great bunch (generally) and very welcoming in my experience. Its a great way to make friends and get involved in the community, which wont do any harm in the run up to your wedding.

Good luck

Gloomendoom

Sammy85 wrote: »

Most churches will require you to attend at least once when your banns are being called.

You are normally expected to attend at least once in all the the churches where your banns are being called, or at least send a representative.

Your home parish, your fiance's home parish (if different) and the parish where you are getting married.

It can be a busy time.

Me_At_Home

Thank you all so much for your help, I have emailed the church to ask a few basic questions and hopefully arrange an appointment to see the vicar. Hopefully he will be able to give us some more insight as to what will be required of us.

goggle wrote: »

if you aren't interested in attending church at all, why are you wanting to get married in church? I really don't understand why people who have no faith think it's so important to get married in church - they have the cheek to moan about the cost too!!

I dont believe that you have to attend church to have faith! For us, getting married in a church feels right and will make our day even more special. We cannot afford a big fancy hotel reception/wedding and have a tight budget but we are happy to pay the cost of a church ceremony and compromise on other things!

Sammy85_2

Me_At_Home wrote: »

For us, getting married in a church feels right and will make our day even more special.

I started off thinking the exact same way. If im honest, it was the lure of the "pomp and circumstance" that comes with a church wedding, the walking down the aisle, the booming of the organ... all that stuff...

We talked it over between us and decided that a civil ceremony just didnt feel right for us, so started attending our local church (not in our parish though!) on sundays to try and scope it out a bit before making a decision.

I now really enjoy going to church, (including the religious aspects) and have made alot of good friends and feel part of the community, which has been difficult for me as i moved up here and dont work in the area so havent really had the opportunities to make friends through work etc.

Ive talked it through with several of the church wardens and the vicar of course, and they all know that we wouldnt really describe ourselves as christians at this point, i think it would be crazy to say "yeah we're christians" after only a year or so of going to church.

The view seems to be that as long as we arent anti-christianity then they are happy that we would choose to get married in a church.