Choosing your partner

Wine_of_the_World

I think this is better elsewhere

ellay864

My own kind of gut feeling is that the more you try, the more 'rules' you try to work to, the less you are to get anywhere and you'll be so hung up on judging how right it is that you just won't enjoy anything. I found myself a single mum at the age of 35 with two young lads and no family around. Then I started to feel something was missing. I already used chat rooms - purely for sociable chatting, though I had met a few guys but never with any view to it 'going anywhere' I registered on some dating sites - nothing intense, just posted profiles and waited to see if I got any responses - and I guess by then I was thinking about the right sort of guy ie age, location, child-friendly but not wanting more kids, general interests. I got into e-mail correspondence/phone calls with a couple but very quickly decided I just didn't feel like meeting them. But one guy was different - he ticked all the boxes and we got on great for ages before deciding to meet one weekend. At the same time a guy in the chat room I used had been talking to me - I had a feeling he was seeing somebody else, hadn't got the remotest bit flirty with him, no interest in him other than someone to chat to. As he worked near where I worked we arranged to meet just for a friendly lunch midweek about 3 days after my date with the other guy.
Result? The guy from the dating site was OK but it just didnt click at all. But chat-room Kev was really nice, we arranged to meet again...within a fortnight he'd called off the (albeit casual) relationship he was sort of in, we started seeing each other and 6 years on we're engaged. He had (and still has to a lesser extent) huge financial baggage, it's been tough at times and being brutally honest I wouldnt have imagined this situation but it works. If he'd had to fit criteria he may not have fitted. I'm skinter than I would have been if I'd not met him but my life is sooooo much better. Sometimes you just have to go with it and not worry about how they fit the rules!