Child Care Payments

mitchaa

She will get nursery paid for by tax credits so any additional money from you wont be going towards childcare. Grow a pair of balls and tell her to bu*ger off. If you have 1 child, give her 15% of your earnings, no more.

She is trying to con you, she knows she'll get it paid for her so why on earth is she asking you for more.

Deepmistrust

mitchaa wrote: »

She will get nursery paid for by tax credits so any additional money from you wont be going towards childcare. Grow a pair of balls and tell her to bu*ger off. If you have 1 child, give her 15% of your earnings, no more.

She is trying to con you, she knows she'll get it paid for her so why on earth is she asking you for more.

no she won't. She has to be in work for at least 16 hours to claim childcare.

nannytone_2

but she'd be getting £140 a week in benefit with her rent and council tax paid. if the op can afford to pay 25% of his earnuing as child support he seemingly is on a decent wage so i could assume he pays up to £100 ish?
so 240 a week with no rent or council tax sounds good to me!

shell_542

If she's on benefits she would most probably get help with childcare costs for when she's at college anyway. No you don't "have" to cover the costs. The fact she's telling you, you HAVE to is a red flag that she may be trying to take the mick.

Plus why is she putting the child into full time childcare for a part time course? The college might not cover her for a full time place for childcare, but then if she's only going part time herself, it is her "choice" to use more childcare than she needs and so she should cover it.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

This council deducts housing benefit to the exact amount of any maintenance received. So it probably doesn't matter that much if she stays on benefits what happens. Full time childcare is often the only option because part time doesn't cover the variations in times. Few places only teach for 2.5 hours 5 mornings a week (which is often the standard part time childcare - the nurseries know this forces parents into paying for even if not using fulltime care, as it increases their profitability)

And if the OP does cover the childcare, the ex is more likely to complete the full course, get a job and give his child a better life over the longterm, particularly as she will be able to keep the maintenance he gives her rather than it being swallowed up by the benefits people.

I have one nightmare ex (who would cut off his own leg with a sharpened toothbrush if he thought it would hurt me more than him) and one who actively supports me by looking after our daughter when I have to go away for courses, day schools and for voluntary work which will get me useful current experience for applications once I qualify in my field. Ex Mk II knows it will be better in the long run for his daughter if he and his partner help rather than hinder me.

I am sure the OP doesn't actually want his ex to remain on benefits for the next 16 years, after all, as that means the CSA will be pursuing him all the time, just to save a bit of cash on the benefits bill - so mean though it may sound, he will probably save himself a lot of money in the long run to just hand over the 15% without a complaint.

shell_542

People on benefits do not lose any money because of their maintenance anymore. The rules changed in April and they can keep all maintenance and benefits.

The childcare provided by a college isn't 2.5 hours a session. That is the free sessions the government provide over 3's with. If she qualifies for help with childcare costs when at college (which is more than likely as she's on benefits) they will provide childcare around her course. The sessions matched the lectures when I was at college. Maybe the OPs ex will have to do what a lot of parents do and wait until her children are in full time school until she manages to follow the catreer she would like.

The OP may not be able to afford an extra £100 a week on top for child care costs whne they are already paying 25% of their wages to the person in child maintenance ... and I don't think they should be made to feel guilty for not offering to do it just because.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

shell_542 wrote: »

People on benefits do not lose any money because of their maintenance anymore. The rules changed in April and they can keep all maintenance and benefits.

The childcare provided by a college isn't 2.5 hours a session. That is the free sessions the government provide over 3's with. If she qualifies for help with childcare costs when at college (which is more than likely as she's on benefits) they will provide childcare around her course. The sessions matched the lectures when I was at college. Maybe the OPs ex will have to do what a lot of parents do and wait until her children are in full time school until she manages to follow the catreer she would like.

The OP may not be able to afford an extra £100 a week on top for child care costs whne they are already paying 25% of their wages to the person in child maintenance ... and I don't think they should be made to feel guilty for not offering to do it just because.

Maybe the OPs ex will have to wait until the children are at full time school to further her career like a lot parents, both single and in a couple (granted mostly mothers.) have to.

I didn't know about the maintenance change - that wasn't advertised! (Irrelevant now, but would have been handy had Ex Mk I ever got off his behind and worked for a living)

But I still think that it might work out cheaper in the long run to help as much as possible and be in the interests of the child. A child with a mum studying/working is statistically more likely to have positive outcomes in terms of education and health than one whose Mum is kept on benefits for longer. There is also the likelihood of being able to buy better accommodation, access to better schools, an atmosphere of education and achievement, etc, etc.


The OP says this was her last chance for acceptance and she had been on benefits for 7 years. It seems that it would make sense to help - could the OP not provide some free childcare if the idea of giving her additional money is unthinkable/impossible? As I said, my Ex Mk II helps by looking after DD2 (as well as his OH). He isn't constantly chucking money in my direction (although that would be nice)

I wasn't intending to make the OP feel guilty, I thought it could be to his advantage and his child's advantage to look at it as an investment rather than a penalty. After all, had they still been together, he would have had to support her to improve the family's prospects, and I presume he did so as she completed an Access course whilst they were together.

Saying she will just have to wait to do what she wants seems counterproductive - it's not learning to ride a pony, it's getting a professional qualification which could improve the child's life and future prospects significantly.

shell_542

I didn't realise I had repeated myself in the last post, apologies.

Even if they were still together, she still might have had to wait if they couldn't suddenly afford an extra £400 a month childcare on the father's income alone! That's a lot of money and not many people would be in a position to be able to just start paying it out.

Its a lovely idea to be able to sort childcare out either by paying for it or helping look after the child themself ... but the way its been brought up is not the best way I don't think. She's suddenly claimed I'm going to college and you HAVE to give me £400 a month extra for childcare. If she had discussed it with the OP, fair enough. If she's suddenly demanding it, its the sense of entitlement that gets people's backs up.

The change of maintenance was discussed quite a lot on forums I've seen over the net. There's a sticky at the top about iit.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

They just didn't mention it to me - I never got a penny from him, didn't get any letters about it either - just the ones repeatedly demanding I notify them of all payments I received from Ex Mk I (which was zero, which I told them often enough). I must admit that managing by myself was far more important than chasing a bone idle good for nothing for cash I was never going to see, so I didn't feel the urge to look up further details online, knowing the CSA was next to useless.

Perhaps a 'I can't give you any more money, is there some way I could help with fitting in childcare?' might defuse the situation.