Ex has put in a backdated claim even though I paid every week.

Soubrette

Another thought - perhaps you could contact your ex and let her know that you will be stopping maintenance on the advice of the CSA.

At least then she'll be aware that household income will be dropping.

Sou

bdt1

Sorry, but just a last thought from someone who been in similar. When she doesn't get 'money' that she wants, she may hit you with the child access issue, e prepared for not only a CSA invasion and the fallout from that, but an access issue, she sounds like my husbands ex - when she got too greedy for our money, and thought she stitched us up, then no matter wot, she stopped access, we tried lots of things but, PWC in our case was just too bitter, too loopy and too hellbent on no access, we do now have an injunction against this mentally unstable PWC - just do not trust or underestimate a bitter/twisted ex;)

DaisyChainMaker

My relationship with my ex has always remained civil for the sake of the kids and i’ve never had any problems with her before.

Until last month! I’m worried sick.[/QUOTE]


So what changed last month? Has your situation changed at all? eg are you seeing someone new, or planning to buy a new house, or getting married etc? If you have been civil for the last 12 years, and then out of the blue your ex turns nasty there has to be some reason behind it? Jealousy? Depression? Her text message was nasty, like she wanted revenge for something.

Stay positive and don't drop to her level. Keep paying whatever it is you pay and keep a record of it, eg cheques

Best of luck

Donedoingdebt

Or maybe was it even her that sent the text or possibly some over possessive/jealous new boyfriend that got hold of her phone??

missmontana

No matter what happens with the ex, if the children are teenagers I'm sure they will be able to make up their own minds about seeing their dad.

clare79

No idea what happened, we're both in long term relationships. Even the kids don't know why she's done it, and have both told her that she'll be taking my side in this.

13Kent

When she discovers you will be paying her less she may try to persuade you to change to a private agreement - BE VERY CAREFUL - if you pay her direct and she contacts the CSA again a few years down the line and denies you paid her anything then you will get a huge arrears bill - in our experience they belive the PWC above the NRP even when the NRP has evidence to the contrary.

Blonde_Bint

I agree with 13Kent there 100 per cent. I could see that one coming as well.

She will get you to go back to a private arrangement open a csa case on you which you know nothing about 5 years down the line your pwc denies any payments, gets the csa machine rolling and you will be paying this money back because there was a case open. Be very careful how you pay this woman. I'd say in this case go through the csa and make sure they get your maintenance payment on the dot every month.

Wheres pd0001 when you need him:p OP please let us know that you have made yourself 'cast iron' where your payments are concerned so that if you actually havent and the csa dont accept that as child support payment someone can point it out to you so you can put it straight:).

markeymark

as many have said go to CSA yourself then pay whatever extra the shortfall is to your kids

Soubrette

13Kent wrote: »

When she discovers you will be paying her less she may try to persuade you to change to a private agreement - BE VERY CAREFUL - if you pay her direct and she contacts the CSA again a few years down the line and denies you paid her anything then you will get a huge arrears bill - in our experience they belive the PWC above the NRP even when the NRP has evidence to the contrary.

Easy to avoid - when you come to a private arrangement phone the CSA and make sure the case is closed - then the same proviso applies - they can backdate to first date of contact in any new claim.

I wish my experience was the same as yours though

Sou