fed up with me and OH never agreeing about money

loopyloulou_3

he thinks he is fine - getting by on teh bare minimum and paying the minimum payments whereas i wanna get debt free ASAP. We both want a family and to get married but I am not prepared to even consider this with his level of debt.

It drives me potty. If i was in as much debt as him i would be working night and day to get rid of it but he just bumbles along without a care in the world.

Im SO FRUSTRATED!

loopyloulou_3

he also just said "its not my fault you have that stupid MSE stuff running through your veins"

PAH!

Emmzi

Loopy,

hmm. Got his half of the house deposit together then, has he?

I'm SURE between us we can find you a more suitable prospect... aren't half of all marital arguements about money?

When's DFD? (when you can start flaunting your guilt free self purchased diamonds at him?)

Molanole

I know exactly how you feel hun. My OH owes about two thirds of what I owe but I earn over twice as much as him. I'm panicking about my debt so I really don't understand why he isn't. I tried to tell him how long it would take for him to pay off his credit card by only making the minimum payments (showing him the bit from the money diet to prove I wasn't making it up) but he seems as unmoved as ever.

An ultimatum is not far off methinks.

Not constructive I know but you have my sympathy! (((((((hugs)))))))

cupid_s

Emmzi wrote:

I'm SURE between us we can find you a more suitable prospect... aren't half of all marital arguements about money?

I actually read that more marriages break up over money problems than anything else so it does bear thinking about

As soon as I started going out with my hubby I converted him to my debt free way of thinking. Try getting him on here loopy

Gemmzie

Sympathetic and understanding over here too

Father is always a maxed out-min payments person :rolleyes: Still spends like a single 21 year old man who was on a very very good wage.
But the wage is no more and he now has a family.

Mother is fully converted though, so we will break him down together.

msmicawber

What Cupid_Stunt said is right. And you can see from other threads on this board how very difficult it can be to get out of debt once you have children. For me, I found it very stressful to live with a man who had an 'it'll all come right' attitude to the enormous debts that were mounting up when only I was trying to do something about it. In the end, we fought terribly and I lost all respect for him. Something to bear in mind.

I think you need to speak to him again and explain how important this is to you. There's a pecking order in what is important in terms of compatibility, and I believe that approach to financial matters is up there with monogamy and, when the chips are down, if you don't have the same attitude as each other, then the chances of the relationship working long-term are slim.

On the plus side, Gemmzi and Cupid_Stunt seemed to have effected conversions, so it is possible in some cases.