does being mse take the fun out of planning a wedding?

binkyboo_2

Just looking for some reassurance i suppose that my money saving isn't taking over from the whole fun experience of wedding planning!

I haven't been shopping for traditional wedding dresses, i have got one from monsoon. My mum was with me when i got it but i haven't gone through the whole experience of trying on big white dresses.

I have bought 2 bridesmaids dresses that i love and think will suit my 2 bridesmaids. One who doesn't live close has seen a picture and likes it. The other is coming round today, doesn't know i have bought a dress and i'm panicking for some reason that if i show it to her she won't like it or like the fact i have bought it without her being there to choose it!

The truth is our budget is very tight and i knew a shopping trip to choose a dress would end up costing more than we could afford. I have got these 2 dresses new, with tags from ebay so if she doesn't like it then i have no choice but to sell it back on probably at a loss and start again.

Part of me thinks i love them, it's my wedding day so I should ask them to wear them but if they want to change for the evening do then they can.

The other part of me is now regretting buying them and thinking i should have waited taken them out and let them choose it would make my budget suffer but my friends happy.

What do you guys think, have i denied my bridemaids the opportunity to help me make these important decisions?

anderson8

i went into one dress shop, didnt try any on. and then bought my dress from America.
my bridesmaids didnt try their dresses on either as i got them in the debenhams sale.
they love them, though my sister is slightly conscious having just had a baby so shes getting a bolero to match.
your bridesmaids can accessorise if you want them to and they still feel like they are having a say.
being MSE doesnt take the fun out, you get to share your thoughts withh all the lovely people on here, plus nowt more fun than getting a bargain!

midnightraven3

read on ANY other forum
and you will hear about brides to be and the stress of dress shopping with their bridesmaids, people falling out at not being invited, one not liking the other girl etc etc etc

you on the other hand, have gotten your dresses at a good price and eliminated all that:T
sit back, see if she likes the dress, you could even do small alterations if she isnt 100%
i say:j you are having an mse wedding
there are THOUSANDS of people who wish they had

being mse makes you more resourceful, and everything achieved feels GREAT
and you will have a truly unique wedding with lovely touches that no one else will

i think you are just have those little wedding planning jitters
no need, you are going about this the perfect way
i hope you can relax a bit more as things progress, and you can enjoy every single minute of your planning

good luck & congratulations:D

bubbles0169

i agree theres nothing more fun than hunting bargains but i think itd make life soo much easier if i had a bottomless pit o cash
im not saying id get the most expensive of everything its just if i see something i like i could just get it and not think 'is it in budget?'!

i am choosing what my bridesmaids wear one because of the cost and two because they have to match/flow and no one else knows what i want on [STRIKE]my[/STRIKE] our day

and also if you werent MSE you wouldnt be here which is just a godsend to keep me sane(ish) never mind the saving money!!

Emu53

i got my dress from a bridal shop, i saw it in the window in the sale and bought it their and then, its the only dress ive tried, but i think if you love your dress it doesnt matter where you got it/how much it cost, I dont have any adult bridesmaids cos i couldnt afford to, i'm sure that your friend will like the dress but if she doesnt you could always let her change in the evening? maybe you could have a girly day out to choose shoes and jewellry? that way you still get the experience and the dresses you want?

rach_smarties

I don't think that trying to save money takes the fun out of it - quite the opposite I think. Getting a bargain makes you feel great, I think I would still do it even if I had an unlimited wedding budget!

PinkPeach

I've bought my bridesmaid a dress from Ebay as well. I chose a dress from Coast as I wanted it to be something she could wear again and picked a style that I knew we both like. The downside has been that the dress doesn't fit perfectly and so I'm having to get it altered for her, which is a pain but my neighbour will luckily do it for next to nothing. I also feel bad that she didnt' pick it from a shop because of this but my budget simply won't allow for it. I feel the same in that it would be nice to not have to scrimp on things quite so much as it's a special day - hopefully though things will work out so that we're all happy with how the day goes despite the tiny budget!

RainbowDrops

rach_smarties wrote: »

I don't think that trying to save money takes the fun out of it - quite the opposite I think. Getting a bargain makes you feel great, I think I would still do it even if I had an unlimited wedding budget!

Agreed - I love getting a bargain!
I have to admit the main cost of my wedding (ie the venue, food & drink) is a bit more than what I've seen other MSE'ers say, but our parents have offered us the money to help. Even so, we still haggled & got a £2K discount.
As for everything else, it'll be MSE all the way.
Mates DJing, family making the cake, a friend to help with dress making / alterations, high street brides maids dresses, no hiring of suits etc. :money:

lindaatno9

I think people in every day life are thinking of saving money where they can and when they find a bargain, they are very happy. It's about 2 people getting married so if you have done everything on a dime and are happy then I think thats fab. Spending 1000,s and 1000's on a wedding doesn't make them any more married than someone who hasnt, but I bet they then spend the next 10 years paying for it. By that time, some may already be divorced!!

binkyboo_2

thanks everyone, of course you're all right it is a buzz when you hunt out a bargain and I am enjoying the fact that we won't be getting into debt to have our special day just as we want it.
Luckily my bridesmaid loved the dress and it fitted like a glove, so long as bridesmaid 2 has the same reaction we will be fine. Neither seem to mind they haven't been able to go shopping to choose them so I feel a lot better about it now.

faerie_girl

We are having a low-key, low budget wedding (£600is) with close family. We are getting married in the registry office then having a garden party at home.
I am finding it very fun shopping around to get the best deals on things. I think if we did have a big budget I would still find places to save money on.

For us it is about being married, we could wait and save but we don't want to wait any longer! The biggest thing I am compromising on is a proffesional photographer. I would have really liked one but we can't really afford it. My Dad has convinced OH we don't need one so now he doesn't want to try and find the money for it. I am just hoping we get some fairly decent photos by passing our camera around. If I could do it myself I would! I would really like a shot with everyone in, perhaps I might take our tripod and put it on a timmer lol!

We are thinking that once our debts are paid off (not a lot but I am only working 8hrs p/w since having our son so money is tight) of saving up for a holiday and a party to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary (providing OH hasn't murdered me by then ) Hopefully we will manage something a big grand as I will be increasing my hours once LO is at nursery.
x