Mortgage Payments & Child Maintenance

M40AEP

This is my first post. Some constructive advice would be good.

My wife and I separated 18 months ago. My wife and 3 children (12, 10 and 8) still remain in the marital home. The home is mortgaged and in joint names. As soon as we separated, the house was put on the market but is yet to sell. During this time and to date, I have continued to pay ALL bills associated with the home including mortgage, insurances, council tax, utilities and repairs. In addition, to these household payments, I pay my wife a sum of around £150.00 to £200.00 per month - this amount is not relative to anything in particular but it is fair to say I consider it extra money to help our children. I work full time, my wife works part time.

After a period of sleeping at friends, with family and in the car (!) I have taken a rent on a small property which itself incurs its own running costs.

With the economy as it is, I still find it amazing I have managed to pull all of this off financially. I run my own small business which has, like many small businesses suffered as a consequence of the downturn.

Moving forward, my wife has recently stated that she no longer has plans in the short term to sell the house and it is my responsibility to continue paying the mortgage and household costs. Indeed, she has indicated that she has full rights to stay in the home until our youngest child reaches the age of 18.

In addition, she has asked that the £150.00 - £200.00 extra money I pay into her bank account each month be increased in line with CSA payments and if I do not she shall pursue this through the CSA.

I work extremely hard - often long unsocial hours and am doing so for my children and not for my ex who left me after starting another relationship which has since ended. I cannot work any harder to earn more money.

I simply cannot afford to pay the mortgage and the expenses on the marital home, rent and the expenses on my home, extra payments to my wife and live!

I am currently also paying all legal costs associated with the divorce as my wife works part-time and cannot afford a solicitor.

My question is, what are my financial responsibilities at this time? Are they to the marital home, my wife or our children.

I do not wish to see my children forced to move to another home but cannot continue to pay for all these outgoings. I am concerned of getting myself into debt because of it.

I have explained to my wife that I believe since I pay all costs associated with the marital home I do not need to pay child maintenance. She disagrees and insists I pay both.

I am hoping someone with previous experience may be able to offer some help.

AnxiousMum

I really have no advice on the legal liability of the house - although given that you have been paying the council tax, that's something that your wife should be taking care of as she is the adult resident there, not you. She would qualify for at least the 25% lone adult discount, meaning that you have been paying more than necessary had she been taking care of it. If she is on such low earnings, then she would likely be eligible for some kind of a discount on the rest of her council tax as well. Whereas you have been paying probably around the £100 per month mark for the council tax, if she took care of it, it would be quite a bit less that needed to be paid.

As far as the legal costs go, again, does she not qualify for free legal assistance if she is on low income? Don't see why you should be paying ALL of the legal bills, in effect, paying another lawyer to screw you out of absolutely everything you have ever worked for? There MUST be a conflict of interest if you are paying her legal bill too.

Just a couple of things off the top of my head, but others will be along shortly as well

missmontana

I really don't think you should be paying ALL the costs towards the house, as AM says, she will get a discount on CT of 25% and she should really be paying this as you will have to pay your own in your new home.
The mortgage is a hard one, I guess you should work out a percentage to pay, something for the solicitors to work out.
You could always beat her to it and go to the CSA yourself, will you be having the children for overnight stays now you ave somewhere to live? This will decrease the amount of maintenance you have to pay. You can get a rough figure using the CSA calculator on their site. How old are the children?
I really think she's being unfair, she will be getting tax credits and the child benefit aswell as her wages so its not like she doesn't have any money!

kingfisherblue

I don't know all the legalities, but I don't think you should be paying all the bills for the house.

In my case, my ex left me with three children and didn't pay a penny towards the mortgage or bills, and certainly nothing towards my legal costs! I don't work, as I care for our disabled son, so I had to claim Income Support. I get help with the mortgage and get full council tax benefit (so I pay nothing). I haven't paid any legal costs, but there is a charge on the house, so when it is sold, the legal costs will be paid.

My solicitor told me that I can stay in the house until my youngest is eighteen, but due to the house being adapted for our disabled son, and the fact that he will need care for the rest of his life, the judge ruled that I can live in the house for as long as our son lives there, subject to certain conditions. That is obviously specific to my situation, but I believe that your wife can stay in the marital home with the children until the youngest is eighteen. I would imagine that she has to at least contribute to the mortgage though.

Child maintenance (assuming that you have no children living with you and you do not have them to stay at least 52 nights a year) is 25% of your take home pay, as you have three children. I agree that it is unfair to have to pay this in addition to all bills, mortgage, etc. You shouldn't have to pay the bills for a house that you do not live in (not sure about the mortgage though).

I suggest that you see a solicitor who specialises in family law. It sounds as though your wife is taking advantage of you.

Caz3121

have a look at the CSA calculator and see what the CM payment would be. She may well find that she will be worse off by taking the calculated maintenance as you would not be paying all the extras

the mortgage is a different point but council tax, utility bills etc are not your responsibility and she should be paying these from her income + benefits + maintenance. You don't mention what her income is but assuming she works at least 16 hours and earns £8k and has no childcare costs she would be receiving tax credits and CB of over £1000 per month so do not worry that your kids will go without heat or electricity.

How old are the children?

daska

What does your solicitor say you're liable for?

moneymessmummy

I have been in this situation, I had to get legal aid to get through my divorce, it is standard for solicitors to sort this out at the beginning. The mortgage is considered as an investment by the CSA and they will not allow for that when calculating maintenance but as you are self employed it may be worth speaking to your accountant about the situation, my ex is self employed he has managed to 'loose' 60% of his income in paperwork paying only a fraction of what he actually should and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it even with the 7 years of books previous to our separation. I dont actually know if it was a point of law at the time but I was told I could not contact the CSA until the divorce had been finalised

moneymessmummy

your wife making a contribution to the mortgage is a complete no no! ask your solicitor, even without her contributing she will most likely be awarded 60-70% of the equity if you agree to sell now or sell when your youngest leaves full time education. She should be responsible for the running costs of the home though. Have your solicitors not outlined this in an agreement about what will happen financially while the divorce is going through?

markeymark

your wife should be paying half the mortgage and all the household costs, i admire you for paying virtually everything and continuing to contribute to your kids upkeep, praise where its due

maggied_2

Is your solictor letting all this go? I think you need a new one to be honest!

Go to the CSA calculator https://secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/calculate-maintenance.asp and work out what you would need to be paying in maintenance.

You don't need to be paying for CT or utilities. However if it works out the same amount as you're paying at the moment you may both be happy with that.

You really need decent legal advice regarding the house. I believe she can stay in it until the youngest is 18 or leaves full time education - you would need to work something out regards the equity when it sells. I assume she isn't in a position to buy you out?
A couple of scenarios I know:
1. XH pays % of the mortgage plus CM and will receive % of equity when house sells when youngest child turns 18
2. XW foregoes any entitlement to XH's pension in return for having the house signed over.
3. House is sold, equity is split, you pay CM and solicitors sort out spousal maintenace and pension pot.

clearingout

whilst it is true sometimes whoever cares for the children gets to stay in the marital home until the youngest is 18 this is far from ALWAYS the case. Sure as hell hasn't happened in my case! You can't be expected to just pay her bills for the rest of your life whilst also paying yours...you need a home, a decent one, where the children can stay. You need to work out what you can reasoanbly afford and what she can reasonably afford and see if the sums add up. If they don't, the house needs to be sold and she needs to find somewhere she can afford. I have three small children - my youngest is just 9 months - and I have been forced out of the marital home so if it can happen to me, it can happen to your wife!

Just bear in mind, if your name is on the mortgage, the mortgage company will come after you as well as your ex if you default. You don't need that on your record if you're buying again...

I would write to all the utility companys and say you no longer live there and are no longer responsible for paying the bills, telling them who is. Close any joint accounts and work out a monthly figure you think is reasonable to cover the mortgage and child maintenance (look at CSA calcualtor). And that's it. She's had it easy for quite some time now - time to get in line with the rest of us!!

PS When I'm next looking for a husband, I think I'd quite like to marry you!!!! Would be nice to have a man who faces up to their responsiblities, that's for sure!