For those who have borrowed from family...

Webbigail

...how are you finding things?

I have loved getting almost no post! All we get now is 1 bank statement and the usual utility bills. That alone is a hugh weight lifted! Not opening any unwanted mail is a thing of the past!

Cash flow is still tight and I am really trying to stick to the budget but food shopping seems to be my biggest struggle. I do worry about being short at the end of the month and not having a CC to put extras on but its just a new way of thinking that I need to get used to.

Oh and its amazing that just the other day our saviour (family member!) told me we had already paid £1600 off the debt in 5 months! I was really surprised! Probably because we dont see a statement each month for our debt so I hadn't really been keeping track of how much the it was going down.

So how are you all getting on??

Lyndzzz

I have just borrowed £10000 off the mil and am paying back £600 per month so have already paid back £1200, which feels goooooood! I still have 2 creditors whom im hoping will accept settlement offers ive made, but hoping to be debt free completely (including family loan) by Jan 2012. Cant wait for that day!
So when are you looking to be debt free? did you offer your creditors settlement figures or did you have enough to pay them off in full?

Webbigail

Hey 2012 isn't long, well done! How are you keeping to your budget? You finding it strange not having credit cards and overdrafts?

We are currently paying around £340 per months so will take about 7 years but we have already started to put a bit of money away each month with the hope that at the end of each year we can pay back a little chunk so that it is paid it 3-4 years.

How is your MIL about the whole thing?

Lyndzzz

Its difficult, and we have had to be really really strict. but we want to be debt free by 2012 (just because i cant deal with the stress anymore - hate debt being the last thing i think of at night and the first thing i think of in the morning)
Mil has been great, was a bit embarrassed asking for the money at first but we knew she had it sitting in the bank and she had just moved in with her partner (who isnt poor!) so we knew she wouldnt need to dip into her savings anytime soon! And she was happy to help - she knows we are reliable and will end up paying her back a bit more than we borrowed as we didnt want her to be disadvantaged losing out on the interest from her savings account.

I love not having an overdraft and credit cards and i think we have both really "grown up" this last year with regards to money. If we want something that much, then its worth saving up for.
In the past we used to just use the cc's as "free money" - shameful really.

I read on here somewhere recently, someone's grandfather used to say "If it costs 2 bob, and youve got 1 bob in your pocket, then you cant afford it"
This made me laugh and i now live by it!! Its so true.

And i live on here! It really motivates me to keep going, and i get loads of tips for cheaper grocery shopping and inspires me to phone up my internet/sky/phone etc to get a much better deal. Im very frugal now!! I have even convinced dh to give up sky sports (it took a year!!) but saves us over 30 quid a month.

Just keep chipping away at your debt its such a good feeling seeing it go down and down

picasso2

Well its good you are all taking your responsibilities seriously. I lent a family member £45, 000 which I raised on my mortgage.It was to buy a buisness , I could see the stress of the job he was in at the time was making him ill and I thought I would get it back - we even went to the solicitors to have papers drawn up. I was eventually repaid £20, 000 and told that things were difficult and all they could afford.

I just get by every month. They have their second holiday to the caribean booked and regularly go out to concerts and shows but still say they cannot afford to give me even £10 a month token gesture.

My mum thinks they are the bees knees and takes them out , gives them money for the car etc - I have to pay for everyone if I go out with parents ( even when they say they are treating me to a meal out !) . My parents know I am skint but I am on my own.

It has torn us apart. I lend money to nobody and if I can't afford something I don't buy it. And I certainly don't go on meals out with the parents.

CompletelyLost

picasso2 wrote: »

Well its good you are all taking your responsibilities seriously. I lent a family member £45, 000 which I raised on my mortgage.It was to buy a buisness , I could see the stress of the job he was in at the time was making him ill and I thought I would get it back - we even went to the solicitors to have papers drawn up. I was eventually repaid £20, 000 and told that things were difficult and all they could afford.

I just get by every month. They have their second holiday to the caribean booked and regularly go out to concerts and shows but still say they cannot afford to give me even £10 a month token gesture.

My mum thinks they are the bees knees and takes them out , gives them money for the car etc - I have to pay for everyone if I go out with parents ( even when they say they are treating me to a meal out !) . My parents know I am skint but I am on my own.

It has torn us apart. I lend money to nobody and if I can't afford something I don't buy it. And I certainly don't go on meals out with the parents.

Not sure what to say, apart from that is shocking I dont know how they can sleep at night. You don't expect family to drop you in it like that... certainly makes me think twice about lending money to people.

immoral_angeluk

CompletelyLost wrote: »

Not sure what to say, apart from that is shocking I dont know how they can sleep at night. You don't expect family to drop you in it like that... certainly makes me think twice about lending money to people.

It's a lot more common than you'd think. Just check out the 'borrowing money from friends/family' thread on the loans board...

Lyndzzz

Blimey Picasso, thats awful. I cant believe they even have the cheek to show their faces to you!!
I feel really awkward now if we go out for a drink with mil incase she thinks we are spending the money she lent us (we dont - we used it completely on debts) but i think i wont relax until we have paid her back fully, hence the reason we are paying her back so much each month so this can be over soon...

sortingmyself

I borrowed a large sum from a family member and have just 4 installments left. I was very grateful to them but I have felt (and continue to feel) that every time I have bought something or been out for a day / weekend they are questioning my expenditure.

rainbowj63

thats awful picasso simply awful but thats families for you !!! you can choose your friends but sadly not your family

chiefton

picasso2 wrote: »

Well its good you are all taking your responsibilities seriously. I lent a family member £45, 000 which I raised on my mortgage.It was to buy a buisness , I could see the stress of the job he was in at the time was making him ill and I thought I would get it back - we even went to the solicitors to have papers drawn up. I was eventually repaid £20, 000 and told that things were difficult and all they could afford.

I just get by every month. They have their second holiday to the caribean booked and regularly go out to concerts and shows but still say they cannot afford to give me even £10 a month token gesture.

My mum thinks they are the bees knees and takes them out , gives them money for the car etc - I have to pay for everyone if I go out with parents ( even when they say they are treating me to a meal out !) . My parents know I am skint but I am on my own.

It has torn us apart. I lend money to nobody and if I can't afford something I don't buy it. And I certainly don't go on meals out with the parents.

Well that sounds like my sister!. Since 1981 she had borrowed a total of £66,000 from my parents for 2 busineses both of which are now bankrupt!. The first amount was £35,000 which in 1981 was a lot of money!. Since then she has constantly borrowed cash for cars, home improvements, holidays and schooling fees for my niece!. Her last little venture saw her take the last of my Dad's savings and buy a business in spain which lasted 2 years before going bust!. It left me with terrible depression having to take on my Fathers debts or his house (the house that I live in by the way) may have to be sold!. I am now his unpaid carer because he has had 3 strokes in the past 4 years. I havn't seem my sister in 5 years!!!. Has anyone got a moral to the story?:(