Bankruptcy is NOT only option

livinginhope

I have come to a very difficult decision this morning and wanted to share it with you all before I go.
I used to find this site very helpful and supportive,but recently I have been getting a bit nervous about the future because of quite a few posts on here about BR being the only way out of extreme debt,well it isn't!
As many of you know my circumstances and about how our 107k debt came about I will not repeat myself,but it was not our fault.We are trying every avenue to pay this back and for us BR is NOT one of them.In our view BR is a huge step back and really would be the end of the line,all the time there is money coming in to this house we will pay this debt.
I have decided not to visit DFW anymore as I find it upsetting to be told to go bankrupt,this is not the support I want,so what if it takes 58 years to pay it back,we will pay it back.
Thanks all for the kind words and support I received when I first posted and best of luck for your day when you are all debt free.

bluezone

well I suppose everyone is entitled to their own opinion

lynzpower

Im sorry you feel you cant carry on getting support here though

I think ive missed something here, have i?

bluezone

dont worry Lynz - he just didn't like what he was hearing on this site. When he asked for help, people were suggesting BR and he doesn't want to take that option. (I think thats what he meant)

mountainofdebt

livinginhope.


I know what you mean - sometimes the advice given about catalogue debts annoy me.

Soemtimes though going bankrupt is the only answer and gives the person piece of mind - however I think from what you've said, going bankrupt would have the opposite effect for you.

Please stay.........

Molanole

I think I may have missed something too. Echoing Lynz I will also say that I am sorry that you feel you cannot continue on here, gaining support, watching your debt reduce and generally airing your opinions. I will also say that we all wish you well and most of us being non-judgemental types on the DFW board won't mind if you decide to pop back for a quick fix booster or to let us know how you are getting on.

Best of luck.

bluezone

as I said before everyone has their own opinion which is why everyoone is welcome to air their views - stay and linger.

QueenB.

Like yourself BR is not an option for us, though sometimes i do daydream but as you say, for us as long as we have money coming in then we pay what we owe.

But for some it is the only option and all of us, no matter how we are dealing with our debt problems, need support.

I am sorry you feel the need to leave. As frustrating as it is surely it is a minor thing for others to bring up the option and you turn it down compared to how much you actually get from here?

livinginhope

Sorry don't think I explained myself very well,I have received some PMs telling me I am living with the fairies if I think I can ever get out of this situation without going bankrupt,I have been told I am dreaming if I will ever pay the debt back,this coupled with a lot of the advice on some of the threads is what has made my decision.I know for a lot of people BR is the best option,but in my opinion,it is given as advice too easily and really should only be the last resort.
I will visit from time to time,but as things are getting to me a bit at the moment,I will stay away until I feel more positive about my situation and able to take things less personaly.
Thanks for listening :A

msmicawber

Please don't go - even though I've only been lurking until a day or two ago, I've drawn enormous support and advice from the site. It's just that - advice - no one can compel you to do anything and, as with any consumer decision (taken properly!), you have to trawl through a lot of information and decide what is for you.

When I was at my lowest ebb 7 years ago, I too was advised that with debts of nearly £7k, no job, two small children and no home, I should let my debtors take control and bankrupt me if they saw fit or I should try and settle for a lesser amount (with what - sell the children??). My feeling was that I had borrowed the money in good faith, been lent it in good faith, and that I had a moral duty to repay it and to allow myself to sleep better at nights by dealing with it my way. Here I am 7 years later with the debt behind me having stood my ground against the advice.

Good luck to you whatever you decide to do.

rog2

I came to this site a few months ago, when I was completely down, and BR seemed, to me, to be the only option. However, after lurking for a while, I came to the conclusion that most people on this site were, like you, trying their level best to come to terms with their debts, and the majority were not only advocating personal sacrifices to pay towards clearing their debt, but were actually doing it themselves, sharing their advice (sometimes excellent, but rarely bad) with the rest of us.
The overriding theme, that has come through to me, is that BR should only be an option of final resort.
The advice that I have received has helped me to come to terms with a lot of my personal debt problems, and I have been making great strides towards clearing them.
Of course, there are people for whom the best solution, from the start, will be BR, but forums like this allow us to explore all of the options by the experience of others.
Maybe you have had some bad advice, or come in for some stick, via this forum, but, on balance, I would say that the level of advice here is as good, if not better, than anything I have found on any other site.
Best of all, NOBODY is forcing anyone to take advice, and you will always find support, whatever you decide.
It seems, therefore, a pity that you have decided to leave. Why not keep your options open and stay - you dont have to post, or indeed take any advice, but at least you will be able to tell us if we are talking c**p.
Regards
Rog