Finally - at last

Indebtmummy

I have plucked up the courage to actually type something here rather than just read about everyone else. Over the last 6 or so months I have been reading what others have written but have never had the courage to type anything myself. I am very happily married with 2 children but have a debt of about £21k, my husband is my best friend but I am so worried that our debt will tear us apart as we are always arguing about money - or the lack of it. I'm too embarrassed to tell my family but so desarately need to talk to someone about it all. It's our own fault we are in debt - years of spending more than we earn each month. We have finally sorted out a budget for ourselves with a plan to pay back our debt over the next 4 years but it seems like such a long way away. xxxxx

pixiechick_2

Hi indebtmummy and welcome!

I was going to suggest that you post a SOA and ring a debt charity for advice but it seems like you've both been very mature and responsible in setting a budget. 4 years isn't really such a long time and just think of how great it will feel to be debt free!

baby_fuzz

well done for admitting that you need to do something about the debt, and well done for sorting out a budget. now comes the hard part - sticking to it! you'll find plenty of support on the forums if you need it!

Firewalker

Good to hear from you Indebtmummy. Couple of things, really. Curbing spending to repay debt is very hard at first and four years may seem like a life sentence. But if you try not to fixate on money, cutting back and deprivation, but turn the whole thing around and concentrate instead on living a more balanced life it becomes not only easier but rather exciting. And of course seeing your debts getting smaller is very gratifying.

Relationships are a biggie in all that. I found that we were fine once we agreed a plan and committed to following it. Including the worst case scenario.

Hope this helps.

Firewalker

Indebtmummy

Thank you so much, I can't tell you how much better you have made me feel - actually being able to talk to someone rather than shouting at my husband is an amazing feeling. x

Xevius

Hi, I'm in a similar situation and have lurked more than posted for a long time. It took a couple of years for the lightbulb to hit us properly - finally started sticking to a tight budget in Aug 09 & despite it seeming ages before we are debt free, the last 9 monts have flown by. Good luck with your dfw journey!

Indebtmummy

Thanks so much for all your great replies, I actually felt more positive this morning than I have done for along time.

Can I ask for some advice, we were thinking of opening up another account thereby separating our bills from the our spend money, as each time I check our account I have to deduct all the direct debits and credit card payments from the total before I can see if we have any money left and normally what happens is that I add it up wrong and we end up short. Would you recommend doing this?

Also we have 6 credit cards , 2 are on 5.9% for life the others are on 0% until next year. Would I be better off consolidating them into a loan or try to keep moving them to 0%. We are hoping to pay the debt off in 4 years. The thing is I think we have had every 0% card going so not sure we would get any more. Does cancelling your card mean we can get another in a few months?

Thanks
xx

gonzo127

well done so far, and glad you are feeling so much better, although you have created a budget have you considered posting you SOA up here http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html is the best link to use, you never know we might be able to suggest other potential savings

as to setting up multiple accounts i personally think this is a great way to go, then all you need to do is set up a standing order for each of your accounts for the budgetted amount to come out on or the day after pay day, just remember you dont have to get loads of current accounts, a lot can just be savings accounts, anyways the ones i have and feel work

1/ current account for wages (anything left in here after my standing orders have gone out is spending money for groceries/clothes/treats/etc)
2/ current account for bills (direct debits)
3/ savings account for car expenses (1/12th of my annual expected repaires/MOT/tax)
4/ savings account for birthdays christmas and easter (work out who you will buy for for the year and how much you want/can spend on each for each celebration and then make this 1/12th of the annual amount)
5/ savings account for a emergency fund
6/ savings account for insurance, this is taking a bit of time to sort but the plan is if i can save enough in this one the next time one of my insuarnces come up i can pay up front and save money since i wont have to pay the interest to them for the monthly payments then add the amount i would have paid for this insurance (monthly value) onto my standing order for this account
7/ savings account for a holiday fund, this is always very low however i keep my eyes open for the offers in the paper for the holidays for £10 then anything i have saved in here becomes spending money and petrol

also consolidation is usually a bad idea since you will end up paying much more interest than you are currently doing! since you are currently paying 0% or 5.9% you will probably find most loans will start at between 7-10%, and usually if you cancel your ard you will have to wait between 6-12 months before you can apply for another card with the same company

Pinky15

HI from me too:wave:Well done for taking the first step. You will find people very supportive as most people are in the same boat.
We have different accounts also, bills (all ddebits etc), Leisure (food, general spends, Online saver for hols/Xmas. I also have a sealed tin for summer hols treats and then after hols I start refilling it for xmas. The idea being that the money provides a few treats out! It works for us anyway.
I think the hardest part for us is living within our means but slowly we are getting there!! Keep posting!!:)

Frugalchic

:TIndebtmummy welcome to this wonderful site! I only joined yesterday and, like you, have already received such support.

As I am new to all this as well, at the moment I can only say well done for joining and hugs to you and your family from me.

:A

baby_fuzz

ditto gonzo - I really recommend getting a separate account for bills. Set up a standing order to got out of your account a few days after you get paid, and you will never even see the money. I don't break it down as much as gonzo, but I always try to make sure that I have about £1,000-£2,000 spare (sounds like a lot!) to cover any big spends like boiler breaking etc. If you can't resist the temptation of this money being in the joint account, set up a separate savings account which is emergency fund ONLY.

Also, it may help you to switch to paying by direct debit where available, as it can sometimes save you a bit on your bills. You need to be wary though, as this may mean that bigger payments may be taken if for example, there has been a cold winter (like this year).