Gift list vs honeymoon?

girl-in-a-hat

Like alot people of our age, we've already made a home together so instead of asking for a new toaster, bedlinen etc. when our current stuff is perfectly good, we'd planned on asking for money towards our honeymoon. Many of our friends have done this and it seems perfectly acceptable and possibly even the norm now with so many couples living together before they marry. Anyhoo, I've just had a chat with my Mum and she mentioned a conversation she had with one of her friends who thought it was 'absolutely disgusting' that she had been invited to a wedding and had been asked for money towards the honeymoon instead of a gift. She went on to say that she would have no objection to contributing towards 'something to do with the house' but was horrified by the suggestion that she should pay for their honeymoon.

So, ladies (and gents)... do you support this view? Do you think it's a bit outdated? Are you having a gift list or something else? How do you feel if you're invited to a wedding and asked for money?

anderson8

were asking for money towards our honeymoon, but it is only a suggestion.
people dont have to give us anything, were simply swaying them in the right direction if they do.

hayleythedaisy

We originally were going to ask for money then realised we were genuinely more interested in having a good day than the money and would rather not offend people. A collegue gave out his evening invites at work shortly after I handed mine out and he got slagged off to high hell for putting a cash poem in them! It depends on who your guests are, I wasn't offended but find it awkward because I don't know how much to give, a token gift with thought can be purchased for a tenner if needs be but £10 in a card seems a bit lame.
Personally if you really wanted to ask for money I would leave it out of the invites and wait until people ask you (if you don't mention gifts at all then chances are they will) Not many people get household items any more, especialy if they know you already live together.

Evansangel

We left out gift list info on our invites. We have everyone we need for our home as i like things to be prepared. And no way was i waiting until my wedding day to have some toast! lol.

People have asked what we want and i've said "We already have everything we need, most people are getting us vouchers though"

Thats almost a lie, only our parents are getting us vouchers...

poppyscorner

Personally I don't have a problem with the idea my friend asked for this a few years ago at her wedding and I didn't object at all.

For our wedding me and OH have decided we actually don't want anything but our friends and family to turn up and celebrate with us thats the best present they could give

We had long discussions about it and we have our home together and neither of us are comfortable with gift lists etc so its not on the invitations and our answer to the question is all we would like is your prescence on the day

Lots of our family are going to have to travel to our day and all things considered I think they will have spent enough money doing that without spending more if that makes sense

OP if you would like to do it then go for it I would never be offended at being asked and think that while some people are they are in the minority from what I can gather

girl-in-a-hat

Thanks everyone for your responses. I suppose it's just a case of times changing, our parents wouldn't have dreamed of living together before getting married and so needed everything for their new home. Most of us now wouldn't dream of marrying a man we'd never lived with!