How do you address ths problem?

jonny115

I work with a lovely Lady who is my supervisor as such, but have noticed she seems to be covered in bruises, and even one day she was off sick for a while, upon returning I noticed she had what remained as a black eye, trying to cover it with foundation. The gossip mongers within the place I work talk about it, however I am concerned this lady is being abused by her husband or partner. I never usually get involved in work affairs, or gossip, but feel I have to intervene in this situation, i am looking for some advise on how to handle the situation, should I keep out of her affairs or should I talk to her or even to the police about it?:(

b-b-b

go to women's refusee get a leaflet or print out some details and leave it on her desk.

WeakHeart

If you have an HR team, make them aware as they should know how to approach this.

viktory

jonny115 wrote: »

I work with a lovely Lady who is my supervisor as such, but have noticed she seems to be covered in bruises, and even one day she was off sick for a while, upon returning I noticed she had what remained as a black eye, trying to cover it with foundation. The gossip mongers within the place I work talk about it, however I am concerned this lady is being abused by her husband or partner. I never usually get involved in work affairs, or gossip, but feel I have to intervene in this situation, i am looking for some advise on how to handle the situation, should I keep out of her affairs or should I talk to her or even to the police about it?:(

I can appreciate that you want to help this lady, but going to the police?? That is very over the top, considering you have no idea why she is getting the bruises. There could be a perfectly reasonable explanation. The police would more than likely tell you that the person would have to report any abuse herself.

I think the suggestion of women's aid leaflets on the persons desk could actually backfire. If she is being abused she may feel humiliated and that everyone at work is talking about her so stops coming to work, thereby closing off an 'escape' route.

It is a difficult situation, and I am not sure what to suggest other than becoming the woman's friend, but from your user name it looks like you are a man and so that course of action could only make things worse.

cheap_car_insurance

I think you should contact the social welfare authority for the domestic violence cases so they can investigate.

DVardysShadow

There is virtually NOTHING you can do directly apart from making the situation more difficult for her. If something is to change here, she needs to be the one to decide. Obviously, she is in some sort of denial, certainly at work - and she may well appreciate work as a refuge - not only from the violence but also for a few hours away from having to deal with it mentally.

Once you intervene, you will make work a much less safe feeling place. I would imagine that she can only keep the lid on it or let it go like a dam bursting. Of course she may appreciate someone to talk to about her situation, but it is probably not you. But if you do your bit to keep work a pleasant and happy place, you will be helping.

Zazen999

Or she could just bruise easily, like DIY and have whacked her eye on something.....trouble is you don't know.

When I was in a troubled relationship the bruises didn't show; but now I'm in a fab relationship and I'm happy doing gardening and DIY - I often bump arms/legs etc and I bruise really easily.....and it looks bad when it isn't anything of the sort.

bap98189

There is a woman works in our office who is frequently covered in bruises. She has also in the past had a black eye. But it's not from any domestic violence, she does karate.

I have some large bruises down my left arm and leg. I fell of my mountain bike last weekend.

Fact is you don't know why this woman has bruises. Did she have a car accident? Was she mugged? It could be any number of reasons. Perhaps you should try to find out before you go calling the police.

jonny115

Thanks for all the sound advice, but this has been an on going problem for the past year or so.

Like you say there could be a possible eligible explanation to all of this, I will take a backseat for now regarding this, and see what happens, keep you posted :-)

olias

Only other suggestion I have is, is the woman close to anyone at work? If so could you aproach that person in confidence with your concerns? If that person is close to the woman then they may feel better placed to try to find out if there is a problem.

Olias

spendaholiceejit

While this may be totally innocent, I'd say you could visit Women's Aid and talk to one of the people there, they will point you in the right direction (if there even is one). They may offer to send some posters & leaflets out to your workplace for the managers to post on the walls discretely. Don't tackle this by yourself, she could become mistrusting of you and that wont help if she is being abused.

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do. What DVardysshadow says about making work feel like a less safe place is so true. I think all you can really do is be kind and friendly. If she is being abused then one day she might suddenly decide to do something about it, but unfortunately this is not the way it works for everyone.