Am I nuts???

Great_Hairdresser

The 1st time I got married:o I didnt change my name. I have a very unusual first and sur name and always like the fact they were so individual (mys 1st husbands name was shall we say "common".

Now Getting married again and have a step daughter it feels right for us all to have the same name and my signature looks great lol.

My problem is about 15 years ago my H2B changed his name via deed poll after something terrible happened and him having an unusual name it would alway be related to this thing (sorry to be vaugue). He changed his name to his then girlfriends name for ease and knowing him he couldnt think of another name!!!!!

So I am actually taking another womans name:eek:

Does anyone actually get my train of thought or am I over analising the situation and just going nuts????:D

davetrousers

I've been to a couple of wedings recently where the groom changed his name to that of the bride.

faerie_girl

My opinion on surnames is that it is just a name! He could have called himself Mr Bat Man if he wanted to. He is marrying you because he loves you (one would hope!) so I wouldn't worry about him having a surname he pinched from an ex.

What does your OH think about the surnames. Is it an issue for him?
xx

bubbles0169

i totally know what you mean and i understand it but yes your nuts and yes its something i would think too lol
id just say to myself grow up and get over it...or get him to change the name a third time....no, now thats nuts...isnt it??:rotfl:

rene2b

if it feels right to you hun go ahead as for it being his ex's 'the ex is an ex for a reason haha!
it wouldnt bother me
but im not chargning mine
h2b his the father to all 3 kids all they all have the same surname but me but i cant care ill be married to him thats all that matters
might be nuts myself and double barrel it hahaha!

Great_Hairdresser

Thanks girls you do make me feel "normal" ish:D

Him changing his name isnt an option because his daughter has his name, double barreled is no good, because my surname is so long and unusually spelt it would be a life of spelling to folk.

I think I should just stop over thinking the situation and just get on with it.

I have no wedding stress as only the 3 of us are going on the day, so I think I am just trying to give myself some:rotfl:

Thanks for you help xx

student_advisor

Great_Hairdresser wrote: »

about 15 years ago my H2B changed his name via deed poll

so it's his name now, and has been for a long time, regardless of who it "belonged" to before, you are taking his name, not marrying his ex!

bigmomma051204

I have to say, i wouldn't be the happiest about my name becoming the same as his ex girlfriends! In fact, i probably wouldn't change my name at all in those circumstances... call me immature etc but thats just me lol.... i would feel that i was almost becoming his ex ( yeah yeah, i know not REALLY lol), instead of replacing her...if that makes sense???? I would feel that whenever someone said the name, it'd make him think of her.......


'Fraid i couldn't do it (sorry to be the black sheep - everyone else on here is just SOOO grown up LOL!!)

:cool:

shellsuit

I wouldn't want to change mine to his ex's name either I'm afraid!

I'd probably just not change mine if that was the case because I totally understand about him wanting the same name as the children.

hayleythedaisy

I wouldn't want it either but it seemed like with a bit of reassurance you were happy to go with it so you still should x

Alyssa_C_2

I want him to have my name! Good flipping luck trying to get him to though!
Ah well. Still haven't decided if I'm going to take his name yet.