I know where I need to cut down.... but I can't!

Imelda

Hi all,

I have been a member here for a few months now and have made some good money saving moves, I feel a lot more in control of my finances and have a clear plan to get out of debt. I currently have £400 a month left over after all my bills and savings (to pay off debt and to cover annual expenses) are covered. Now, this is loads and I should be spending half of that but each month I am still scrabbling around for money and having to dip into my savings. I will give you an example of this month's budget, I have been to 2 weddings:
Lunch with friends £10
run london £25
friend's birthday (present and lunch) £20
DIY materials £70 (for whole of flat)
money at work £20 (collections, odd snack, drink at lunchtime, £5 per week)
Dress for weddings £45
Wedding presents £50
hotel for wedding 1 £55
drinks at weddings £30
extra petrol to get to wedding 1 £20
friend engagement £50 (present, drinks, taxis)
now I know this may look like an exceptional month, but it isn't, it has been like this since I joined here. The next few months look the same birthdays, best friend's hen weekend, the wedding abroad (I'm bridesmaid, so got to go), niece/nephew due in autumn, then christmas. I never have a clear month where I can put an extra £200 or so to my debt. How do I break this cycle?

earwig

sorry this will sound harsh but you have a choice to make choice one stop going out and spending your money or choice two dont pay any extra of your debt you cant do both i to have this problem and i decided that allthough i want to pay my debt of i still want to live and do things rember its your money and your choices say to your freinds i cant go to your party ect as i need to pay some extra bills this month if they are true freinds they wont mind at all or say to your self iwant to go to this event this month and if there is any money left after that i will pay that of my debt dont beat your self up over it and if this is a typical month its not really spare 400 if you have to pay out for birthdays wedding christmas everymonth buget for them and then see what you have left good luck

wannabedebtfree_2

Wow - you are a very generous person, if it was up to me I would have to admit to friends that I am skint, and thankfully I am lucky that all my friends would rather have my company for a few hours than an expensive present.

We are going to a wedding reception on Saturday, and they have asked that we don't buy gifts, and that if people wish to give them something there will be a terrimundi jar on the main table, I will be putting some money into it, depending on how much I can afford, but this will only be £5-10, I just cannot afford to put any more than that in.

Maybe for your next weddings/engagments/etc etc you could give them a thoughtful gift rather than an expensive one, if you cross-stitch do a sampler, if you have all the bits and pieces it would only cost about £7-10, and its something they can keep forever.

Glad most of my friends are already married, I couldn't afford it constantly the way you are having to!!

xxx

cupid_s

There are still things you could cut down on.
Last month was an expensive month for I had a wedding to go to and all the hotels there were so expensive (70-90 per night).
So we drove there, and then left a bit early (just before midnight) and drove back. This took over two hours and we were knackered when we got back but it saved us lots of money. ALso saved money on drink as my dad was drinking less and in rounds it tends to mean everyone drinks less.

As has been said, for things such as hen weekends, point out you have very little money so can it be as budget as possible. I've done this with friends and after I mention it suddenly everyone then tends to agree to go cheap and cheerful (especially the bride who has a wedding to pay for!)

With us there always seems to be something needing doing, and we do it but we cut down on other stuff instead.

So take a drink to work every day. We really make an effort to make lunch every day. But even when we have nothing for a salad/sandwich we take drinks chocolate and crisps so all we need to get is the main bit. Even just doing this can save £2 per day, which doesn't seem much but over a year that would be way more than the £200 you want to put towards your debt.

Are there other things you could cut down on instead. We find that as long as we are really careful with the little things we can afford the big things which we see as important (holidays etc)....
try really sticking to a shopping budget and not buying things unless you really need them, driving less and walking more to save petrol money, almost never getting take-away, losing sky tv (if you have it), making sure you're with the best gas/elec company, swapping mobile tariffs if it will save money.

Doing all this will really make a difference. Good luck.

tyllwyd

It's in your hands, really, isn't it - weddings are a nightmare, but only you can take control of how much you spend at them. One thing you spent was £30 for drinks at weddings - usually, I've been offered a drink when I arrive, then wine during the meal - if you are really determined, you should be able to get away without spending much on drinks when you are at a wedding. You could have decided you couldn't afford the Run London, or met your friends for coffee rather than lunch. It's not fun, but if you are going to save money, budgeting hard is the only way to do it.

MoaningMyrtle

The only hint I have is to borrow a dress to wear or buy from a Charity Shop/Ebay. When I went to a Wedding recently, I bought a large lovely vase
from M & S for £10.00 for the gift. I also drove there and back so only had two drinks.

flower_chops

I agree with Earwig. The last few months I've had 4 weddings of family and very close friends to go to but because I've been open about my money issues people understand that I can't do a lot of the things I'd like to. Friends and family are amazing like that, honestly. For example, had a hen do that'd been planned for ages but it would have cost around £100 in total. I simply cannot justify that any more so was extremely honest with my friend the bride who totally understood and we went for a drink separately, but cheaper! Same with wedding presents. We can't aford big presents so we have bought smaller ones...it's the thought that counts! This sounds really mean but quite a lot of weddings we've been to over the last 6 months we've really questioned "do we even know these people that well?!" Sounds tight and stingy but I again, cannot justify spending £50 on someone my boyfriend worked with ten years ago and never ever sees!

And I'm sorry if this sounds mean but you can get cheaper dresses than £45, and certainly shouldn't need to buy one for each wedding. I feel really bad and hope I haven't upset you but I'm just trying to put myself in your position.

As you're bridemaid to the abroad wedding there's not much you can do to cut back there! Just enjoy yourself!!!

Best of luck...oh, and take a flask/bottles of water from home/snacks from home to work with you so you're not tempted there!

TallGirl

I have joined Pigsback and in 2 months I have earned enough points to get a £20 Boots voucher. I have not had to spend any money just click away and sign up to a few newsletters you can always cancel later. I am going to spend them on myself as a treat but you could do that and use them for xmas presents. There a thread on this on the Freebies board if you want to know more.

Rachie_B

we went to a wedding last month and i bought a dress from this ebay seller http://stores.ebay.co.uk/Chi-Chi_Dresses-size-10_W0QQcolZ4QQdirZ1QQfsubZ19QQftidZ2QQtZkm for £15 it was lovely and i then purchased a cream wrap type things from claires accesories to go over the top for £10

on the day everyone was asking if i bought it in monsoon !!! lol even though my sister has since then seen the same dress in a local market <ahem> !

oh well it served its purpose lol

for a present we had a lovely personalised memory album made from https://www.emmas-memories.com and a matching gift tag / wedding day card £18 inc P&P she does baby albums / boxes,birthday ,xmas ,wedding anniversary etc ive had many items from her now and am always over the moon with the item

if you are an arty farty type lol you could even attempt something like this yourself ?!

i agree with driving / not drinking so as to cut down on alcohol costs / overnight accomodation etc

you dont have to drink to have a good time,well i dont anyway !

Imelda

Thanks all, I think that's what I needed, a big kick up the backside! The easy part was cutting down all my household bills, I take lunch to work most days and am very strict about the £5 per week limit. I do totally fall down where my friends and family are concerned, I suppose it's because the present thing started a couple of years ago when the first friend got married, we all put in £25 and now we all feel tied to putting the same in for each friend. The dress I know was an extravagance and last minute, I tried my trusty wedding outfit on the night before the wedding and it didn't fit so I had to rush out the next day to buy something. It will be used for all the weddings and christenings I have this year (and then I will dye it so it can be used next year without people commenting!) I also wanted to drive instead of staying in the hotel, the actual cost of the room was £160:eek: for the night but the bride subsidised it as she wanted all of her close to friends to stay there. I know these are all just excuses and I am not kidding anyone, let alone myself. I just don't know how I am going to make that break and say that I can't afford things. I am still on track to have all my debts paid off by April 07 but I wish I could get rid of them by the end of the year. I am going to have to get tough, starting with friend's birthday lunch (another tradition) on Monday, just a diet coke for me I think......

skylight

Go Girl. Get tough.

You can do it!