job loss and deep debt...

PIPPER_2

I'll try + be brief..husband started own co 5yrs ago, they were stitched by a huge firm who had v clever solicitors and didnt get a penny. we lost around 50k plus had remortgaged.
last 3 yrs, since that happened, he has had jobs but they were all contract based so came to an end. he was lucky enough at the time to get job straight after last one ended. Anyway, the most recent one was extended and I always had a feeling he was being too laid back, once bitten... so I kept asking how it was going and was it secure, he always replied yeah, usual probs etc..
last night went pics for 5yr anniv as we are due to leave for hols, (trying to save) nxt week and again i asked and he reassured me.
This morning when he was leaving "for work" I got an inkling and said, tell me the truth is the job secure, to which he replied, its my last day. I flipped and screamed about being deceitful, again, and putting our family on the line (we have 3 and 2yr old).
he leaves and then sends me a txt. not going to work today, and then turns phone off. i leave numerous msg and eventually get him, sounding at breaking point and after a few hrs, convince him to come home and talk.
Than I find out he as been pretending to go to work all this week.
enough for anyone to cope with-last time my mum and dad bailed us out of that prob and i will always be indebted to them but i sensed he was, as he said, trying to get another job before telling me, his way of "protecting" us.
loads more i will include again, but i am totally numb, dont have any idea of how we can get through this. Ive organised appt with estate agents to value house and we can downsize -which he doesnt want to do but im trying to be realistic.
Has anyone ever had a similar prob, and/or can advise me as to what I/we can do? His monthly wage was 5k which met most/all bills and i work pt teaching so am on a pittance, not enough to see us through. Mortgage was missed twice so i found out today as well. help,

Emmzi

He's obviously been terrified to tell you, poor thing. I can understand your anger, though.

It sounds like the size of your mortgage is putting a huge strain on things -5k is a hell of a lot to have to bring in to meet 'most' of the bills! Downsizing seems really sensible to me. It also sounds like lower paid but secure employment on a permanent basis may offer the security you both need.

I would also get him to sign on asap and see about benefits. A couple of hundred JSA a month and council tax benefit may not seem like much, but every little can help.

Can you up your hours/do relief cover to help now he is free to look after kids?

Can you ask bank to switch mortgage to interest only until you get sorted?

Also list all your dd's and cancel any non essentials right away.

You may want to read the sticky 'first time posters' if you'd like more detailed suggestions.

PIPPER_2

Thanks, im on hols til sept but i do tutor and have been doing for the extra cash. He went to the mortgage guy today and has been told to go for repayment for a while to down the size also taking 3mth mortgage holiday.
I really feelfor him but he does tend to bury his head and get me to pick up. Im quite fed up with it and so too are my folks. He hasnt even told his from the first time round that we were stretched as it would worry them. i willlokk into all possible avenues monday, my baby is 2 tomorrow and we want to enjoy her day
thanks again

Fitzy29

I agree, 5k per month is a hell of an income...Times are tough so it's time to change!

Downsizing and releasing some equity will halt the pressure for a bit but it depends on the other debts you have. Why not give us the low down on here so people can take a look and offer some advice!:T

Your partner is obvoiusly so stressed out with the size of your current mortgage and debt problems that his whole out look will be very blurred. How can anyone be their best and find a new job whilst under so much family pressure. If he is earning 5k a month is obviously is a very talented person...

Post away, sharing your problems on here and receiving advice is great relief in itself!:rotfl: