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Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

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  • Firewalker
    Firewalker Posts: 2,682 Forumite
    Have been reading the ‘Millionaire Women...’ – this is the book I found in my pigeonhole unexpectedly. The book is a number of interviews with women who have started businesses and have been very successful in that – women who have build businesses worth a fortune. In some cases it took decades, in other cases it took five years or even less. But there are several things that these women share; thinking of it, all successful in one or other area of their life people share. These are:

    a. All of them were absolutely determined to succeed – they were not dabbling in things but there were in them neck high and ready to swim or sink.
    b. All of them were open-minded, flexible and eager to learn. They were also not fearful of failure – in fact they considered failure to be a natural part of success.
    c. All these women did what they really love doing – in other words they first found their gifts, and then started thinking how they can make a living applying this gifts.
    d. They all had a dream – but action is what delivered the dream. They just kept going irrespective of what people said.
    e. They all developed the whole package – most are in the ‘self-improvement’ business; they have web-sites, training programmes, books.
    Oh, and they all worked very hard – but even more importantly, they worked very, very smart.

    What is my gift? Do I have a gift at all? And could I lead the family unit to a future of financial health using my gifts? Could this all become play rather than annoyed drudgery?

    And the thought for today is:

    “A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?” – Albert Einstein

    Firewalker
  • Firewalker
    Firewalker Posts: 2,682 Forumite
    Today I was up early and have been working like the devil - did all the things I have been thinking about doing for the last week or so. Mainly to do with writing to people and reminding them to get in touch (all for work which is research). Why am I so apprehensive about getting in touch with people? Particualrly when it is about asking for something?

    I am a magnet for good will and properity!

    Will be getting on a train in about an hour - going to see a close friend and co-author. We have done some research together and in the next three days or so will have to shape some papers.

    This morning I also received some great news - a junior colleague with whom I work (and whom I did teach at PhD level) has been awarded a really prestigeous award. Was there a pang of envy when I heard or a bit of worry for my projects? You bet there was. But three seconds later this overwhelming joy came over me - this is so well done and I am so pleased for him and proud of him. This is how we touch the future - by developing the people of the future.

    OK - now I have to get ready to get on the train.

    Firewalker
  • Firewalker
    Firewalker Posts: 2,682 Forumite
    I am here, I have arrived. What is more interesting is that the train journey was rather un-eventful and comfortable. In fact, having recently been of a train in Germany, I can safely say that the train today was equally comfortable, clean and prompt – comparing second class with second class this is. In Germany on the way back, I went first class and this is something else – but no basis for comparison since have never travelled first class in the UK. Frankly, can’t see the point...

    I am visiting a friend with whom I also write – so this is a work related, writing trip. We have just spent the afternoon discussing the structure of our next paper. Usually when we work together there is so much shouting and arguing (in a very creative way) that the other people in the house leave. We argue not simply about the argument in a paper but also about nearly every work. But today things were somewhat different...We were discussing the idea that we have been toying with for several months now, and looking at the results of the little survey that we carried out. And it was going fine but nothing spectacular until an idea hit me like a lightening – what will happen if we use Marx’s early manuscripts to frame the issues...After that it was all excitement and plain sailing – let it continue till Friday lunch time and beyond.

    Later I will try and write some of the popular book as well – it is very important and while academic writing gives reputation we should remember that even the best papers are read by about two people (there are studies on that). I want to write stuff people read – and like reading.

    Firewalker
  • ninky_2
    ninky_2 Posts: 5,872 Forumite
    regarding successful business women and your mystery book. i don't think i am committed enough to be a successful business woman. i accept this and realise i will possibly be cash poorer as a result but that there are other things in life that make me happy that i'm not prepared to sacrifice.

    i am successful in my own way. i know i have talents but i choose not to direct them in one direction with enough passion and consistency to become truly outstanding. i enjoy too many different things and experiences. possibly i am more hedonistic than you firewalker.
    Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves. - Lord Byron
  • Firewalker
    Firewalker Posts: 2,682 Forumite
    Ninky, you might be right - I am probably a totally repressed hedonist. The thing is - I have not even got to telling you what I have figured out my road is. But one thing is clear to me - it is not being a business woman. Too much constraint for me. But as you have probably already guessed I like to figure things out - so that is why I am reading about these women. Interestingly enough, when reading about scientists who achieved great things for humanity - their stories are fairly similar. They had passion for what they did, were strong-headed enough not to pay attention when people told them they are wrong or wasting their time, and had loads of opportunities - including cultural capital.

    As to the popular book (to distinguish it from the more technical writing I have to do) it is no secret - it is about fitness (one of the areas in which I am very interested and as it turned out one of my four 'protected' wants). Eight years ago my favourite sport was sitting in coffee bars; today I am a long distance runner.

    Have to go now but will write tomorrow.

    Firewalker
  • Firewalker
    Firewalker Posts: 2,682 Forumite
    I do find it trying to be away from home and work intensively. Although my friend and I had a very productive day I am feeling like someone has opened my skull up and is scraping every bit of content out. More specifically, I have headache and have started forgetting simple words as well as using inappropriate words. This, my friends, is tiredness...

    To recover some of my mental energy decided to go for a run. Well I might have as well gone straight in the shower – the moment I left the house the sky opened and rain started pouring down. In fact, within minutes there were rivers flowing down the streets. Just to show this Sothern people here how tough we are in the North I did my run and conquered quite a few hills. Now resting and expecting dinner; this is being prepared as we speak. The gentle aroma of roasted peppers is drifting throughout the house and my mouth is watering...

    Of course I have not spent anything – I am in a small village and was closed in a house all day. But just heard that OH has been spending today – a very little bit on food that we needed (this comes form the food budget) and rather more on some ‘magic’ stuff that the decorator will inject in our windows. This reminds me that I have not mentioned that work started on our house – it did need outside decorating urgently.

    And the thought for the day is:

    “Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.”- Mahatma Gandhi

    Firewalker
  • Firewalker
    Firewalker Posts: 2,682 Forumite
    Today I was having a chat to my friend over breakfast and, as often happens with us since my acute interest in all matters financial was awakened, attention turned to money, spending habits, mortgages, pensions etc. My fiend is not only a trained accountant but also she was the one who last November asked me how much does a pint of milk cost and I couldn’t answer. This same friend, through careful and long term financial planning, and profound understanding of the tax system ensured that she and her partner are really comfortable. Her ambition is to retire in three years at the age of 55.

    I did mention that although I still don’t have a concrete and mapped out plan, my overall financial goal is within five year (or by July 2015) to have 50% of my income as passive income. In other words in five year time half of my income will come from assets and half of it will still come from directly selling my labour. My friend just looked at me and said: “This is very difficult.”

    And she is probably right and achieving this is not a trivial matter. Also, I am very clear that I don’t want to be rich: whatever this might mean. But I have sworn to reach a level of financial health that will ensure that I can spend time with my OH in relative security. This cannot be done by only selling my labour.

    As to a plan, what I am thinking is that there are two distinct ways to achieve that. One is the traditional one that is endorsed by many ‘prosperity’ gurus. According to it one should increase the difference between earnings and expenditure, not safe but invest the difference, and keep moving the accumulated funds. The other is to embody one’s labour in a successful ‘product’. This can be writing a bestseller, designing a training programme, etc. These are not mutually exclusive and the dominant one depends on one’s natural inclination and talents.

    How do we figure out what do we have a talent for?

    Firewalker
  • Firewalker
    Firewalker Posts: 2,682 Forumite
    I am home – and it is great, wonderful and terrific. Visiting friends and working away is OK but it only makes me realise that this is not a house, it is my home; and this makes me even more determined - in a very un-hedonistic manner, I should add – to enjoy it. Painting is going well and the outside is already looking good. Tomorrow we will be going to a large shopping complex (which I have visited three times in ten years) to look at bathroom stuff. Any suggestions as to where one can find high quality but reasonably priced bathroom equipment (shower enclosure with all the rest; toilet, bidet, tiles...) are very welcome.

    On return, I hugged OH, kissed little boy and then put my running shorts and shoes on. And there was little boy – in his running gear, waiting to come with me. What a splendid speed training session this was – and of course he is faster than me, so does me good running with him. Does him good as well, and improves the mother-son relationship and interactions no end. Tomorrow we are running hills and playing tennis. Probably, will have to find a way to involve OH in all this sport and exercise – he needs to be fitter. Lord, it seems I am not only obsessed with controlling money but also with stopping the aging process.

    Remember I have a challenge – to serve three courses French menu dinner to friends for under £1.50 per person. Well, I think I am going to make it but will share the menu on Sunday evening – my friend might be reading this and it will have to be a surprise.

    Now will read to little boy, do the accounts for the week and work out the menu and shopping list for next week.

    And the saying for the day is:

    “The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them.” – Bernard M Baruch

    Firewalker
  • savingholmes
    savingholmes Posts: 28,974 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    still enjoying your writing style - makes me think

    who is the author of the millionaire women book?
    Achieve FIRE/Mortgage Neutrality in 2030
    1) MFW Nov 21 £202K now £174.8K Equity 32.77%
    2) £1.6K Net savings after CCs 14/8/25
    3) Mortgage neutral by 06/30 (AVC £25.3K + Lump Sums DB £4.6K + (25% of SIPP 1.2K) = 31.1/£127.5K target 24.4% 15/8/25
    4) FI Age 60 income target £16.5/30K 55.1%
    5) SIPP £4.8K updated 29/7/25
  • williamD1964
    williamD1964 Posts: 532 Forumite
    Welcome back. Regarding the bathroom stuff, here is a suggestion that is very MSE and used by myself and wife to great effect during the extention work carried out in the last few years. Research is everything so check the online shops, and find out what you really like. Print out the best items and include the price available. Then armed with this, go to local outlets. Now, explain that you have seen these on line, really like the items, but don't like the idea of ordering them, prefer to use local shops etc. Ask them if they can beat or at worse, match the online prices. Believe me, you will get some amazing bargains. And of course, haggle, haggle, haggle

    Hope all is well.
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