Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

savingwannabe

Firewalker i do hope that you enjoy the party. At least you have great equipment and you know for next time that you might be able to borrow items. It sounds like you have learned something to me. Don't worry and enjoy the glorious weather.

Firewalker

Last night we had really great time – after the ‘end of the season’ presentation and disco at the rugby club, OH and I went to see friends we have not seen for a fairly long time. It was as if not a week has passed since we last had a chat and there were moments when I had hiccups from laughing. And the dice has been cast – we have invited these friends to our dinner challenge – three course French meal for under £1.50 per person. This of course doesn’t include the wine.

But...when we came back I still did the accounts for the week; which is telling me that although my thinking has not changed entirely some MSE ways are becoming deeply ingrained. As to the weekly accounts they show that we have spent £128.72 in total of which £73.72 was spent on food and the rest on other regular expenditure. Initially, I was slightly puzzled by the food bill (remember we have a freezer full of meat, chicken and fish as well) but it looks like we over-bought things for lunch (which means that we did not have to buy these for next week) and that we had to buy all the breakfast stuff. Not too bad, anyway.

Now off to pack my running shoes and a change of clothes for little boy – OH can sort himself out.

Firewalker

Firewalker

We are back – after a splendid party and a very hot and sleepless night, we are at home and having a relaxed evening. Little boy had just gone to bed with a book which is a good opportunity to take a bit of time to write.

Amazingly, apart from paying for the B&B (which was budgeted) we spend nothing, absolutely nothing during our weekend away. It was not even planned, we didn’t even have to work on it – it was as natural as breathing. People are right saying that it does take about 12 goes to form a habit (this is where the two weeks come from). And this also is going some way towards achieving our goal of 15 NSDs this month.

Also, I just finished the ‘Nice girls don’t get rich...’ book. Many of the tips offered I either already knew from elsewhere (including this forum) or had managed to work out – which doesn’t mean that the book was not good and useful or that I am so clever. It only means that many of the points regarding controlling money are fairly common sense – I suspect that some kind of conspiracy (possibly male economists) is in action to make finance and economics as difficult, incomprehensible and boring as humanly possible. I suspect that I might end up writing a book entitled ‘Funny finance’ – if it has not been done already.

If I were to summarise the main messages of the ‘Nice girls...’ book though, these would be:

a. Learn to think about the future rather than focusing on the present.
b. Learn all about investing – investing £100 a month can go a long way.
c. Use all your holidays and check all that is offered at work.
d. Learn to ask for what you want not what you think you deserve.
e. Learn to negotiate.
f. Don’t support your grown up children – you are not helping them and it is draining your resources.
g. Calculate your net worth – this is what allows you to see the broad picture and not only a monthly fragment.
h. Set ‘get rich time’ when thinking, reading and researching about finance is done.

I also did an exercise showing in what categories one’s earnings should go. Apparently, the rule is that one should: save 10%+; mortgage can be up to 40%; food 10-20%; personal expenditure up to 10%; and personal debt under 5% (I am leaving some of the categories out; the book is American so there is high percentage on medical but lower than here on home related expenditure). We were not much out on any of the categories – but I did count the loan as part of the mortgage.

Tonight I am starting to read The Secret – which I feel very ambivalent about but so many people have been mentioning it that I am going to have a look.

Hope all was well and a good weekend was had by all. Finally, the saying for today is:

“I believe that banking institutions and more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies.” – Thomas Jefferson

Firewalker

debbiedeejay

Next weekend, though, we are going camping for two nights.

Same here:)

I am taking my family to a family music festival locally and will be camping two nights- yes its basic,look at it as your MSE weekend challenge but take footballs kites water pistols etc and it will be a mini adventure and your little boy will love it.

And for yourself, take a good book and a couple of bottles of wine and a nice rug to pull round you on a evening - lovely!

This is my families only break this year and even though they are teens they absolutely love it - some years ago we tried a eurocamp holiday and they were not keen either.

I saved up and bought my tent last year and borrowed the rest (sleeping bags,airbeds & cooking stuff).This year I have bought a little gas cooker with vouchers given to me at Xmas and a couple of those winged folding chairs) but will have to borrow air beds again though I might take thin duvets this time.

Just a couple of thoughts - practice putting the tent up before you go if you haven't already and take some ear plugs and an eye mask - even if your OH doesn't snore you can't guarantee the people in the next tent don't either - the eye mask might help to keep the early sun waking you up - mind you, not sure about your little one though!

Hope you have a lovely time - enjoy the time with the family.

Firewalker

Debbie, thanks for the tips – all sounds very sensible (particularly practicing with the tent). We are going to borrow a camping stove from friends, the rest we have somehow. Going with some experienced camping people so help will be at hand if needed – and if a shower is needed and not available I’ll have to survive. Little boy so much wants me to go and I am so much trying to change my ways and become more open to different experiences...

Tonight is the night when I want to ask about e-bay. How does anybody sell anything on e-bay? And if it happens what does sell on e-bay? It is not working for us and I would love to hear some real life success stories. We listed a stunningly beautiful black silk evening gown of mine (which still has the label on and is one of the items in my wardrobe I can’t believe I possess) and nothing. OH might be right – this capitalist lark is not working for us. Or it might be that selling stuff is just not our forte...Or shall I say OH forte because I have left him to deal with it.

I started reading The Secret last night. Couple of pages into it I was fast asleep and feeling very suspicious about the whole thing. Why did I buy it you may ask? Well, it appears that even a rationalist like me can reach a point where she/he is prepared to try variety of things. Probably I would still draw the line at ‘witchcraft’ but don’t bet on it...A friend of mine, who is professor in economics and economics likes to present itself as a positive science, was telling me that in a time of crisis a new-age friend of hers developed a ‘mantra’ for her. Surprisingly my friend was using it and finding that it helps – and the drink...

Determined to get to the bottom of The Secret I continued reading it on the bus into work today. Off the bus I was casually thinking ‘I want wealth and I am attracting wealth.’ Guess what? On the bus returning home I found 20 p. Now I never find money...OK I have found money twice before in all my life – and one of these was money I had misplaced in the first place. Do you think this is coincidence or spook? I’ll continue reading, just in case – but have to admit that I find the book deeply annoying.

“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.” – Herbert Hoover

Good night.

Firewalker

williamD1964

hi Firewalker,

Enjoy the camping. As a boy (oh god I am sooooooo old now) I used to love it, as will your son. I was a real boys boy, building camps & hideaways, climbing trees and a real love of the outdoors. Where DID that boy disappear to?

Ebay is a real animal to solve. I have had things that I thought would go for a few quid that died a death, and other things that I thought that no-one would buy that went through the roof. I will say that a good photograph will add £££'s to the value and the views you get. Also, make sure you mention that you are willing to field any questions that potential buyers have and make sure you list in right and/or mutiple areas to maximise your viewers potential. Be patient, plagerise if neccessary (especially useful when selling books, I tend to google the title!) and use a little humour as well. Finally a good set of scales and making sure you don't lose on postage and packaging is vital (been there and dine that too often).

Now...The Secret...I, like you found it very heavy going and am very sceptical. So much so my copy is now about to be listed on ebay.

Firewalker

Good morning William,

Glad you are around – have been checking your tread for an update but nothing coming. Hope you are well and the miscalculation is not ruining your life...When are you off on your holiday?

If you look deep inside you might find that boy still there – he is just buried under years of suppression, stress and seriousness. Find him, give him a bath and run with him – this is what I have been trying to do anyway.

Thanks about the e-bay tips – I have left this area to Husband but probably will need to work together. Meanwhile, I am thinking positive thoughts and carrying on...

Firewalker

Firewalker

Today has been a very mixed one for me. Work was OK although not much explicit progress was made – this translated means that I spend most of the day thinking, reading and figuring things out but not much was written. Not too worried about it though – I am a firm believer in the need for thinking and spending today doing it only means that tomorrow will be highly productive.

Little boy has spend a second day off school with bad tummy – he wakes during the night with it and then in the morning I find him watching TV, curled in a ball. All started on Sunday and I suspect that last Friday he played and did not wash his hands. Anyway, he has been eating only toast for two days now and is getting really hungry. Apart from that, if he is still bad tomorrow we’ll have to make a visit to the GP.

OH and I had a big argument where he got really stroppy; I got a massive headache and ended up writing him a message saying things I had already figured out about my-self but had sharing. There were tears – and I cry once in five years or so. I might be getting old and mellowing but wouldn’t count on it. And of course it was about money – more specifically about not spending it and making it. It was all about deciding whether to spend approximately £350 per month for the next 12 months on a company that will be promoting OH’s website to the search engines – in my view a waste of time and money. Might be wrong on this one but it seems to me that there is no way for this to work since these companies make money by promoting all websites prepared to pay; and they do that by manipulating search engines. I would rather go for a much slower but solid type of promotion. Oh well...this is a lot of money we don’t exactly have. If I am to be convinced it will have to be by using arguments expressed in a language that I understand – not in techno-speak that will confuse even Mr Spock.

Nothing better for stress than a four miler in the heath – lovely! So now I also have insect bites.

Have persisted reading The Secret and do you know what I think? I feel highly dubious about the whole thing. But I also feel like ‘the proletariat’ in Marxist theory: I have nothing to lose but my chains. So what the hell? To quote Eminem ‘Success is my only mother****ing option; failure is not.’ There are three things in the book that strike a chord: a) we mostly think and talk about what we don’t want instead of focusing on what we want; b) deciding what we want and embracing the want helps us to see opportunities; and c) negativism feeds on negativism and breeds negativism.

And thought for the day is:

“My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.” – Michel de Montaigne

Good night and tomorrow I might attempt to re-write the whole song by Eminem. As a taster ‘Hubby, I love you but this debt is got to go, I cannot live long in the bank’s pocket...’. Who knows – rap might be my true calling, not philosophy.

Firewalker

Choc-addict

I've heard mixed reviews of The Secret - I must admit i've not really read/looked into it. I think a lot of people have taken what they want from it but not all....not for me I think.

Camping is SO much fun, even at 31 I am loving it and just come back from a weekends camping in the New Forest. If you pick the right sites you can have a fab time. We tend to stay away from those with pools, club bar etc...not our cup of tea but suits some. I really hope you have a fab time! As for the showers, i've been to some sites that have better showers/toilets then some hotels i've stayed in....:eek: Look forward to hearing all about it

savingwannabe

Oh Firewalker i am sure once everyone has cooled down the best decision will be made. I do hope DS feels better today. Stay strong. My dear friend Mouseann has had marvellous news, all of her debt has been sorted by our friend Mr NID in his legal way. She can carry on with her life free from Hegelian shackles or in this case, nasty bankers!!!!

Focus on the camping and being happy with family and jogging. Freedom!!!!