Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

Firewalker

I am home again! Got up at 6.40 Italian time (5.40 British time) this morning, had breakfast, shower, packed and went downstairs to meet the lads (two younger colleagues who work with me and work on my projects). Got in a taxi and about 25 min later we were at the Airport; and I was at the wrong terminal. Thank goodness the right terminal was only about 2 min walk away from the one I found myself in. Was feeling so tired that I slept on both flights; my Kindle was on the blink anyway so could not read (as it turned out it was not on the blink but the battery finished; I think I left it connected to the wireless or something).

Seeing Little Boy and OH at the Airport was grand; taking a shower at home was sublime. Now relaxing and reading a bit.

Speak later.

Firewalker

savingwannabe

Hooray welcome back. Bet they are soo happy you are back. The days are getting brighter but distinctly chilly. Am tidying

Nym_Mcfroglet

se999 wrote: »

I think it depends on your own personal idea of what try means. For our family it means a term we grabbed from contract law, there's a term there called 'best endeavours'. Which for us means that we look to make the best effort possible, in the end even if we don't get to the original expected outcome, you haven't failed because you've optimised the situation and could haven't done more.

Admittedly this applies more to the 'biggies' in life. Everyone uses 'try' when they don't have all the information, e.g. standard phrases like "I'll look at my diary and try to fit you in next week". So it has different meanings in different contexts.

Maybe appreciating the different meanings in the context would work just as well as just avoiding using a specific word

I like this, when someone picks apart a word to look at why we use it, it's a good word isn't it! I think I use it to weasel out of things. Or when I don't know as you say if I have enough information.

I like to follow the phrase I was once given, that if you're agonising over a decision then don't make it as you've not got all the information around it yet. As soon as you do have all the pieces there isn't a decision to make, you know where you're going. Perhaps try is like that. That sort of balancing at the edge of the precipice. Is 'try' our parachute that can catapult us back up?

<~~~ Returns to lurkdom

Firewalker

It is seriously nice to sleep in your bed, on your pillow, near your people. Now sitting here, struggling with the menu and the shopping list.

Forgot to mention that yesterday I had my nails done; no more acrylic nails (they really did not my make heart sing but instead mad me feel so cheap) but nice manucure. We shall see how it goes; meanwhile if someone out there know how to stop nails from peeling by diet, supplements and other measures within the range of possibility (and acceptability) I would love to hear.

How nice my nails are is not what I really wanted to say though; what I wanted to say is that I still feel guilty as hell (the guilt seaps through the general pattern of hedonistic abandonment) for spending anything on me. Good thing we have the 'I am so worth it' part of the budget now; otherwise I can see how life can become really grim and a real drag. And I still believe that life is to be lived not to be survived. This pot is paying for the holiday at the end of February as well which at the moment is difficult to call 'skiing' - since there does not seem to be enough snow. It might turn out to be simply a mountain holiday or 'sitting next to the fire, reading books and doing nothing' holiday. We shall see...Bottom line is that once spending has been rained in it can go the other way and it is very easy to forget that there are things that give so much pleasure and do cost a bit of money (reminder: there are many things that give lots of pleasure and cost nothing or very little). Planning such things, budgetting for them is a good idea...

Beck to the menu and the shopping list now. Little Boy has been torn away from his knitting to go to rugby - he love doing rugby as well.

Firewalker

Aesop

Firewalker, I save my Boots ACM points to buy DS nappies and things he needs. Last time I was in I had £9 and DS wanted 2 toys, that cost more than £9, I was talking to the SA and saying I will take one toy for DS and leave the other one.

She said to me, spend the points on yourself, buy yourself something nice, makeup, etc. I said I don't wear much makeup, and don't need any new stuff at the mo. I used to do the Boots Glitches so have sooooooooooooo much stuff already.

But she was right, I should have kept saving the points and treated myself to something. But I don't think like that. Even today DH was saying DS has a giftcard for next for £30, I haven't spent it yet, and DH said to me, I need new jeans, spend it on me. I said no, it is for DS and he needs clothes, well trousers anyway, he is so skinny! Everything falls down without a belt. DH said don't I need clothes? I said yes I know you need clothes, but.....

In my mind I was thinking he earns money too, he can spend less on himself, ie drink and save it and buy clothes, not take money away from DS. Was I wrong?

About your nails, Almond Oil, you can buy it from Body Shop. You massage a couple of drops into your cuticules every night and it will make your nails stronger and stop them peeling, etc.

Firewalker

Hi Aesop,

the story you shared is worthy of your new name - a modern day fable. However, you will have to learn to treat yourself to things now and again as well. Not so sure about OH, though - on this one I would agree with you. With a bit of a twist...

The way this can work depends on how you organise your household finances - for us there has never been any doubt that a joint bank account where all earnings go will be IT. Have many friends who keep there earning separate and then agree to transfer proportions to a joint aco!!!! etc. Given that we have a joint account for earning what we did so that some fun for each of us and for us together is factored in is that now we have what I call 'I am so worth it' account: every month about 7% of what we earn (all earnings regular and extraordinary) goes there. The rule is that this account has to be zeroed every month (or close to). It payes for my nails, for OH's rare techie stuff and he is yet to decide what 'makes his heart sing', for going to shows (not done yet but shall be) etc. Still hard but works better than if the budget is kept in one account; in this case fun falls off the wagon any time. And I suspect it is not only money either - we have been working so hard for so long that spontanious fun has been forgotten; hence we have to plan for it.

In fact, having fun of different kinds and relaxing is part of my next 98 day challenge.

Firewalker

Firewalker

Today has been a day of rest and it is Sunday after all. All my attempts to get out of the doing the menu, the shopping and the shopping list failed – menu done and shopping done; spend slightly under £34 on what we need for the week. Last week, while I was away OH had to spend £2.50 more; for yogurt and something else but I have forgotten what this other thing is.

We are not doing too badly moneywise but I am getting worried. My concerns are mainly that we are doing very well on the saving bit but have not moved forward on the earning more bit. Well, we shall see…I read somewhere that if one is to make any money writing one needs three years or so.

Also tonight I made for dinner something I had in Rome. It is a pizza but there is no tomato on the base – only a bit of olive oil and mozzarella. After it is baked (for about 10-12 minutes at 220 C) it is served with rocket salad, Parma ham and parmesan cheese on. It is simply lovely – and very filling.

Good night for now.

Firewalker

Firewalker

Last night we went to the cinema and saw Black Swan. Wow! It is strange but only because it is a thinking movie – which kind of breaks the tradition of mindless entertainment established by Hollywood. This movie is not exactly entertaining but it gives so much pleasure – intellectual and esthetic. Well worth seeing.

I am still in a panic – have to give an invited paper on Thursday and it is still not finished; for that matter it is hardly started. A colleague and a friend send me a message today simply saying: ‘Don’t panic. You have done it before and you will do it again!’. But what if it doesn’t work this time, what if I can’t do it this time…Oh well, one can only do their best within the time. And if I have to say what I have learned it will be the following: in the future ensure that you do not take on more than you can comfortably accomplish to the high standard you expect of yourself. And watch for perfection paralysis…

I was also thinking today about the lack of reflection that we all are prone to some or even most of the time. How many will claim that they love books and that is why are not very keen on electronic readers? But then one should ask whether what we like is books or paper. Because let face it a book is a book irrespective of whether one read it on paper or on electronic device. Interesting, eh?

And the financial news is that all arrangements have been made to ‘normalise’ our affairs after all the expenditure on building work, decoration and furniture (bathroom cabinets, mirrors, lights, blinds etc.). Also we have enacted the three accounts – current for basic living; ‘we are so worth it’ for what makes our hearts sing and investments/nest account which is not to be touched for anything than investments of course. And we counted the money in the coins jar that we started at the beginning of December – there is £18.37 in it. How wonderful.

Good night and keep well everyone. Tomorrow will rock!

Firewalker

InaPickle

Firewalker wrote: »

I was also thinking today about the lack of reflection that we all are prone to some or even most of the time. How many will claim that they love books and that is why are not very keen on electronic readers? But then one should ask whether what we like is books or paper. Because let face it a book is a book irrespective of whether one read it on paper or on electronic device. Interesting, eh?

Firstly, best of luck with the paper. I'm sure you will get there, but it might get stressful before you do!

Secondly, I read something about the idea of books. Firstly, there is a book, the ideas which are contained within the pages, which are, as you quite rightly mentioned, the same whether they are absorbed from a page or a screen.

However, there is also the book, the object. This is the physical object in which the ideas are contained. And it is to this that people become attached: the feel of the cover, the grainy feel of the pages between your finger as you turn them, the weight of the volume in your hands, the smell of older volumes, the look of them, even. These things are not as well replicated in electronic books, are more standardised, and also often harder on eyes which already spend so much time looking at shining screens.

These are the things which make us love books as much as objects are for the ideas they convey, and what makes it harder for those used to them to give up the object rather than the ideas.

Personally, I'm the same with essays: whenever I was trying to edit an essay at uni, I prefered to print it off, edit it on paper and then retype it on screen. It went against my 'save the planet' philosophy, but somehow it just goes into my brain better from a page rather than a screen. I think that my generation will be the last one to work this way, though, as we are the inbetweeners in terms of computers and the written page, and I bet that today's children don't have any issues with editing their essays on the computer!

ladyfox

I've just found your diary and am working my way through from the beginning. It's wonderful!! Unfortunately, I have spent the evening reading it instead of opening the dreaded post, which was my goal for the evening (haven't opened post for about a year, as I was ignoring the bills - or more accurately, the numbers at the bottom). Tbh I think I am now just going to throw away most of it and only deal with the last month's worth....I need to be free from it's shackles (and start using my cupboards again for more useful things)! Will have to wait until tomorrow now as I'm too tired and delivering a training session in the morning (yuk). I'll be reading more tomorrow.....thank you!