Not sure if OS - 50th birthday party

rkh001

I am organising a surprise birthday party for OH and inviting his friends from his RAF days that he has lost touch with.

Few things I am not sure about and need some help with...

I am making the invitation cards myself - do you think it is tacky to use his picture at the front of the card? Should I opt for something simpler and just have something like "SHHHH"?

Another thing - I would like people to bring a picture or two, or write a little something that reminds them fondly of OH as a present so that I can prepare a "Memories Book" for him. Do you think it would be okay to ask people to do that?

Finally, I am happy to pay for the buffet and the first drink and the champers at the end but I don't want to pay for all the other drinks that people will be having. How do I put this on the card?

Any advice/help will be much appreciated.

Chipps

Hi
If you feel that it is tacky to use the picture, then don't! The Shhhh idea is fine, as it makes it clear that this is a secret.
People generally are quite happy to contribute to memories books, some friends recently celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary & their daughters asked for this sort of thing to make a book for their parents - they absolutely loved it. Could you suggest that people bring copies of photos, rather than the original, as they may not want to part with them.
Re the drinks, could you suggest people bring a bottle? Or are you having a bar? As the presents you are suggesting (ie the contributions for the memories book) are either free or very little cost, people would probably not mind paying for the drinks. If it is a bar, I am not sure how this would be worded on the invitation, as this isn't something we have done.

annie-c

Sounds like a lovely idea. A photo card would be lovely, but the shhh! also nice. If the photo was of him sleeping, maybe as a baby, then you could use both ideas...?

The Memory book also sounds like a lovely idea - you will need to let guests know whether to send these in advance or whether you will have a table with an open Scrap Book for them to stick in their bits and bobs and add messages on the night....

What sort of venue are you using? If you are using a hired place with a cash bar then I would mention this. Say something like ' A buffet and soft drinks will be provided and a bar will be available at the venue' (and leave the champagne/first drink as a surprise if you can manage it) If I were going to a party I would expect to be buying the host a drink and would just be pleased by anything else that was offered.) Equally, mention if you would like them to bring a bottle.

Maybe you could mention the memory book/drinks issues in a separate note that is tucked into the invitation, along with details of the venue, a map or travel instructions for those coming for a distance?

Lucie_2

If there's a bar at the venue I would just write "cash bar" somewhere on the invitation.
If there's no bar available, then I'd just write bring a bottle.

The memories book is a lovely idea & most people would be more than happy to help out I would imagine. So much more personal than a probably useless & unwanted/needed gift!
For my Aunt's 50th she specified "no gifts please" on the invitation; despite this, most people still turned up with a token something or other. I think people still feel it is polite to give a gift if you've been invited, even if it is only a few old photos & memories.

rkh001

' A buffet and soft drinks will be provided and a bar will be available at the venue'

I like that Annie. I will use that. I am still thinking about whether I should ask people to send me the memories or bring them along with them.

Also, quite a few people will be coming a long way so I am going to try and negotiate a decent room rate with the hotel where we are having the party. I do hope that nearly every one turns up as I think that as OH hasn't seen some people for nearly 23 yrs, I'll be great for him to make contact again.