In shock - please advise...

CLAPTON

the absolute basics before one can even start to make any real recommendations are:

what is your family income ?

what is your actual spending (exclude non mortgage debts)
(includes EVERYTHING you spend monthly and all those yearly, quarterly and oneoffs (divide by 12 for yearly or one-offs etc and add to the SoA) and yes this include petrol, clothes, holidays, going out, haircuts , car tax, MOT, servicing, RAC/AA, emergency fund, magazines, house spending, garden, presents, xmas,food/groceries ....everything

what is your minimum debt repayments

what is your total debt

value of house and amount of mortgage

any other special situations.



sorry you need to supply most of the above before any meaningful advice can be offered.....take your time but absolutely vital for you and anyone offering advice.

mandleberry

elizw wrote:

you dont say how old you are but it might be possible to remortgage depending on OH health and as long as your credit rating has remained ok - never get behind with the repayments to keep it good

- to get rid of all the debts except the other business overdraft (they total about 22000 may put up to 150 on the mortgage at a guess - but better than all that worry over credit cards -

another job at weekends or evenings may be necessary - rent out any spare rooms to anyone - write down every penny you spend - give up sky definitely - dont buy newspapers biscuits sweets etc - also things like fabric conditioner once a week total over £1000 over 20 years

and another look at his business outgoings - what sort of business is it

Remortgaging might be difficult - he's 58, I'm 53.

I'm in a quandary about evening/weekend work - I'm spending every spare moment decorating our house with a view to future sale - we certainly wouldn't maximize our price if I left it as it is!

Am trying to persuade OH to give up Sky - have been suggesting a freeview box for ages but it "doesn't have all the right channels".

Never buy newspapers, magazines, sweets, biscuits, fabric conditioner, etc.
Business outgoings are minimal - he has no equipment loans or anything like that - the standing orders are all things we couldn't do without - small life assurance, National Ins, Accountant's fee (paid monthly for ease) and that's it.

mandleberry

CLAPTON wrote:

Sorry you need to supply most of the above before any meaningful advice can be offered.....take your time but absolutely vital for you and anyone offering advice.

Thanks Clapton - I need to sit down and work all this out - will post when I have. I realise that this is necessary - I think that last night when I first posted I was in a state of desparation and just needed to call for help without thinking things through too clearly!

tyllwyd

I added up all the monthly outgoings you listed, and they came to £1048. You say you earn £640 per month and your OH takes cash out of the business 'as he needs it'. But as things stands, it looks as if he needs to take a minimum of £408 out of the business each month just to clear the direct debits, then you have got food, clothes etc on top.

I think if you are going to have any chance of sorting this out, you need to sit down with your OH and work out exactly how much money is coming into his business, how much he is taking out - and whether there is any chance of him earning enough to pay for the bills and also start paying back some of the debts. If not, you are going to have to take some tough decisions about what to do next, and whether he can carry on with his business.

If all your money is tied up in equity in the house, but he needs the space to carry on his business ... but the business is losing money, I think you need to take a good hard look at whether downsizing and closing the business would be the practial option. I guess that would be a tough one, because at 58 I don't suppose your OH is going to find it easy to find a different job, so giving up the business would be a big blow to him.

elizw

I had a similar situation and you need to get tough - if you cant afford sky then he cant have it - if his business is crap then he needs to diversify or get a full time job - no more excuses - you didnt say what sort of business it is - and you also need to stop making excuses and get a job which could bring in £1000 a month (sorry to sound mean) decorate at the weekends - you need to cover your lving bills - once that is done then play businesses and decorating.

Also if you have a mortgage then you could at least have a look at remortgaging - (i work in a bank) you dont have to go through with it if it is not acceptable but you could sort your finances out that way (our minimum mortgage was 5 years -

sorry to sound mean but if you dont get tough this will drag on and get worse

elizw

ps. cut up the credit cards

mandleberry

elizw wrote:

I had a similar situation and you need to get tough - if you cant afford sky then he cant have it - if his business is crap then he needs to diversify or get a full time job - no more excuses - you didnt say what sort of business it is - and you also need to stop making excuses and get a job which could bring in £1000 a month (sorry to sound mean) decorate at the weekends - you need to cover your lving bills - once that is done then play businesses and decorating.

Also if you have a mortgage then you could at least have a look at remortgaging - (i work in a bank) you dont have to go through with it if it is not acceptable but you could sort your finances out that way (our minimum mortgage was 5 years -

sorry to sound mean but if you dont get tough this will drag on and get worse

I totally take your point, and I don't think you are being mean. Tough measures are called for. Will look at the mortgage situation - how likely is it, though, that we will be looked at favourably with such awful figures from his business for the last few years?

As for getting a job that pays £1000 a month - we live in an area of low paid mainly part-time seasonal jobs (unless you're a lawyer/teacher/doctor) and I'm lucky to have the one I've got. I am constantly on the lookout for something better but quite honestly they don't exist in this locality. Most jobs pay the minimum wage or just above. OH and I are going to sit down together as soon as possible - he has agreed to this but we have visitors in the house over the weekend so the timing is difficult - and the question of Sky is high on the list! I am having to tread carefully - getting him to acknowledge the problem is a huge milestone (he's from the "something always turns up" school of thought) and I tuly feel I have to take this a step at a time with him. I know, I know - but the relationship is important too and I can't rush this - much as I personally want to.

I really appreciate your comments - thank you.

Lindylou54

Hi Mandleberry

I found myself in much the same position last October, but my husband closed the business, got himself a job, it is very long hours but the pay is often £2000 per month. He is 58 and I am 55, we are currently only able to pay interest only on our mortgage. However, I took over all the finances, cancelled Sky (much to his disgust), cut up the credit cards, and moved them all to no interest or low interest for life of balance. It has been a total culture shock as I had no idea, I had always been good with money. We had no household debt as I had always run the home budget. Our relationship has been rocky for the last nine months, but getting better now. We now are in a situation where we can see things being paid off, I don't know where we will be when we retire, but things can't get any worse.

elizw

When you get into this situation - you cant think straight - thats why he may need to be told what to do . my husband is 55 also in the "something will turn up" club and he had been considering his next move for some months while our financial situation was getting worse. I got tough cause he needed to face up to reality. Now he has a paid job with paid holidays and paid tax and National Insurance - he has not had a headache in six months and is working on his own things in the evenings and at weekends. and we can pay the bills.

I dont know about your mortgage - it is just worth a look - Best contact your own mortgager provider first - but I think building societies are always better than banks. You have plenty of equity and a low mortgage - but you will still need to pay the higher monthly payments and you will still need a bigger income. You would need to speak to a mortgage adviser who would be able to advise you on the best thing to do. If this is not an option how will you pay off your debts without increasing your income. Is the job you have part time - if so another part time job will make up the money - supermarkets always want people.

sanfrancisco

It's not just older husbands who reside in the "something will turn up club", it's young ones too!!!