Brown threatens to get violent - step outside posh boy !!!!

Spartacus_Mills

A simply brilliant April Fools article.

It even fooled the brains at Politicalbetting.com for a while.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/gallery/2010/apr/01/labour-gordon-brown-campaign-posters?picture=361041597

This quote really made me laugh.

"The prospect of a physical fight involving Brown and Cameron has played very well with pre-election focus groups"

In an audacious new election strategy, Labour is set to embrace Gordon Brown's reputation for anger and physical aggression, presenting the prime minister as a hard man, unafraid of confrontation, who is willing to take on David Cameron in "a bare-knuckle fistfight for the future of Britain", the Guardian has learned.

Following months of allegations about Brown's explosive outbursts and bullying, Downing Street will seize the initiative this week with a national billboard campaign portraying him as "a sort of Dirty Harry figure", in the words of a senior aide. One poster shows a glowering Brown alongside the caption "Step outside, posh boy," while another asks "Do you want some of this?"
Brown aides had worried that his reputation for volatility might torpedo Labour's hopes of re-election, but recent internal polls suggest that, on the contrary, stories of Brown's testosterone-fuelled eruptions have been almost entirely responsible for a recent recovery in the party's popularity. As a result, the aide said, Labour was "going all in", staking the election on the hope that voters will be drawn to an alpha-male personality who "is prepared to pummel, punch or even headbutt the British economy into a new era of jobs and prosperity".
Strategists are even understood to be considering engineering a high-profile incident of violence on the campaign trail, and are in urgent consultations on the matter with John Prescott, whose public image improved in 2001 after he punched an egg-throwing protester.

Possible confrontations under discussion include pushing Andrew Marr out of the way while passing him on a staircase, or thumping the back of Jeremy Paxman's chair so hard that he flinches in shock.

One tactic being discussed involves provoking a physical confrontation at one of the three ground-breaking TV debates between the candidates. In this scenario, Brown, instead of responding to a point made by Cameron, would walk over from his microphone with an exaggerated silent display of self-control, bring his face to within an inch of the Tory leader's, and in a subdued voice, ask "what did you just say?", before delivering a single well-aimed blow to his opponent's face, followed by a headlock if required.

The bloodied and bruised Cameron could then be whisked to a nearby hospital, where a previously briefed team of doctors and nurses would demonstrate the efficiency and compassion of the NHS under a Labour government.
Saatchi & Saatchi, the agency behind the poster campaign, are also considering reworked posters from classic movies, casting Brown as The Gordfather, the Terminator, and "Mr Brown" from Reservoir Dogs, or perhaps linking him to Omar Little, the merciless killer in the TV series The Wire, in order to burnish the prime minister's "gangsta" credentials. Another set of designs appropriates the current Conservative anti-Brown poster campaign, employing adapted slogans such as: "I took billions from pensions. Wanna make something of it?"

The Brown team has been buoyed by focus group results suggesting that an outbreak of physical fighting during the campaign, preferably involving bloodshed and broken limbs, could re-engage an electorate increasingly apathetic about politics. They also hope they can exploit the so-called "Putin effect", and are said to be exploring opportunities for Brown to be photographed killing a wild animal, though advisers have recommended that weather, and other considerations, mean Brown should not remove his shirt.
Labour further hopes to "harness the power of internet folksourcing", the aide explained, encouraging supporters to design their own posters, which could then be showcased online. The "design your own poster" initiative has caught the imagination of Downing Street strategists, the aide said, because it is cheap, fosters engagement among voters and, above all, nothing could possibly go wrong with it.

For their part, Conservative strategists are said to be troubled by internal research suggesting that several members of the shadow cabinet – including Cameron and George Osborne – would in fact not "come here and say that" if challenged by Brown, instead turning pale and running away, or arranging for an older brother to wait outside the Houses of Parliament to attack him when he is least expecting it.

Let's face it, one eye or not, there would only be one winner.

Pete111

Spartacus_Mills wrote: »

A simply brilliant April Fools article.

It even fooled the brains at Politicalbetting.com for a while.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/gallery/2010/apr/01/labour-gordon-brown-campaign-posters?picture=361041597

This quote really made me laugh.

"The prospect of a physical fight involving Brown and Cameron has played very well with pre-election focus groups"


Let's face it, one eye or not, there would only be one winner.

Love it!!

Agree Cameron would indeed run for the hills but would back Hague against Gordo - think he is/was into Martial arts?

StevieJ

Pete111 wrote: »

Love it!!

Agree Cameron would indeed run for the hills but would back Hague against Gordo - think he is/was into Martial arts?

Probably because he picked on at school

Spartacus_Mills

Pete111 wrote: »

Love it!!

Agree Cameron would indeed run for the hills but would back Hague against Gordo - think he is/was into Martial arts?

Could you imagine Eric Pickles taking Prescott on in a Sumo contest !!!!

Pete111

Spartacus_Mills wrote: »

Could you imagine Eric Pickles taking Prescott on in a Sumo contest !!!!

Surely Somes is the Sumo Grandmaster in waiting....

Pete111

Shame Paddy Ashdown isnt still an MP - loved that story a few years back re him disarming/arresting a mugger who probably didn't quite realise he was picking on an ex-SBS officer!!

Spartacus_Mills

Pete111 wrote: »

Surely Somes is the Sumo Grandmaster in waiting....

Ah, I was forgetting old Bunter Soames.

How about a tag team - Soames and Pickles versus Prescott and Brown.

Sir_Humphrey

It even fooled the brains at Politicalbetting.com for a while.

Why doesn't that surprise me?

Spartacus_Mills

Sir_Humphrey wrote: »

Why doesn't that surprise me?

Because you are a patronising twonk ?

Sir_Humphrey

Spartacus_Mills wrote: »

Because you are a patronising twonk ?

Takes one to know one, old bean. :beer:

Spartacus_Mills

Sir_Humphrey wrote: »

Takes one to know one, old bean. :beer:

My point proved. Cheers. :rotfl:

Actually the PB bunch were at a drinks evening last night. I never went as I had a curry night somewhere else. So excess alcohol may have had a part in it. However the PB bunch always offer interesting comment and insight.

http://www2.politicalbetting.com/index.php/archives/2010/04/01/i-assume-that-this-is-an-april-fool/