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Help for the Desperate
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Suffol
Posts: 45 Forumite


Am feeling desperate about cutting back on food-costs - looking for advice. We've recently fallen on pretty hard times, with OH going back into education & family budget cut back massively. Now needing to shave as much as possible off everywhere to try to save for things like holidays / Christmas. Currently spending 'bout £470 / month on food& household stuff, and am sure we can save some on the budget.
We have some - er - challenges. Family is -me + OH. Faddy elderly mother. Two ravenous teenage boys + faddy teenage girl. Problems are I work long hours in remote location = zero access to cheap shops. Too kn***ered when I get home (after 8pm, most nights) to go looking for cheap bargains at local supermarkets, or to cook tasty nutritious meals. We eat loads of beans + baked potatoes and spag bol, but the kids get bored with this and would eat pizza every night. Daughter eats loads of salad but is worryingly skinny. Elderly mother cooks for herself, early in evening, but no-one else will eat what she likes - turnip and liver features regularly. OH is studying & doing freelance work & hates cooking. Everyone moans when I try to drop a brand. OH is useless at shopping. I spend all weekend catching up on housework & never mastered cooking myself anyway. Used to eat loads of M&S stuff (ready meals :eek:) but never go there now for obvious reasons. I now do a lot of online shopping from Tesco, and usually manage to recover delivery charges with codes but no-one else delivers around where we live, and there's no Aldi and only a small LIDL.
Only bright spot is that we have ravenous dog - no waste - and that once OH starts working again, more cash will be available.
I feel quite desperate, inadequate, and heartily sick of elderly mother droning on about how she fed the whole family for £2 a week in the fifties and why can't I do the same? (I love her really...) Any advice....Please!
We have some - er - challenges. Family is -me + OH. Faddy elderly mother. Two ravenous teenage boys + faddy teenage girl. Problems are I work long hours in remote location = zero access to cheap shops. Too kn***ered when I get home (after 8pm, most nights) to go looking for cheap bargains at local supermarkets, or to cook tasty nutritious meals. We eat loads of beans + baked potatoes and spag bol, but the kids get bored with this and would eat pizza every night. Daughter eats loads of salad but is worryingly skinny. Elderly mother cooks for herself, early in evening, but no-one else will eat what she likes - turnip and liver features regularly. OH is studying & doing freelance work & hates cooking. Everyone moans when I try to drop a brand. OH is useless at shopping. I spend all weekend catching up on housework & never mastered cooking myself anyway. Used to eat loads of M&S stuff (ready meals :eek:) but never go there now for obvious reasons. I now do a lot of online shopping from Tesco, and usually manage to recover delivery charges with codes but no-one else delivers around where we live, and there's no Aldi and only a small LIDL.
Only bright spot is that we have ravenous dog - no waste - and that once OH starts working again, more cash will be available.
I feel quite desperate, inadequate, and heartily sick of elderly mother droning on about how she fed the whole family for £2 a week in the fifties and why can't I do the same? (I love her really...) Any advice....Please!
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Comments
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You're spending a flipping VAST amount on your groceries a month but you won't be able to cut it down without the cooperation of the rest of the family. First, I think you need to enlist the help of your children and your husband with your housework routine at the weekends so you have the time and energy to batch-cook meals for the rest of the week. Next, I would enlist the help of your mother to meal-plan even if you don't want to make everything that she does for herself. She obviously has the skills so you should exploit them. I can't help you with the faddy eaters because I have no time or patience for them: if they're not paying for their own housekeeping then they should be eating what you serve or they buy and cook their own meals.
Can you send your kids, your OH or your mother out to scout for reduced items. Sometime I think it's not necessarily about getting your hands on whoopsies or special offers but planning for the week ahead based on what you've got.
Maybe the first thing to so is to get everything out of the cupboards and make an inventory. Most of us have the makings of loads of meals stocked away it's just that we're not paying attention. Working long hours and having to come home late in the evening to get started on cooking a dinner will do that to you.0 -
While I don't mind an occasional brand favourite from my household I don't even entertain it if the cost is too high. I tell them exactly the cost and just how much I could buy for the same price, that usually makes them think. I am with BitterandTwisted , use the resource of your mums knowledge.
If you are out working and doing the cooking they all should be covering the housework, methinks it's time to kick butt babe and pull your troupes into line.
Sending hugs by the way, you sound fed up with it all."To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill" Sun Tzu0 -
Good advice - thanks. I have started going through cupboards, but this turned out more depressing than anything else as I threw away masses of stuff from the last ten years of careless shopping (tinned artichoke bottoms dated BB 2002 anyone?!). Not started on the freezer yet, which is stuffed with unidentified things in plastic bags that I daren't risk defrosting in case they come to life and consume me...
Aged mother is very full of good advice, but all her recipe books seem to be dated c.1945 and feature dried eggs and tripe recipes & she has extreme distrust of microwave. She still makes a mean victoria sponge, but man cannot live by cake alone... She recently caved in and now has meals on wheels at lunchtime
I know (really) that pre-planning and cooking ahead in large batches are the way to go, but just don't know where to start with recipes & quantities - I thought 2lb of cheap mince would do tonight and tomorrow as a spag bol padded out with lots of veg, but somehow almost all has gone, and the best it'll do tomorrow is for my own lunch at work! None of my pans are big enough and until I'm more confident with my cooking I don't want to risk wasting ingredients costs on stuff everyone hates (where's the 'vomit' icon when you need it?!).
I know this board is a fantastic resource - can anyone point me to threads where there's good guidance on foolproof recipes and batch quantities / cooking times etc?
Very grateful for all advice (and thanks for hugs - you're right i AM sick of it all).
Chris0 -
Suffol, I`m with you on the `sick of doing it all` and the `faddy eaters` bit. Do you have a slow-cooker? If not, I suggest you make this a priority, and get a large one. I`m willing to bet that the `unidentified` stuff in your freezer would do a nice meal in a slow cooker. I get this Creative Blitz with freezer contents sometimes, and it gets eaten. Throw in some garlic and olive oil, some herbs and a glug of any old leftover wine (or a shot of vinegar, that`s worked for me!) and invent an exotic name for it...
Also, you say none of your pans are big enough. My best Biggies are from car-boot sales, and the car-boot season is just starting up now, if you can`t attend send one of your dear family to scout for some -preferably the ones with out long handles so you can use them in oven as well as on hob.
You say you aren`t confident with your cooking... I can identify with that one too, as my late hubby was a fantastic cook, I was happy to let him get on with it, didn`t even realise that over the years I was getting so `de-skilled`, or thought I was. And my family thought so too. When he got ill I had to pick up the traces, and when he died I had to carry on, and I just got TOO darn good at doing it, so now I`ve got a bunch of faddy `can`t/won`t`cook or `don`t like` non-participants in the running of this household. I counter this by doing a decent meal, using as much fresh veg as possible, it`s take it or leave it, but what`s left is zapped into acceptable/accepted soups/stews/spag bol mixes, frozen and used, plus I keep a good stock of baked beans/eggs/pasta/ thin sliced ham/wraps for those who want to refuse all and go DIY.0 -
Good advice - thanks. I have started going through cupboards, but this turned out more depressing than anything else as I threw away masses of stuff from the last ten years of careless shopping (tinned artichoke bottoms dated BB 2002 anyone?!).
Chris
NOOOOOOO!
Get that stuff right back out of the bin immediately! There will be nothing wrong with unopened jars and tins past the "best-before" date. Honestly, I guarantee it. I just used a tin of pineapple that was TEN YEARS past the best-before date a couple of weeks ago and it was absolutely fine. It could have been in a less-than-premium state but I threw it in the bottom of a sponge-cake mixture just as an excuse to use it up and it tasted absolutely fine to me. I'd eat your artichoke hearts in a heartbeat, Those best-before dates are a rough guide to when the product is guaranteed to be at its best, not a "chuck-it-out-or-it'll-kill-you" date.
Also, I can't believe you had TWO POUNDS of ground meat and used it in just one meal. A healthy person needs no more than 4 ounces of meat a day and that excludes protein from eggs, dairy products and nuts and pulses.
You should cut those faddy eaters' rations right down right away and if they want to eat biscuits they should get a shift on and bake some themselves and your mum can supervise them doing it it before you get home from work. In fact, I think you should put your foot down and tell your kids and your OH that you expect them to have done any tidying up and washing up that needs doing and they should get the dinner started by the time you get home. You're bringing in the wage so you shouldn't be everyone's handmaiden and bottlewasher as well. DEMAND some support, you deserve it!
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If they'll happily eat pizza every night then let 'em. As your part, batch bake loads of pizza bases on a weekend - should be well cheap with basics flour. (You really don't need special bread flour). Then stick 'em in the freezer. Keep plenty of cheap tomato puree in the house and the cheapest frozen veg you can find, and they can make the pizzas up for themselves as they go along.
If they want fancier ingredients as pizza toppings then let them contribute to the grocery shopping, or they can get gardening and produce you lovely herbs and home-grown tomatoes. (And buy the seeds themselves too.) And when the basics grated cheese runs out, don't replace it till the next full shop - that'll teach 'em to make it last.0 -
Many thanks for all advice: Wigglebeena - I LOVE your suggestion, but (wails) it's unhealthy isn't it? And I'm getting them into bad habits, and left to themselves it'd be all pepperami and cheese and nothing remotely veg-like. Will do it though - am inspired by this being an easy and populist thing to do.
B&T - Oh GUILT - the artichoke bottoms were the worst of it - I threw away some things that were only four-five years old, but just couldn't see us ever eating. Bin-men have been, but prob. just as well as me rummaging in wheelie-bin pulling out dusty cans and jars of grey-coloured beetroot would be amusing sight for neighbours:o.
I need to hear all of your advice, as things must clearly change around here. But at the moment I feel like I'm in a different country, a very long way from where you all are. I think the first step is some easy batch-cooking this coming long weekend (yay!), and will look for a slow-cooker.0 -
I don't know if this would help you at all, but at the beginning of the year I created a spreadsheet on the 'puter, to do meal planning.
I try to keep a few days ahead, and I also have a page for meal ideas.
Roughly once a week I sit Mr LW down with me and ask for his input on what we can have, and fill in the next few days on the calendar sheet.
This way, he can't whinge that he's having to eat what I tell him, and having the input, he seems more inclined to make healthy suggestions.
Our reason for doing this was that a) he works odd hours at times (including, from next month, being on call 24 hours a day for a week at a time) and b) I'm disabled, so we need to work the meal plan round when he's able to help with cooking tasks I can no longer do alone.
I just wondered if getting your family to help plan, and also thinking ahead to what hours you're working might make it easier?
HTHIf your dog thinks you're the best, don't seek a second opinion.;)0 -
Suffol, I've just been reading your posts. The last comment you made was what I was about to suggest a slow cooker. I've got the cookworks one here, and its one of the best things I've bought. I've also got a breadmaker, which saves me a fortune.
I made a chilli the other day with 500gm mince, and there was enough for around 4 days. I made it stretch buy adding red lentils, grated carrots, tonnes of kidney beans, etc.
You've got a lot of mouths to feed, so good luck with meal planning.0 -
changing a families eating habits is hard
people by nature dont like change
but reading your post, it sounds like its all fallen on you
you either need to get your family on board, helping out, and embracing the change/challenge
or, you get organised, and put down/leave ready a meal, take it or leave it style
starting from fresh where you are sounds daunting, i guess it is
but its very do-able, and once you get into it, you will rise to the challenge of making a meal for 6 with what used to be thought of as teh ingredients of a side dish
i agree about the slow cooker, very much
you throw it all in, and magically there is a meal for your family, waiting
this one is 6.5 litres
http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/4228826/Trail/searchtext%3ESLOW+COOKER.htm
there will be lunches left for you as well as a family meal in there!
tesco do huge (huge!!!) bags of rice lentils etc and are always a good filler, and they cook down, bulking out a meal and they wont notice its in there!!
I am wondering how many people are going :eek: at 2lb of mince for 1 dinner:D
it takes time to get organised from scratch, but once you start, there will be no stopping you, peeps on here, and SO SO helpful, the wisdom between everyone is breathtaking,
between everyone, we will get you on the correct path:T0
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