advice for my mum

marklv

bendix wrote: »

Of course she's entitled to some of his pension. No offence, but if your mum acts like a doormat, she's going to get walked over. It sounds like your dad has spoonfed her all his married life and told her she's not entitled and she didnt have the gumption to challenge it.

She needs to fight for herself and screw the !!!!!!! hard.

Not a very constructive post. I would suggest you don't accuse people you don't know of being 'doormats'. If the lady concerned decided not to contest the husband's pension she would have had good reason - either she was paid a cash sum in lieu, or she had a bigger share of the house, or kept the house outright, or some other reason. Or maybe the judge took other factors in consderation, such as potential inheritances, the ex-husbands's new partner, etc. It can be a complex subject.

margaretclare

bendix wrote: »

Of course she's entitled to some of his pension. No offence, but if your mum acts like a doormat, she's going to get walked over. It sounds like your dad has spoonfed her all his married life and told her she's not entitled and she didnt have the gumption to challenge it.

She needs to fight for herself and screw the !!!!!!! hard.

She could have done so at the time, but if it was a 'clean break' divorce then she can't go back to it now.

It may not have been a 'clean break' divorce however. This is something else the OP needs to find out.

When my DH was divorced there was an attempt to 'screw the *** for all he had'. It didn't work, mainly because he didn't have much, having walked away from a house and furniture. There was an attempt to get part of his annuity but he gave up his half of the equity in return for keeping the annuity, which was already in payment. She got the house but she also got the mortgage to pay.

It's true that there are still women around who have been brainwashed by a more dominant husband into thinking they're not worth anything. At 58 and not being able to retire for another decade, maybe it IS worth her starting a pension of her own - a stakeholder perhaps? Depends on her financial circumstances at the moment, how long she intends to work and what she can afford to save.

marklv

Also, let's not forget that lengthy litigation will only make the lawyers rich and leave you with a very large bill. It's usually best to have an amicable settlement, even if you may not get everything you want.

bendix

marklv wrote: »

Also, let's not forget that lengthy litigation will only make the lawyers rich and leave you with a very large bill. It's usually best to have an amicable settlement, even if you may not get everything you want.

You sound like you're speaking from experience.

anmarj

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

If she is drawing from her ex-husband's because she doesn't have enough NI of her own or only paid married womens' NI, he will have to be 65. (so, for example, if she is two years older than him, she will have to wait until she is 67 to draw it).

this only applies if they were married, as she is divorced what they will do is look at her own entitlement and see if they can subistute the basic pension against her ex husband conts, the ex does not have to be state pension age for this to happen

myothercarisaferrari

bendix wrote: »

Of course she's entitled to some of his pension. No offence, but if your mum acts like a doormat, she's going to get walked over. It sounds like your dad has spoonfed her all his married life and told her she's not entitled and she didnt have the gumption to challenge it.

She needs to fight for herself and screw the !!!!!!! hard.

Bendix I appreicate whatyou are saying but I would appreciate it if you didnt call my mum a doormat. She wasnt and isnt. She spent years following my dad round with his job, raised two kids and worked the entire time. By the time the divorce was through they had been separated 18 months due to his affairs - she almost took an OD due to the stress of his lies, not paying the mortgage and us almost getting kicked out the house.

They haven spoken in 8 years, so its irrelevant to screw him over. She had a settlement from the sale of the house but most of tht went on paying his debts and her solicitor fees. She never tried to 'screw' him over as she was emotionally drained and didnt have the money to do it.

I just want to know what help she can get, as she is the best mum you could ask for:) She married in 1979 and didnt opt for the married woman tax

I'veemailed her the thread anyway xx thank you x

jem16

myothercarisaferrari wrote: »

She married in 1979 and didnt opt for the married woman tax

Married woman's stamp was abolished in 1978 so she wouldn't have got the choice - thank goodness.

seven-day-weekend

jem16 wrote: »

Married woman's stamp was abolished in 1978 so she wouldn't have got the choice - thank goodness.

So therefore, if she worked all her life and paid NI, she should be entitled to Pension in her own right when she is 65.

She may be pleasantly surprised by her Pension Forecast.:)

margaretclare

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

So therefore, if she worked all her life and paid NI, she should be entitled to Pension in her own right when she is 65.

She may be pleasantly surprised by her Pension Forecast.:)

Yes, she may.

She will certainly get the basic state pension, whatever amount it is by the time she retires.

As she was never opted out into a pension scheme of her own it is likely that she'll get SERPS/S2P in addition to the basic. This can be very valuable.

marklv

bendix wrote: »

You sound like you're speaking from experience.

I'm not, but you might be! :rotfl: