CM/Access advice please !!

clearingout

It is incredibly frustrating being the on the reasonable side and seeing how contact or a lack of contact and commitment to contact can be devestating to children who just want to see their dad (or indeed, mum). Sometimes it's about being the bigger person. If he won't drive the 45 mile journey, how about your partner either offers to meet half way or even take the child to him? I know there is a cost to this (and that you might not be able to meet that cost) but it cuts out the middle man and saves any arguments. And if he then cancels contact you really do know he's not interested. And again, your partner will have done everything possible to ensure that their relationship is maintained.

And yes, I agree, he's an adult and big enough to take responsiblity for his own relationship with his child....45 miles really isn't that much, but sometimes that mountain just has to go to Mohammed! and you and your partner might actually get sometime to yourselves occassionally which I am sure you would both welcome?

As for promised holidays that never materialise and choosing not to pay etc. etc. it's all par for the course. It shouldn't happen and it's not fair being the person that has to pick up the pieces of a disappointed child but that's the reality of separation and divorce. As I said earlier, your partner's child will make her judgements in the years to come and they will be accurate! But she will also be grateful that her mum did her best to maintain the contact and that's the bit where mum has to live with herself.