Maintainance, access and NRPP

Bellio

Hi all,

Just a quickie. We pay CM to PWC for 3 nights per week for 2 children. My husband has had to find a new job due to redundancy and will be going on to shifts (Lates and Earlies) Where do I stand f the PWC starts getting funny about them being with me while he is at work until 10 on a night. We have been married for 4 years and together for 10 years. And believe me his ex will try this if she gets wind of it.

Thanks

karenx

Acess to the children has nothing to do with CM, its a seperate issue. So if she has a problem with it I dont think theres alot you can do apart from try reassure her she has nothing to worry about and the kids dont mind being with you!

Kimitatsu

So you have the children for 4 nights a week is that right? Or do you have them for 3? Just checking because if you have them for 4 nights a week then that makes you the primary carers........

How old are the children? I am assuming older than 10 as that is the time you have been together, at that age any court will take the childrens opinions into account. So if they have been happy visiting your home for the last few years, I cant see why they would change now, and being honest she wont have much of a leg to stand on, if she wants to complain. As has been said CM and access are not linked but given the fact that the children have been in this routine for some time the courts would take a dim view of her trying to change it sudenly now.

Bellio

Kimitatsu wrote: »

So you have the children for 4 nights a week is that right? Or do you have them for 3? Just checking because if you have them for 4 nights a week then that makes you the primary carers........

How old are the children? I am assuming older than 10 as that is the time you have been together, at that age any court will take the childrens opinions into account. So if they have been happy visiting your home for the last few years, I cant see why they would change now, and being honest she wont have much of a leg to stand on, if she wants to complain. As has been said CM and access are not linked but given the fact that the children have been in this routine for some time the courts would take a dim view of her trying to change it sudenly now.

Hi thanks for your replies. I know that they are both seperate issues however she has tried all this on many occasions even when my husband has been there constantly. Long never ending story, just to try and get more money. The children are 13 and 16 (17 in 2 weeks) however they are afraid of their mother and generally do what she says. We have had them 3 nights / 4 nights a week, we do all of the "day to day" nurturing if you like, my stepdaughter comes to me for advice on schooling, we atend her parents evening and her 6th form college evenings, career evenings etc. school plays. I just dont want there mother to see yat another way of trying to get more money out of us by trying to stop the kids coming down when he is on late shift and wondered if we went through the court route I would able to still see them. My daughter (14) is like a blood sister to them, they have grown up together since she was 4 and it would be a shame so just let her do that.

Thanks Kimitatsu

Kimitatsu

At the ages they are a CAFCASS officer would take their opinions into consideration in a big way! They are old enough to say where they feel safe and how they feel. As the children have not come to any harm in the last 10 years and the precedent has already been set that you go to parents evening etc, the courts would be more than likely to rule that the exisiting arrangements continue as it is in the best interests of the children.

Can I suggest that you keep a diary of how many nights you have them because it sounds to me like you have at worst shared care and at best primary care, so it may be that you are paying too much as it is! I realise that you dont want to rock the boat but if you can show shared care then your laibility will drop.

If need be then ask for a long CAFCASS report not a wishes and feelings report as the long one is far more indepth

Hope it all goes well