All I need is 10k!

Tsia

I am so depressed.
I have 3 credit cards and one overdraft.. amount to 9-10k.

I have a buy to let property out of fixed period that I rent by the room and cover more than enough for its mortgage and bills thus having a trickle of income too.

However.. I went through many operations in 2008 and was forced to resign my job cos I had complications and couldnt state when I was coming back to work.
My doc kept signing me off.. bu to cut a long story short, I resigned cos I couldnt be doing with the hassel.. then found out I was actually pregnant. so all time off then baby.. now 2010 my credait cards are maxed out I am struggling to meet min payments and getting calls left right and centre.
Went on Government maternity allowance for a little while.
Now that has stopped. and I am down every month. I am living in my overdraft.. trying to sell my clothes and bits I dont wear on ebay just to get some extra money!

I have about £35k equity clean in my house.. but cannot release it or remortage cos I am no longer employed.. and I dont know what to do. (

I have missed a few payments on the credit cards here and there of late cos I simpply didnt have the money physically.
They are shoving charges on left right and centre and I just dont know what to do. My credit score isnt that great.. I had to pay £7.99 to get that!

I applied for £10k loan but declined.. stating self employed (property landlord) but still a big fat no.

I cant remortgage and release any money cos I aint got a 'job'

looked into going back to work but childcare is atrocious!
live with babys father but have always done stuff 50/50 and hes very very stubborn and this how it stays.. he expects me STILL to pay half of his bills and ALL the food cos I dont contribute to his mortgage.

I only need £10k to pay it all off.. or some sort of arrangement that will not damage my credit ratings even further like an IVA.. (heard thats like declaration of bancruptcy as far as your credit is concerned) I wanna be able to remortgage *IF* I am able to get a job in 9-12 months time if not sooner.

What can I do?

Shall I just go to C advice?
cry cry :(:(:(

Tixy

Hi Tsia

Sorry you have had a tough time. I think you need to work out a detailed income & expenditure account and to talk to one of these free debt advisors http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=2077631

Unfortunately it looks like there are probably few if any options available to you that won't affect your credit rating. A debt management plan, and IVA or bankruptcy will all drastically affect your credit rating.

If OH won't help can you at least go through all the household expenses to check you are getting value for money. eg check your utility suppliers, phone& broadbank supplier and insurances etc to make sure all are the cheapest suppliers (you can make quite substantial savings this way).

Does he earn significantly more than you? Do you have any joint financial products?
If you do then perhaps you need to tell him that by expecting you to contribute more than you can afford he is actually harming his own credit rating and he too may struggle to get new credit.

Perhaps you need to do an individual statement of affairs and then a joint one for you both so he can see that you cannot possible continue as you are - http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

tallyhoh

Why should you partner expect your 50% when you have to take time off to look after his child? I am all for equality but this is outrageous.

Sorry, you need to have a good talk, this is no partnership.

duchy

If he expects you to pay 50% then I'd expect him to do 50% of childcare........

If he calls himself your partner-maybe he should act like one

Tixy

So if you decided to live alone he'd have to pay all his living costs and contribute to CSA etc. Maybe point out that he'd be a lot worse off in that situation and he should grow up and accept that you are now adults with a child and need to do what is best for you all.

Tsia

i dont want this to become a slagging match on my partner.. lets back to the issue.. how do I get round all this??

WITHOUT BELITTLING MYSELF AND ASKING FOR HELP FROM OH?

I have mentioned the problem and i get '' well how did you get in that state?'' how patronising.. him being a copper he doesnt allow himself to get in any debt,

Tixy wrote: »

Hi Tsia

Sorry you have had a tough time. I think you need to work out a detailed income & expenditure account and to talk to one of these free debt advisors

Unfortunately it looks like there are probably few if any options available to you that won't affect your credit rating. A debt management plan, and IVA or bankruptcy will all drastically affect your credit rating.

If OH won't help can you at least go through all the household expenses to check you are getting value for money. eg check your utility suppliers, phone& broadbank supplier and insurances etc to make sure all are the cheapest suppliers (you can make quite substantial savings this way).

Does he earn significantly more than you? Do you have any joint financial products?
If you do then perhaps you need to tell him that by expecting you to contribute more than you can afford he is actually harming his own credit rating and he too may struggle to get new credit.

Perhaps you need to do an individual statement of affairs and then a joint one for you both so he can see that you cannot possible continue as you are

he earns £30k pa. no.. we dont have a single joint financial situation whatsoever.
its always been mine and his and paying 50/50.
Then I found out I was UNEXPECTEDly pregnant after 5 years of no children after no contraception.. but he wanted to abort the mirale.. and I kept.
A huge fuad persued.. i left and now am back. yes its cheaper for me to live in my rental property with tenants but want to be as a family and give another go seeing as the initial shock of becoming a father at 38 was over and done with!
He now gives me £150 per MONTH. it would be more through CSA.. but he agrees he doesnt want his son living in the rental house aroundtenants.. so... we moved back. but I am expected to still pay half of stuff.. the only thing that has changed is the £150 he hands to me every month.

tallyhoh wrote: »

Why should you partner expect your 50% when you have to take time off to look after his child? I am all for equality but this is outrageous.

Sorry, you need to have a good talk, this is no partnership.

its such a touchy subject.. he just says- well you wanted it (


by the way.. when we were going through reconcilement.. we tried to buy a house togather and even his squeaky clean credit rating was turned down for £15k to get the deposit for a new house.
Can we be finacially linked already just by living together for so long even though we have NO joint accounts whatsoever?

LIKE I SAID.. all I need is £10k to be sorted.. but releasing it from my rental property seems to be impossible.

And I cant sell.. cos not only would I be subject to Cap gains Tax but I would not have ANY income apart from pocket money off ebay!"

ARRRGHHHH>> I feel like so retchid.. stuck.. unless someone has some great idea for me.

I am useless when it comes to knowledgeable about finances.

WASHER

Unfortunately, I don't think there is a quick fix to your situation, you are not going to get a 10K loan from anywhere at this moment in time, the problem I see is if you are missing payment with your credit cards etc, then this will have an effect on your credit rating, you may find it difficult to get a good deal if you want to remortage the home in a few months time.

I would suggest writing to your creditors, offer them token payments and seek advice from the likes of the CCCS.

Could you sell the house? Is this a possibility?

smug

Dump bloke.
Sell BTL Property.
Spend mornings watchin Jeremy Kyle.

custardy

TBH selling your home would get you back on a level field in one move
as you have found out childcare is a real hit,we pay about £700 a month for 4 days a week.so you need to weigh up if going to work is going to bring in any level of income
your partner will be on rotating shifts (unless on a specific duty?) so that becomes a real headache as you can plan set hours

Willow_K

I can understand you not wanting to sell the house if this is your main source of income, but it really does sound like your partner is taking you for a ride - he refuses to take responsibility by paying his fair share claiming it is because you wanted the child and he didn't but then expects to be able to dictate where you live so he can pay less than he would if you were living apart.

Saying that, I get that you want to be a family, but you really need to talk to him about how your partnership works. You would most likely be financially better off not living with him due to the tax credits and benefits you would be entitled to as well as the increased maintenance he would have to pay. Might be worth pointing this out to him.

If he refuses to budge on the 50/50 and you were to look for a job, I'd be making sure that the childcare gets put onto the household expenses so he has to contribute half of it.

Are you making sure that you are claiming all of the tax credits that you are entitled to?

Other than that, the only thing you can do is post an SOA and see if the good peeps on here can make any practical suggestions.

Hope you get it sorted x

gonzo127

Hi and sorry to hear you are having a tough time, i am also sorry that you appear to have take some of the harsher comments a bit hard,

however most people on these boards are talking with experience of dealing with debts so although you need to take some comments with a pinch of salt you also need to read them and take note of the underlying message

your problems seem to stem from (and please dont take this the wrong way) your baby, and the fact that he sees him/her as your problem (sorry this is how it comes across to me) and is only taking the minimum responsibility for creating the baby - and as ever it does take 2 to tango if he wasnt willing to take on the potential responsibility of doing the act he should have kept it in his trousers (and i am a man myself)

i do think you need to talk to him, as everyone else has said, he is your partner, therefore you should be in a partnership, he has created the baby and has to take responsibility for him/her,

he can not expect you to be out of work, look after his baby, and still put in half of the money to everything in his house.

to be blunt in your current situation in your 'partnership' it appears very much that you are letting him dictate to you hwo everything is, which just so happens to be best for him.

anyways other thoughts, check out www.entitledto.co.uk and put in your details to find out if you are getting everything you should be, also with him being in the police force he might be entitled to childcare vouchers which give much reduced cost of childcare therefore giving you the ability to get a job

the other one is to post your SOA (statement of Affairs) for us to try and help you spot potential savings which can be made in your lifestyle. http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

i would also suggest that if you are 'responisble' for all food that you look into changing your eating habbits, so that you save yourself some money, and if he has a problem with wthis he needs to put some extra money into the groceries - i also say that you should aim for £60 per person per month on groceries and this is relitivly easily done with the drop a brand challenge, batch cooking and meal planning