Feeling so stressed :'(

princess1984

Hello all, hoping I can vent here please? I've had the hardest week, financially, emotionally, and been stressed about the health problems in my family. I honestly thought I'd have a breakdown but I'm still standing.

My creditors are on my back, I cannot apply for the access to learning fund from my uni (who I'm hoping to help pay my court fees) until I have collected the evidence I need, which will take a month. Until that time, I am in limbo, can't really do too much but stress. I am behind with my uni work due to my ill health, I have a formal extension but this BR stuff is taking over my life in more ways than I can imagine. I know my question went unanswered before but I don't know how the OR will react seeing from my bank statement that I spent 3k on cosmetic surgery before I knew I was going bankrupt (this money will not be included in the BR). I knowI have been irresponsible with money but I don't want to get into trouble, I honestly didn't think this would be happening.

My kids are upset because things were so tight this weekend we couldn't afford snacks for them, they keep saying 'we're poor' which breaks my heart, and my fiance's mother has given us money to help us get through this time and buy some food. I have turned into a horrible person, grumpy, shouting etc, and have fallen out with family members too.

One question: we're in a contract with Sky. We missed payments totalling £58. They want me to pay this plus one months fees on 1st April which I just can't do. Can I lose sky and include what I owe in the bankruptcy?

Thanks in advance/

confused76

oh dear princess, one of those weeks by the sounds of things. you're in the right place don't worry.

when did you spend on cosmetic surgery, how recent was it? it's difficult to know how the OR will react to this, it is the same as any other form of credit though. i don't think there is much point worrying about it, as what's done is done. i worried about what the OR would think about my spending habits, but there is nothing i can do to change what has happened in the past.

yes, you can include sky in your br

i hope the week ahead is better for you. i know it's hard in the run up to br, but keep going and it will get better xx

missfirefly

aw hun i felt exactly the same before i went bankrupt..i was worrying about everything and anything.There really is no point stressing yourself out about things you cant change.The money has been spent and nothing can be done to change this.A month will soon pass by and you will be able to get things rolling.Please dont feel alone because you are not,everybody will support you on here and they are so full of knowledge to help you out when you need it.Your kiddies are obviously feeling the strain too but please assure them that better times are ahead of you all and trust me they will be.I worried sick about what the OR was going to say to me about my spending previous to my BR but he never said a word.Whatever you do prioritise your needs at the moment and use whatever money you have to meet your essential living expenses eg food,heating etc.The OR will expect you to have done this.Good luck honey and take care xx

princess1984

Thank you both for your kind words, they're really appreciated at a time like this.

I spent £3k in January on the cosmetic surgery, I had already seen the doctor regarding the problem and had taken over a month off work sick with the depression my hang ups brought on.

My kids will go mad when they lose Sky, but I am glad thats one load off my mind - I just can't see how we could afford to continue paying them.

I hope the month will fly round, is it likely my creditors will take any action? Vanquis in particular are going nuts, just got my 'final demand letter' - dun dun dun!!!! I was really upset to receive it, but my fiance reckons there isn't much they can do when I'm going BR anyway. I am worried sick about creditors though. What if they send baliffs round? Can I actually tell them I'm filing for bankruptcy or will they chase me more?

confused76

the kids will get used to not having sky...we've got a freeview box and that's got all sorts on it.

i wouldn't tell anyone you're going br, they tend to increase the pressure. sit tight, the month will soon pass. if debt collectors turn up you don't have to talk to them, just ignore the door. difficult i know but the end is in sight.

Sunnylooloo

Sorry you are feeling so down, it really is a horrible time.

I know the letters and phone calls really can really get you down at times.

Sky - I agree wtih Confused the kids will get used to Freeview.

I think what you also have to remember there are so many people in very similar situations so you are not alone.

I know having my family around and the fact that they know my situation has helped enormously.

Please take care
x

shazbo

Hi princess, please dont worry about the kids they will get used to what they have to get used to and to be honest i have found it a breath of fresh air that they now understand not to ask for things as we are just unable to do it. We had a very small christmas in comparison to previous years and they loved it, for mothers day i asked them to just help around the house instead of buying me anything and that worked really well (for me anyway!!!) They will adapt and end up happier in the long run

newdawn_2

Hi ya.

Have you looked at other sources of help with getting together BR fees?
Are you still making repayments to the debs- If you are DEF going BR its not worth it.

Have you posted a SOA on here yet? People can help you.