I'm a DFW and my family think I'm tight

lucystardust

Just thought I'd put this on here to see if anyone else has a similar problem or any advice. Plus I'm also feeling the need to rant!


Basically – I'm a debt free wannabe and my family think I'm tight! I'm in my 20s, and from a small rural town, I work in London in my 1st proper job. When I first got my job I was living at home, and to me (and my family) the salary seemed fairly big compared to wages in our area. But now I'm renting closer to work and have realised that compared to similar jobs in London the money isn't fantastic. But I love my job and am planning to stay there. The salary just about covers rent, travel, bills and debt repayments – but there isn't any room left over for luxuries and I have to really budget for everything. But that's fine by me while I'm repaying my credit cards.


Thing is my family think cos I have a 'fancy London job' I must be loaded. I just don't think they understand how much train season tickets and rent costs these days. When I talk to my friends at work we're all in the same boat which makes me feel better, but my family think I have some lavish lifestyle. When really I'm having to resort to the old 8p noodles for dinner towards the end of the month! When I tell them about my money saving they joke that I'm doing this cos I'm tight. When we go out for dinner I think they expect me to chip in more than them because I'm earning loads in the 'big city'. I'm always going on about how poor I am, but this just makes me seem tighter and like I'm a moaner.

Verbatim

Try giving them a reality check. Tell them how much your rent, CT etc and travel to work cost. Seems a cheek to expect you to cough up more than your fair share, unless in your family higher earners have always been expected to do this. But if so even more reason to disabuse them of their mistaken view of life in the big city!

happyhaddock_2

Hi LS, I've just started a DMP and am in severe miser mode, I'm soo tight it's frightening:rotfl:what I've done is tell all my family so that they don't expect large presents, going out for dinner etc in the future, and hopefully they'll understand why I've stopped spending like I used to:)

Lemon_Tree

my family have thought that i'm tight for ages, specially when i planned my wedding (which turned out like a dream come true). But now i have cleared 30k of my debts and my sister still has about the same amount as she had when i first started on this DFW journey.

Deep_In_Debt

What's wrong with being "tight"? At least you are being sensible with money and realising the value of money. Wish I could have been in your position and not found myself in masses of debt.

miss_lisalou

Hi Lucy, you are definitely not alone.

It's the same for me and many others on here I'm sure. I used to love splashing out on expensive gifts and the top brands for me, but when it's all being paid for by credit it hits you sooner or later, so you are doing the right thing.

You've already had some good advice in the above posts, so I think you should highlight to your family just how much these things cost and that it leaves you with little leftover afterwards. Everyone thinks that other people earn more or are worth more than they actually are, and it's natural for you to think the same about others too, so a quick bump back down to earth with what it's really like wouldn't do any harm I'm sure. x

Ames

Er, they want you to subsidise their meals out and think that you're the tight one?!

I'd find ways to creatively let them know how much things cost. Next time they complain about the price of petrol, for instance, say 'yeah I know, my travel pass costs £xxx' or 'wish I didn't live in London then I could have a car for less than the £xxx a month it costs for a travel card'. Or if there's something on the news about interest rates say that you're glad you don't have a mortgage cos paying £xxxx in renting is bad enough. Maybe comparing your costs to theirs will be more effective than just numbers? Unless you've already done all that, in which case I've no idea what to suggest!

VicB

Hi Lucy,

I feel your pain!! Have exactly the same problem, live in greater London (so get tube in) but because I work 'in London' all my friends & family think I earn a small fortune, yet travel per month is around £180...!

I'd just ignore them love, if you want to be tight, be tight...I am...and sometimes, so are they!

Good luck with you DFW journey x

lynzpower

Do they know you are in debt? Is any of it student debt? Can you just say Im paying off debt and have nothing left over- sorry but thats the way it is?

Thats what Id do if it were my family, tell em straight

bluebag

If you were my daughter I'd be as proud as punch! You go for it with the debt repayments and don't let anyone put you off.

If they moan ask them to look at your budget:eek: and see if they can suggest a way of cutting costs;)

*Jellie*

I would probably have a chat to the closest members of your family about how it is a struggle with cost of living being high in London and explain your costs. Hopefully they will then be more understanding and back you up with extended family. If this doesn't work or if other people still treat you like your being tight you'll have to be thick skinned and stick to your guns!!