Am Really Scared - What Would You do?

Littlemadam83

Catsy - thank you so much for your kind words. You sound really strong, I have never heard of cancer in the ear. You must be really proud of yourself and have come so far. Needles are so horrible, so well done for getting through it all xxxx

Beks - you are a sweetie, the smear test made me laugh. It is a great comparison for me as the nervousness I had for my first one a few weeks back (was very late but my nurse was amazingly perfect in reassuring). All the worry was certainly over nothing, it came back clear but still I put myself through the stress of worrying. Goodness, I am such an idiot. So without realising you have actually helped immensely by putting it into context - THANK YOU xxxx

Franny - *putting patient being strong hat on * Am so glad your results came back ok. Interesting what you said about the survival instinct kicking in, facts like that help me realise that my brain is doing everything it can to make sure I survive! They are definitely trying to rule out every possibility which is great of the NHS because the eye doctor diagnosed intercranial hypertension (fluid on my brain), but wanted to get that backed up by the neurologist who did basic tests on me and ruled that out and then moved me onto the next step. So it is good they are not just fobbing me off. My other half is coming with me, so I will get him to sing, "you are my sunshine, my only sunshine.....la la la) LOL. xxxxx

It is weird, but I felt alone before I posted as no one I know has had one, but you guys have given me comfort in something probably so miniscule. SO thank you. I am still scared, but I dont feel as upset as you girls are so strong and I have to be too.

I know it's silly, but I stupidly asked my manager how one of my customers is getting on with his new wife as she has got cancer. Their story is so beautiful but so sad as she now has only months to live, and that got me off on the wrong foot today. It gives me hope that his love for her is the strongest love in the world. And in reality it makes my problems so insignificant when there are others out there being so strong. I need to remember that this is not the end of the world and I am so lucky to have my fiance and friends and fab MSE wedding peeps offering great reassurances.

THANK YOU xxxxx

and sorry for rambling xxxxx

SORRY,

Littlemadam83

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I had a MRI scan a few years ago now but they found nothing wrong with me. It's better to know rather than sit there worrying about it love trust me I know it's probably nothing but best to get it checked out.

After all your getting married for better for worse aren't you love

Steph xx

LOL yes, for better or worse, and he has been through so much with me.

I am smiling now, I am hoping my brain is photogenic hey? And big of course

Stephb1986_2

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

I am smiling now, I am hoping my brain is photogenic hey? And big of course

They couldn't find mine I think I left it in a jar at home that day :rotfl:

Steph xx

Littlemadam83

LOL, it would be good if you could take out it and give it a rest for a few hours! Would stop alot of unnecessary thinking!

OH just diagnosed me - my PEA brain has been rattling around and now lodged behind my left eye. SO he has put Bon Jovi on and I am now head banging to move it to the top - hee hee.

Thanks for making me smile

xxxx

pretzelnut

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

PrincessWoo - I cannot believe you go totally blind with your migraines That must have been terrifying the first time it came on. You poor thing, I hope you dont get them often. I did think this is what it could be, as there is something called a phantom migraine, but without the pain. It would certainly make sense.

Anyway, I know there is nothing worse than asking for medical advice on here. I do just wonder if others would sacrifice potentially ruining something so special. I suppose my health is more special.

Thank you for offering your support, how did it feel for you going and being tested left right and centre? Were they understanding and how long did your test last? Did you see the pictures? The tip on telling them about my nerves is a great one. It panicked me the day my doctor rushed me into hosp thinking ?I had a detached retina and I dont know, the feelings of horror are just coming back.

Thank you though it is sad you have horrific migraines, but I feel better hearing your experience xxx

I dont get any pain with my migraines now i am now on good meds which have limited the effects, i still sometimes feel like my head in locked in a vice every now and them.

They go like this, vision starts to blur with the starry visual disturbaces, i reach for my meds, take, them, pop my sunglasses on, cos even though i cant see i still need to protect my eyes, less than 2 minutes later im blind for up to 3 hours sometimes.

I used to go to bed and sleep them off, but i found that made the headaches worse, i woke up one day and said right thats it i aint scared of you anymore, Now i just carry on doing what ever i am doing. I have had several bouts of blidness whilst shopping at tesco's, I just ask someone to get me a member of staff and they help me finish my shopping. I refuse to be a prisioner. Once i got over the people will look at me funny thing and started not to care what other people thought it was easy to accept they were a part of my life.

Im 28 now and been suffering since i was 7 and its only the last year or so that i have managed to get them somewhat under control. Having been through every possible medication and finding one that works best for me.

I break the mould i get migraine attacks when im relaxed, the more pressure im under the better i am, as soon as i slow down and start to take it easy thats when they get me - so i try to be permanantly stressed out, lol.

Everyone knows i go blind, i know my house, i go mad when things are dumped in the wrong place in case i go blind and trip over them. The kids cope quite well, and are ridiculously well behaved when i have one.

I wear sunglasses indoors in winter if there are bright lights and i get funny looks but i dont care.

Doctors always think worse case - its their job, but its also their job to put your mind at ease too, saying it could be detached retina but we'll send you for tests to rule it out.

Believe me i have had many a time where i have freaked out thinking i have a brain tumour, im going to die etc or that 1 day i wont get my sight back and i'll never see my kids again, but im not going to let it take over my life, i am going to enjoy today and what happens tommorrow, well thats tommorrow, im not done with today yet.

My worst nightmare is having my photograph taken with a flash, and what am i doing soon, yet getting married and going to have a flash in my face all day.

We have to have strict rules, like a celeb wedding - no unoffical photos, but as people know me they are quite happy with my request.

Mrs_Moore_To_Be

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Hi peeps,

I really need some advice, as you lot understand how important our big days are.

In December I started having this flashing crescent in my left eye, bright white and rather scary. 2 eye appointments later, a neurologist appointment and an MRI scan I couldnt have (personal issue) I have been living in denial.

I was told to call and book a CT scan, I have had pressure on my left eye and weird visual occurrences quite annoyingly recently along with headaches after a few months of nothing I called the hospital to try and book. After being passed from pillar to post I got nowhere and ended up hanging up trying to get through to neurology. Any way, a letter has come through this morning for my CT scan booked by radiology (after they told me they couldnt help).

I am in bits, I am so so scared that what if this will bring bad news only months before the happiest day of my life. I know there is a slim chance, but what if the news brings my life crashing down. I will be a wreck. Do I go? Or do I put it off to enjoy things and then face reality? I am crying just at the thought of going (i suffer anxiety as it is!).

Sorry to go on, I am just happy in my bubble and am so scared of losing this happiness.

What would you guys do? Has anyone had a CT scan? Thanks for helping and I am sorry for being depressing

xxxx

Hi there - what a worry for you eh?
My advice is to get it checked out - always better to be safe than sorry.
I suffer anxiety too so can empathise but go and get it checked. xxx

Good Luck

raspabarbas

Just don't google your symptoms! They put the most popular results at the top of the list and these are usually the worst case scenarios.
CT=donut
MRI=noisy tunnel
The CT gives a whacking great dose of radiation though which is probably why they suggested the MRI in the first place, plus MRI is better for looking at brain tissue. CT doesn't quite have the definition to see details but you will see any big problems


The CT will be over before you know it. Be brave x