needing advice with OHs debt please

sammy_kaye18

Ok dont know where to start (but will say my pound sign is broken) btu apart form that the beginning sounds good (this is going to be a long one)

Right
I met boyfriend in 2002 and have been happy ever since. Only thing is before i met him he ran up alot of debt, which wasnt helped because when him and his ex split she ran up his debt because she knew his card numbers. We've tried getting monewy back form her but it didnt work.
So now he has gone to Harrington Brooks and they are helping him pay his debt off. He gives them $165.00 a month, they take their pay $29.08 and then they pay the rest towards his other debts.

He has (approximately)
$2000 with More Than C/C
$1300 with HSBC
$4500 on Morgan and Stanley C/C
$7800 debt in total.

He is paying it off gradually like i said but its expected to take 5 years
He also recently had a letter through saying he had street debts on his old house (which was repossessed because he couldnt keep up payments) saying he owes another $4983.85

so his debt total now is $12,783.85 (NOT including the 5,000 he owes his parents still!) and he keeps ignoring them and im worried it is going to get alot worse before it finally kicks him up the bum to get rid of it or he is put in jail for unpaid debts. They are totally in his name and technically nothign to do with me as I myself am debt free. I keep track of my money on a spreadsheet so i know what, when and how much i have coming in and going out.

between us we earn $1267.24 including benefits (child tax credit and child benefit)
our monthly outgoings are

rent - 196.84
Water 30.40
TV 11.00
NTL (phone bill - talk 24,broadband-17.99,family TV pk-30.00) 90.00
Council tax 76.00
electric (token meter) 30.00
gas (token meter) 30.00
debt 165.00
money to ex for their son 80.00
shopping 70.00
car insurance 50.00

can i just state - we have a car but it is broken and off the road - so bf cycles back and forth to work 6 days a week so we have no petrol costs)

so total outgoings are $889.24 so we should have $378 left over but boyfriend is a huge car/ motorbike freak and somehow we never see it, otherwise his debt would be paid off alot quicker.

anyone got any ideas on what we could cut down on etc to boost savings and get the debts gone quicker. I have considered taking on one of his smaller debts just so i know it is getting paid off but im worried whilst i help pay one off the others will gather interest.

lady_fuschia

Hi,
First of all, have a hug- and don't panic!
I'm not one of the experts on here- I'me sure someone will be along soon to help with the finer details of debt paying. But I did notice your story and feel a lot of sympathy- I took on my OH (and his ex-wife's) debts when I moved in with him- its a hard slog, sometimes its hard not to get resentful towards the ex, but to be honest worrying about the past doesn't really help!
DON'T pay his debts. They're his, not yours- but you can help him, and give yourself peace of mind. My OH gives me a set amount of his weekly wage towards housekeeping, and in addition, a set amount towards debt- which I then physicallly "pay" for him. That way he doesn't conveniently forget, and I don't have to worry about whether its been paid or not.
Don't whatever you do, join your finances- a joint bank account would ruin your credit rating, instead try setting up a housekeeping account in your name only, which you both pay your wages into and then pay yourselves a small amount of pocket money for each of you out of what's left (his would obviously have to go at least partly towards his debt) - I got this suggestion off this forum, and it's been quite helpful.
Anyway, just wanted to offer some support- and suggest perhaps you could get your OH to log onto the site as well? It does help if you're both focused on the same financial goals- I found half my problem was that I was trying to pay off debts and construct a plan whilst OH was floating off doing his own thing! Still does to a certain extent, but we are working together now, and have a clear plan about how to deal with debts. Its important that you're both clear about what you need to do.

Wonder_Girl

First of all STOP paying these people to pay your debts, they are not interested in you becoming debt free as this means they lose the fee!

There are several charities who will do the exact same thing FREE of charge have a look at the links at the top of the page

sammy_kaye18

Hi All

Have spoken to bf about his debts and told him that there is free charity debt helping places that an help him to sort his debts better and hes going to look into it when i get off the computer.

he also agreed that becasue we have 400 roughly at the end of each month that we never see - we are both goign to start beign better off wiht money so some of that money can go towardsw his debts too - we are hoping to put 200 towards it too so we will haev 200 for emergenccies at the end of the montha nd he will be using 360 to pay towards his debts.

hopefully this will get the ball rollign and it will be paid off that little bit quicker - ive even offered to pay the extra 40 adn make it 400 a month as and when i can

will let you know how it goes

best go so he can sort it