I can't beleive how easy it can be

elantan

would it be possible for him to deal with his exam phobia?

Bonglecat

Hi elantan, He's just got into CBT counselling (paid for by the Private Medical Insurance with him company) to deal with his issues but when they asked him if he wanted to deal with the exam phobia or his personal issues, he went for personal. He gets very upset by seemingly small annoyances and he's becoming more and more reclusive, so it's probably the right decision. I also think that he feels the exams are a waste of time so he refuses to give them any brain power.

The company have been very sympathic so far but I keep wondering how long that will last, he was off work for over 6 months last year with tiredness and depression, which is why he has had any bonus or pay rise withdrawn. So I sort of feel "on hold" at the moment wondering what will ultimately happen.

elantan

it may turn out that the two are connected, fingers crossed in a way it is as then they can deal with the second issue as well

how does he like the C.B.T?

if it's nerves he could try E.F.T

Bonglecat

Hopefully!

He only had his first appointment yesterday so I don't think he knows yet.

However, he is also currently be treated for suspected Haemochromatosis one of the symptoms of which is depression and irritability so that's another avenue for us to look at.

I've not heard of EFT, what is that?

M&S Visa £7298.30, Catalogue £169.97, Personal Loan £1170.85, Overdraft £Nil =
Total Outstanding Debts £8639.12

weight lost 9lbs to loss 26lbs

elantan

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_Freedom_Technique hope it helps

Bonglecat

:eek:More bad news I'm afraid. Put through my meter readings last week and on Friday the bill came through. :eek: Okay this is partly my fault but I'm on a monthly dirst debit plan and have been paying £69 per month (dual fuel) for the best part of 3 years. Part of me must have realised that this was way too low but I took advantage and left it. Well, what with DH being off for a long time last year sitting at home with the heating on and watching TV and with the deficit we were creating with the low payments this bill is £983. Which means the monthly payments have to go up to £229 or we pay the bill now and monthly payments go to £139, which is still double. So I've decided that when I get paid next week the bonus will pay for the holiday and the fuel bill rather than making a lump sum reduction on the credit card :(:(

Then this weekend we found that the UV lamp on the garden had leaked and blew out the electrics so we need to replace that another £120 :mad:. I've been putting away so money for pond expenses over the last few months so I can deal with this.

But on the plus side at least I can pay the bill and replace the lamp without getting into any more debt.

Now big question DH's credit card £25k put on to a personal loan or not. They have been holding at that level for about 5 years with no real sign of reduction. Do I get them on to a joint loan at 6.2% and have them paid off in 5 years, making sure he cancels them too? Or focus more funds on them once my loan is paid off in July?

M&S Visa £7298.30, Catalogue £169.97, Personal Loan £1170.85, Overdraft £Nil =
Total Outstanding Debts £8639.12

weight lost 9lbs to loss 26lbs

Bonglecat

So bonus pay day has now come and gone, without really noticing. On the day it came in I paid the balance on the holiday and paid the Npwer bill.

Spent the whole of last week on holiday from work, working in the garden and on the house. DH insisted that we do some pond rearranging to get the filter box and power supplies into a more accessible location. Which on the whole went well but did mean the purchase of 6 metres of new hose. But also resulted in a bit of a row as I said that the week was supposed to be about getting the house straight and he had hijacked it (again) to do pond things. That man has tunnel vision!! :mad:

I also repainted the front porch door which was in a terrible mess, we could really do with replacing but with prices at at least a grand it's not going to happen anytime soon. I also got a bucket of budget quick drying cement (thank you Aldi) and re-cemented a lot of steps including the block paved ones in the front, repaired cap stones and holes in paths and even cemented in my rotary clothes line. I had previous asked DH to do this and his solution was to jam a couple of paving slabs either side of it. Duh!!

We bought a lawnmover last year from ebay, big, big saving but the blade was on it's last legs. I considered taking it to a service place close by but then I saw that B&Q still did the replacement blades so I actually took the time and energy to replace it myself!!!! :T

I'm in London on business again this week, I really hope that expensive Chinese Takeaways are kept to a minimum this week, DH has previous form in this respect. The record is 3 nights on the trot!!!

Anyway weight loss also going well and I have managed to reclaim some of my old clothes from the loft, including my Levis. The nice weather is helping me to feel a bit happier and with 2 of the debts totally repaid in 4 months I feeling positive in that respect too.

Have a lovely week everyone. :beer:

M&S Visa £7109.10, Catalogue £132.68, Personal Loan £936.68, Overdraft £Nil =
Total Outstanding Debts £8177.46

weight lost 11lbs to loss 24lbs

elantan

What's the likelyhood he will spend on them again ? What lessons will be learned by taking out a loan to pay off the debt ? Think really hard before you decided, that's not to say you shouldnt take a loan out just make sure it isnt a sticking plaster holding in an ocean of trouble

Bonglecat

You're right elantan, when we moved into our house 5 1/2 years ago I paid off one of his credit cards from the profit on my flat to ensure we didn't go into the house with too much debt and almost immediately he spent up to the limit again.

He very much has the attitude I want it so I'll get it, doesn't matter where the money comes from. The worst part is when he buys things he doesn't need so that he can have them for future projects which may or may not actually happen. Case in point he bought £60 worth of boulders/large rocks on ebay but then had to spend £200 to get them to our house. And they have now sat at the bottom of the garden for a year waiting for when he redevelops the pond site.

So my plan was to get the loan, pay of the cards and make him cancel them. Then for emergencies let him have a secondary card on my M&S account but I will keep the limit low as I repay them, then hopefully he won't be able to run amock!?!?!??! And I would like to think that being prevented from having a card would be his "lesson learnt", he is far to lazy and scared of dealing with things to go out and get hinmself another card. This way I can be assured the loan is repaid in 5 years and no more debt accured, otherwise I can't see anyway of getting the cards down, we have been paying the minimum for the last 5 years and making no impact at all. I made some calculations and if we get the loan repayments to roughly what the minimums are at the moment we should be comfortably off.

M&S Visa £7109.10, Catalogue £132.68, Personal Loan £936.68, Overdraft £Nil =
Total Outstanding Debts £8177.46

weight lost 11lbs to loss 24lbs

bishboshbluebell

BC you are inspirational! I want you to come and sort out my mess. You have approached your debt with logic and determination - well done you! I will keep you in mind as I tackle my silly debts. Sorry to hear about hubby's job. All the best