Arranging contact with daughter

beckett110

I hope somebody can give me some advice.

I have a 3 year old daughter to my ex wife, we split up nearly 3 years ago and at the time of sorting the divorce I had to get the solicitor involved to arrange access to see my daughter as my ex wife refused to let me take her out of her house. It was reluctantly agreed that I would have supervised access at my brothers initially as my ex wife came out with all sorts of allegations at the time.

My ex wife eventually agreed to let me see my daughter at my home, I moved in with my gf 4 months ago and my ex wife agreed to let me introduce my gf to my daughter but since then my ex has made all sorts of accusations about me and my gf saying things to my daughter which arent true.

She eventually decided last week that she wasnt going to let me see my daughter outside of her house as my daughter had apparantly said that my gf had slapped her. There is a separate thread on this in the families section on her so I wont go into it all. I know for certain that my gf has not slapped my daughter due to me being in the room with them both at all times.

I saw a solicitor this week who said that I am not entitled to legal aid and would have to pay £130 an hour for her services. She seemed reluctant to do anything and said that the court would only grant a consent order as a last resort which made me question what options I actually have left. Having seen some posts on here I have decided that my best option is to go it alone and fight this without the help of a solicitor as I cant afford it.

I have seen my daughter once since this kicked off and that was round my ex wifes as I am concerned of the effects on my daughter of losing contact. I am thinking that my best option is to write a formal letter to my ex wife requesting contact with my daughter and sending it by recorded delivery.

My main questions are:
What is acceptable contact? - The arrangement was that I saw my daughter 3 nights a week between 4 and 7 as my ex wife always refused weekends but I really want to sort out having her on alternative weekends and I may need to drop possibly 1 night in the week to be fair to my ex wife but I would prefer not to hence my question.

What other things should I write in my letter?
Should I continue to see my daughter at my ex wifes house while contact is being arranged?

I am thinking of signing up to Families Need Fathers but I need to save my money in case I need to apply for a contact order. Can anyone offer me any advice on what to do next?

My ex will get legal aid and I am worried about my lack of expertise in this area compared to a solicitor.

missmontana

I can't advise you on all the legal stuff, but yes, keep seeing your daughter as your ex allows at her house until something more suitable is arranged.
Any contact is better than no contact and will allow her to build up some trust again.
Try the Citizens Advice, they may know of someone who can help if you have to go to court.
I am sure others will be along shortly to advise you.

frannyann

Carry on seeing your daughter, where ever that may be as that will be the most important thing to her, to see her daddy.
Contact order will be the best way forward for you as it sets out what contact is fair, you don't have to use a solicitor for this. Judges will not be swayed by clever legal arguments, they see this day in/day out, and they will do what is fair for the child NOT for the adults. If you do decide to use a solicitor most are fairly reasonable, and will allow you to pay off any charges over time.

beckett110

I think the contact order seems like the best option as then my ex wife cant stop me seeing my daughter when the mood suits her and hopefully I should be able to get some overnight contact rather than just an hour or 2 after Ive finished work before she goes to bed.

Will it look bad on me if I apply straight for a contact order without trying to negotiate with my ex wife first?

Ive found out that my ex wifes not getting legal aid but is still going down that route, she said they have sent the draft letter for her to approve so hopefully I should receive that tomorrow and then I can get started on my response and applying for the contact order.

speedster

no. apply for a contact order immediately.

mediation will be offered to her as a matter of course. it only goes against her if and when she refuses it.

if you decide this route, please feel free to PM me and i'll help all i can and put you in touch with others who can help.