Things can only get better!!

AlwaysWorking

Hello and welcome to my diary! I'll get you a cup of tea and a biscuit whilst you make yourself comfortable!

I'm starting this diary with the hope that the kind people on here will support and motivate me to turn my life around. I also hope that in time I will be able to look back and see how far I have come.

Last Christmas I had two jobs - one full time and one part time (hence my user name!). I had gotten myself into debt renovating my house but I was handling everything and wasn't concerned. It helped that I loved both of my jobs and at night I was going home to my gorgeous boyfriend who I loved with every cell in my body. After a previous rubbish relationship where my ex cheated repeatedly, I really appreciated my boyfriend and all the lovely romantic things he would do for me. I couldn't quite believe how lucky I was. :heart2:

Then disaster struck - I was made redundant from both jobs inside 8 weeks. Suddenly I had no money coming in and I was terrified. I got depressed and hated having to take such a huge amount of money off my boyfriend on top of the rent he paid me. He was lovely about things and never complained but some days I was so depressed I could hardly get out of bed and things cannot have been easy for him.

Later in the year things picked up - I got a job (albeit a fraction of my previous wage) and my lovely boyfriend surprised me by proposing!!! It was so romantic and the best day of my life, I was completely over the moon. :beer:

As luck would have it (my luck anyway!), my job turned out to be not such a blessing. The people I work for are basically bullies and shout and undermine the staff on a daily basis. Most days I would go home in tears. I found it hard to switch off and in the end (after discussing it with my fiance) I resigned.

We booked our wedding venue and paid the deposit, whilst I frantically looked for work. Six days later (after another silly argument caused by a misunderstanding) my fiance announced that he was leaving. He said that although he loves me, he cannot see a future for us and would rather split up now than a year or two down the line when we perhaps have a baby.

So I went and pleaded for my job back from my bully boss.

I am completely devastated...I'm not eating or sleeping properly and I cry frequently, which is very embarrassing for the poor guy I share an office with!! :rotfl:

I'm in a job I HATE. When my boss comes near me I act like Hyacinth Bucket's friend in 'Keeping Up Appearances' i.e I start to shake, I drop things and I get extremely flustered and nervous.

And to top it off, I'm in debt and may lose the home I love.

I just cannot see a way out of this mess, especially without the support of the man I loved...but I CANNOT give up. I HAVE to sort this mess and myself out and that is where you good people come in - I badly need your support. I need you to give me the kick up the bum I need to get out of bed, go to work every day and get myself out of debt. I will dig out my bills later to let you know what I owe. ALL support will be appreciated!

If you have gotten this far, thank you!

BEAT_THE_DEBT

Hi you sound as if you are very capable and bright enough to work anywhere. Dont put up with this!
Have you a union or personel dept?x Bullys should always be reported!x

AlwaysWorking

Hi, thank you for responding - tea or coffee?! My degree and experience are property related which means they're basically useless at the minute! I have applied for dozens of jobs, even office junior roles (I'm 32!), but I don't get so far as a rejection letter. I do check the jobcentre and websites religiously (every day) though and keep hoping someone will give me a chance. The recruitment agencies have told me in the past that they don't want to forward my cv as I am over qualified and they don't think I will stay in the job....I'd put my heart and soul into any job if it paid the bills!

The company I work for are owned by two bosses so I have no one to complain to unfortunately.

SmlSave

:coffee: Thanks for the coffee AW

I'm doign some baking tonight, do you like coffee cake? If so I'll bring some over

You sound like you've had some bad luck. It has to get better (HUG)

May I suggest that you contact the CAB to have a chat with them about the bullying at work? They may be able to help.

Have you contacted the Council to see if they have any job openings? I have a friend who works in the housing sector and she always seems swamped.

AlwaysWorking

Hi SmlSave! I love coffee cake, lol! I started a diet around 6 weeks ago - I had a dream I wanted to be a size 10 on my wedding day, which means losing around three stones. So far, with all the stress the last few weeks, I've lost 1 stone 3 lbs. I'll probably never get to wear a wedding dress, but at least losing the weight will help with my (non existant) self confidence!

I doubt CAB (or anyone) could sort this place out. Apparently they've lost a few tribunal cases in the past over their treatment of staff and the turnover is hectic. EVERYONE talks about leaving on a daily basis...but with so few jobs around we're stuck and they know it.

I'm dreading typing out how much debt I've gotten myself into..but in my defence it was all spent on the house...I'm not really into clothes/makeup...having such low self confidence means I hate shopping! But with the property downturn I'd be lucky to sell the house and clear my mortgage...never mind anything else.

I phoned Nationwide hoping I could take a mortgage holiday as that would have let me pay off some other bills and sort myself out.....but they said no.

One day my luck will change and I will read this and be proud I got through it!! :T

Pinky15

Sorry couldnt read and run - wanted to send a hug!! Poor you what a horrid time you are having. I too have a bully boss hence on my diary trying to pay off my debt so I can leave. I know very much how you feel and struggle to cope with it all! Have you a union rep you can go too or anyone more senior - or transfer office/department. What about you mortgage could you go onto interest only to relieve the payments.
Ps Mines a coffee x

AlwaysWorking

Hi. Yesterday I spent a lot of time crying and feeling down. Today I just feel pure anger - is that the next stage in the grieving process?! :mad: I went to a friend's for dinner last night and told her my tale of woe. She couldn't believe that my lovely fiance had left me only two months after proposing, especially since he can't really explain why.

Today I am just bubbling inside with anger. Anger at him for leaving, anger at the lies he must have told me every time he said he loved me, anger at all the plans we had made, anger that I'm having to return engagement presents and deal with the embarrassment of having to explain to people when I don't understand what happened myself.....

The anger is a good thing though because I feel a bit stronger than yesterday. He phoned earlier to discuss getting a van to start clearing out his things. I've since decided that I'm going to pack it all up and leave it in the garage for him to collect...I hate the idea of him and his friends/relatives in my home deciding what to take...and I couldn't bear to be there. So that's most of my weekend planned, lol!

The anger has also made me more determined to fight for my home and get on with my life. I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of falling apart and losing everything! Ebay here I come!!! I need to get organised and get some extra money coming in to help me pay off the bills. I'm not letting any man destroy my life!!!!!!!!!:)

The one good thing today is that my bosses haven't been in and so I've had a day of peace with no one shouting at me! :T

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend!!

Nelmer

I couldn't bear to read and run (((hugs))) to you.

I know it is painful but do post your SOA. I posted my first one last year and got the most amazing amount of support/help/suggestions :j.

I've just started my own diary and the support is fantastic. Keep posting and we'll all keep supporting

Raini

You had me subscribed at the tea and biscuits offer but after reading more I'm sending you positive happy vibes and *hugs*. The five stages of grief: denial; anger; bargaining; depression and acceptance. It is a process and thankfully does have an end. I'm familiar with that black hole of depression but it does get better and you will be stronger for it.

*subscribes*

BEAT_THE_DEBT

Sending you support!xx