Invitation to Church

Mrs_Moore_To_Be

princesswoo wrote: »

I understand your predicament and please dont shoot me down in flames for this but i would find it very rude, you'd like me to take my time to witness your commitment but you wont spare me the courtesy of feeding me.

Come to the church, then sod off and get a macdonalds in your finery whilst you wait for the night do.

Would those people who came to the church be allowed to stay for the photos, or are they not special enough to be included there either? Would they be allowed to talk to you or is that also only resereved for proper guests. At what point do you turn around and say - you have to go now this bit is only for guests we are willing to feed.

Have you ever thought that thoise who want to go to the church, may also want to hear the speeches.

I doubt many people would take you up on your offer. What about those who have children or the elderly, what are they supposed to do for the several hours between the church and evening function, what about those who might have to travel. This just poses to many questions for me.

If you really want those people there, then i would be considering my budget and altering it to allow them to be there all day. Reducing the menu head cost, asking people to contribute etc etc.

If there that important that you want them at the church, the least you could do is allow them to fully partake in the celebration that follows. This inclusdes speeches etc NOT just the food.

Weddings are an extremely long day and people get hungry and grumpy very quickly. The last thing you want is a lot of grumpy hungry people on your hands.

Can i just ask - is it a big church - are you worried about it looking ''empty'' - please dont it doesnt matter how many or how few are there, once you walk down that aisle the only person you will notice is your future husband and once you get to the end of the aisle you and no-one else will notice, trust me ive been there and done it.


(runs away and hides now)

I have to agree with you for all the questions and concerns you bought up.

I too would love to invite people to the church but cant have everyone at the wedding breakfast so we had to make some hard decisions on who we REALLY wanted there.

I worry too much what people think and the potential arkwardness so I wont be inviting ppl to the Church if they are not going to the breakfast.

But for those who do - please let me know how it goes down with the guests as in an ideal world I would like to do it!

mrsW2b

Well I think its nice to give people the option of coming to the church, we live in tough times and simply cannot afford to have everyone we want for the whole day - its the guests choice if they wish to come and see the marriage.

I was thinking of putting something along the lines of -
'Our hearts are bigger than our purse strings and so unfortunately, we are not able to have everyone for the entire day but those wishing come and witness the ceremony at the church are most welcome'

needs a bit of work but you get the gist, lol

wanttogetwed

I am in the same boat, my mum reckons it is cheeky to invite folk to our wedding but not the meal. Therefor we are leaving it up to the guests. They can come and see the ceremony if they like then go home and get ready for the evening do. I am not mentioning on my invites I am just explaining that we have a tight budget and that means we are only having close family at the meal.

kidcat

We have received invitations very similar, inviting to church followed by evening, and at first it was a bit confusing but it seems to be getting more common now and is accepted. Persoanlly to avoid confusion I would prefer an invite to the evening with a note included of church ceremony details saying I am welcome to come along. Although anyone can attend a wedding at a church and an invitation is not needed as churches services are open to all.

northnorthwest

I am doing this - we have a small budget and have a lot of friends so we are having only family at the reception with friends joining us in the evening.

My friends wanted to see the ceremony and I wanted them there for the photos so I have put a note in their evening invitations letting them know what time the church service will start.

They don't think it is rude as they understand that our money is tight - they plan to attend the ceremony then do for lunch then come to the evening reception. There are around 20 odd of them so i'm sure they'll amuse themselves!

The best man is a friend of us all so i plan to video the speeches and then play them somewhere in the evening for those that want to see them.

Sammy85_2

princesswoo wrote: »

I understand your predicament and please dont shoot me down in flames for this but i would find it very rude, you'd like me to take my time to witness your commitment but you wont spare me the courtesy of feeding me.

Come to the church, then sod off and get a macdonalds in your finery whilst you wait for the night do.

Would those people who came to the church be allowed to stay for the photos, or are they not special enough to be included there either? Would they be allowed to talk to you or is that also only resereved for proper guests. At what point do you turn around and say - you have to go now this bit is only for guests we are willing to feed.

Have you ever thought that thoise who want to go to the church, may also want to hear the speeches.

I doubt many people would take you up on your offer. What about those who have children or the elderly, what are they supposed to do for the several hours between the church and evening function, what about those who might have to travel. This just poses to many questions for me.

If you really want those people there, then i would be considering my budget and altering it to allow them to be there all day. Reducing the menu head cost, asking people to contribute etc etc.

If there that important that you want them at the church, the least you could do is allow them to fully partake in the celebration that follows. This inclusdes speeches etc NOT just the food.

Weddings are an extremely long day and people get hungry and grumpy very quickly. The last thing you want is a lot of grumpy hungry people on your hands.

Can i just ask - is it a big church - are you worried about it looking ''empty'' - please dont it doesnt matter how many or how few are there, once you walk down that aisle the only person you will notice is your future husband and once you get to the end of the aisle you and no-one else will notice, trust me ive been there and done it.


(runs away and hides now)

To answer some of your points:

Photos and who is in them wont be a problem.... We're having photos privately, just me and the OH, whisked off from Church to the beach for photos whilst everyone else makes their way to the reception. We will be doing close family group photos at the reception, to please the grandparents, but are keeping these to a minimum, as i dont like the posed group photos. In the evening we are having a photoshoot set up in the corner, where all guests are welcome to have photos taken (and we'll pose with them if so wished!)

Our evening guests are going to be neighbours, aquaitances from work/church/friends of friends. So travel isnt a problem, church and venue are only a couple of miles apart and most people live between the two. All those friends who we are inviting from far away are of course coming to the whole day.

We're not inviting children, none of our friends have children yet anyway, and most of our cousins are old enough to not be considered children anymore!

We cant reduce menu prices anymore without cancelling the sit down meal all together, and that just aint happening.

And no, our church is actually very small, i would say no more than 100 capacity really, so it will be pretty full anyway. I just dont want to exclude anyone from attending the ceremony. Whilst church weddings are open to anyone to attend, im sure most people wouldnt dream of gatecrashing a wedding and i want to make sure that my evening guests know its fine by me if they do come.

morwenna

I always ask if it's okay to go to the church when only invited to the evening "do". (No-one's ever said no. Although in a civil ceremony I understand that room sizes are different and don't ask.)

I certainly wouldn't be offended by what you suggest adding to your invites, I would be honoured to be formally invited see the most important part of the day

hayleythedaisy

I don't think it is rude at all. I think it is quite nice, I know loads of people (mainly older) who would like to come to the church, and would be ok with doing that and coming back to the night do. And I also know a few who wouldn't particualarly want to stay for the meal but would like to go to the church so they would be well chuffed.


I have been invited to a wedding like this and didn't mind. I did mind that they invitation was really unclear so we didn't understand and "rocked up" to the reception. We were mortified when the best man came over and told us to leave lol. (We took the opportunity to go to our wedding venue for lunch lol)

So PLEASE MAKE IT CLEAR!!!!!

I would invite with something that says on the front "Evening Invitation" and inside
"you are invited to the evening reception of XXX"
"Should you wish to join us at the church we would be delighted to see you there, the ceremony starts at..."

Obviously worded properly just wanted to clarify the seperateness of it!

And I wouldn't worry at all about what people do in between, firstly, it's your day and if people want to take offense frankly F* them!!! (Sorry getting wound up by all the not being able to do what you want/spend £100's extra not to offend). Also it is entirely their choice to come to the church, if they feel that would be awkward to arrange then they can just come to the evening.

Hope this helps, sorry if I ranted at the end!!!

Quote

I can't imagine wanting to go to a wedding and not being invited to the reception. One would noramally lead to the other. I understand that you might have budget restrictions, but going through the pfaff of getting dressed up for a wedding and then waiting x hours to attend an evening do wouldn't be my bag.

My guess is that there wouldn't be many taking you up on the offer.

Anyone can attend a wedding, can't they?

kr15snw

Depends on the person, I know a lot of people who only care about the wedding and not the reception (which is how it should be!).

Just make sure you invite them to the evening do and then maybe add a note to the bottom saying 'If you wish to join us for the ceremony at x church then please do! The ceremony details are.....'

But as others have said make it clear.

And to those who have said 'you want them to come to your wedding, but not feed them?' Since when was a wedding about being fed. I want people to see me get married, I couldn't give 2 hoots about feeding them. In an ideal world I'd have everyone at the ceremony, then me and H2B !!!!!! off for food and then everyone comes back in the evening. But my mother would kill me if I did this. Lol.

Go for it love, I'd happily attend a local ceremony and then just go to the evening