Invitation to Church

Sammy85_2

Hi All,

We're getting married next year and are working to quite a tight budget, with a church service and then small-ish reception afterwards at the town hall.

I would like to have everyone who is coming to the day and/or evening function to be able come to the church service and share the moment with us, but i cant afford to feed them all at the reception afterwards!

I was thinking of putting something in the evening guest invites saying something along the lines of:

"Evening guests are welcome to attend the church service at x o'clock and then join us at the evening function at y o'clock"

Do you think this is acceptable and will be clear enough to avoid anyone who attends the church service just rocking up at the reception without official invitation?



Thanks

Dizzie77

I would just invite them to the wedding ceremony, and later the evening do.

Although when I've been invited only to the evening do before, I've asked if the couple mind if I come to the church (as the marriage bit is the most important), and it's never been an issue.

Others will be along to give their opinion soon...!!

fly_dragon_fly

i have this same issue so i will wait and see the outcome of this thread.

i to have a lot of people to invite to the wedding its self but dont have enough money to feed the however hundred people i would like to celebrate the wedding with!

cheekydi

I'm off to a wedding next month where I am an evening guest and the invite stated on the additional information sheet that all guests were welcome to attend the church as well, then have free time before the evening doo.... people are very understanding of the costs of weddings and be OK about this. At the end of the day if they want to be there for the service they will be, if they don't then I wouldn't worry about it - you've given them the option. That's on how I plan on doing it!

Sammy85_2

Thanks for the replies so far, feeling a little better about it now!

Alot of stuff i read on the net said it was highly rude to have someone at the ceremony but not at the reception afterwards. They were mostly american sites though, and some of these people even said that it was rude to be only invited to the evening, as if you're not good enough to spend the whole day with!

We obviously do things differently on this side of the pond.

Im just worried about people going onto the reception when they havent been invited!


x

Loonytoons

I have this problem too. I'm just going to put a note in with the evening invites saying that they are welcome to join us at the church for the service etc

Queen_B_3

I have been invited to a wedding in this way before and thought it was acceptable, I felt quite honoured to have been invited to the ceremony, wasn't expecting it at all.

Generally I think most people will accept this idea, I'm sure most people like attending weddings for the ceremony itself and not to have a meal!

fly_dragon_fly

you saying about rudeness

we got invited to a wedding i say we i mean me , my mum , dad and two brothers but only me and mum were invited to the wedding and meal whilst my brothers were invited to the evening do and my dad was invited to everything which i though was rather cheeky and rude.

we didn't go to that one.

pretzelnut

I understand your predicament and please dont shoot me down in flames for this but i would find it very rude, you'd like me to take my time to witness your commitment but you wont spare me the courtesy of feeding me.

Come to the church, then sod off and get a macdonalds in your finery whilst you wait for the night do.

Would those people who came to the church be allowed to stay for the photos, or are they not special enough to be included there either? Would they be allowed to talk to you or is that also only resereved for proper guests. At what point do you turn around and say - you have to go now this bit is only for guests we are willing to feed.

Have you ever thought that thoise who want to go to the church, may also want to hear the speeches.

I doubt many people would take you up on your offer. What about those who have children or the elderly, what are they supposed to do for the several hours between the church and evening function, what about those who might have to travel. This just poses to many questions for me.

If you really want those people there, then i would be considering my budget and altering it to allow them to be there all day. Reducing the menu head cost, asking people to contribute etc etc.

If there that important that you want them at the church, the least you could do is allow them to fully partake in the celebration that follows. This inclusdes speeches etc NOT just the food.

Weddings are an extremely long day and people get hungry and grumpy very quickly. The last thing you want is a lot of grumpy hungry people on your hands.

Can i just ask - is it a big church - are you worried about it looking ''empty'' - please dont it doesnt matter how many or how few are there, once you walk down that aisle the only person you will notice is your future husband and once you get to the end of the aisle you and no-one else will notice, trust me ive been there and done it.


(runs away and hides now)

Zimm190

I went to a wedding like this, it was a friend of my OH. He told me we'd been invited to the church and the evening party but not the reception. I'd never heard of this before and thought he had it wrong - but he hadn't! I didn't find it rude, just really odd. We went to the church, stayed for the photos, and then went to the pub across the road with some other non-reception guests whilst the rest went to the reception. We went home and got changed later and then went to the hotel for the evening part.

The speeches are an important part of traditional-style weddings, especially for the men as this is where all eyes are on them, rather than just the bride! It was a shame we'd missed them at this particular wedding.

I still think it's strange, even though we had a nice day. I always understood that the evening part is for those you'd like to see but aren't that close, such as work colleagues or neighbours etc.

Loonytoons

For me, the people i will be inviting to the church are work colleagues for me and OH and acquantances. I have some friends (mums from school) who said right from the beginning that they completely understand us not inviting them to the meal as we do have a tight budget and so are just having friends and family but they would love to see me get married and then they'll join us for the evening reception. Having spoken to many people since, it seems to be a very acceptable thing to do and apparently i spend too much time worrying about what people think, lol