Planning for death?

RufusA

Not sure if this is the right forum, but probate seems to crop up more in here than any others.

I've just discovered today that my Dad has an in-operable liver tumour, and the prognosis is essentially a hospice with palliative care in a matter of weeks.

Ignoring the emotional/relationship side, what things could I/should I be doing now, to ensure the least financial stress for my mother in the weeks to come.

From what I can tell, they both have wills (which pretty much leave everything to each other), savings (in separate and joint names), own their small bungalow outright jointly.

Essentially what I don't want is for my Mum to be locked out of any bank accounts, or have unecessary form filling, delays, complications that could have been prevented with a little forward planning. Both in the remaining weeks of my Dad's life, and after his death.

If it adds to the confusion, both live in Edinburgh, so Scottish probate law applies.

Rufus (just discovering how much last minute weekend London->Edinburgh flights cost).

Debt_Free_Chick

First off, explore the option of a Power of Attorney now - so mum or you can run his affairs without having to bother him or get him to sign anything. Sadly, it seems as though it might soon be at the point where he won't be able to sign himself anyway, so get the PoA sorted.

Next - who is the executor of your Dad's will? Would you do it? This means that you get to sort all his financial affairs out and then pass them on, in accordance with his will. If your mum is the executor, you might want to think about whether you should be, instead. Do you think she would be able to cope with sorting out the finances in addition to dealing with his possessions, funeral arrangements etc etc?

The probate process is relatively straightforward, provided there are clear records of the assets owned. So now is the time to start getting all the records sorted - accounts, account numbers, contact addresses etc etc.

Here's a step by step guide to what to do after a death (in Scotland).

Another thing you might want to do, is to choose the funeral directors now and perhaps ask Dad what he would want - favourite hymns, flowers or not ...etc

It just seems to me that if you can take on some of this stuff for mum, then she can spend more time with him in the next few months. I know he's your Dad .. but it sounds like you want to put Mum first.

Hope this helps

dunstonh

Financially, if he is under the age of 75 and there are savings, he could consider putting money into a pension.

This would add 22% tax relief (40% if he is a high rate taxpayer) and removes the value of pension out of the estate for IHT purposes. On death, the full fund value is paid to nominated beneficiary without charge giving a 22% gain with love from Gordon Brown.

Investment bonds are another thing to consider. Get one on low cost terms and get a high allocation of around 5-7%. On death, they will pay out 101% of the fund value. Most, but not all so that needs to be verified, will not claw back that money on death.

These are just ways to get a bit more from your Fathers money to benefit your mum.

Your mum and dad are lucky to have you help her them in what must be an awful time for them.

Plasticman

Sorry to hear about your bad news.

Very little to add thanks to the excellent post from Debt_Free_Chick, only to say that it may be wise to transfer any money held only in Dad's name over to your Mum's account. If you do it now and close Dad's account it's one less thing to worry about later.

margaretclare

Hi, and deepest sympathy from me

Try to find out what your Dad wants re his funeral arrangements. From experience, it's a lot easier to arrange a funeral (well, it's never easy, that's not what I mean) if you know what the person wanted - there's a kind of comfort in carrying out what you know were their last wishes.

This never occurred to me years ago until one day, must have been in the late 1960s, I walked in on a heated argument between my mother and my aunt on this very topic (they were the 2 people who brought me up). They had opposing views on the topic of burial vs cremation. Although I was a qualified nurse and had obviously met death before, I'd never realised there were choices, options at this time. In the fullness of time I had to arrange both their funerals, and I did so in accordance with their expressed wishes. Nowadays funerals are much more about a celebration of the person's life than deep mourning. Some people say no black, some express a wish for their favourite music, some want church, others no church, some want cremation, others (like me) have made arrangements for a woodland burial.

Allow your parents time with each other, time to go over their lives together. Let them talk, and let your Dad talk, don't feel you can't cry with them - crying is essential. Be open and honest, angry even, not with your Dad, but with cruel fate.

Otherwise, you've been given excellent practical advice. I've given you what I learned from experience.

Very best wishes

Margaret Clare

RufusA

Just a quick note to say thanks to everyone for your kind words and very sage advice.

I've printed the scotland gov pdf off to read on the plane, and all of your messages have given me plenty to look at this weekend up in Edinburgh.

It's people like yourselves that give this site so much more depth and compassion than "bargain" sites. :T :beer:

Rufus.

mariauk

Hi Rufus :grouphug:

Im sure your Dad will be very proud of you for thinking ahead for your Mum, I think Margarets post was spot on, All of you should enjoy each others love and spend the time you have in a celebration of all the good times shared.

I lost my Mum very recently and discovered she had been advised to make the solicitor joint executor. This means that they basically have an open cheque and will try and make as much money as possible from the estate. They are charging £170 an hour plus VAT and will take between 1-3% of the total estate. Please check your Dads will to make sure he hasn`t made the same mistake. Even if you aren`t sure what to do as an executor, there is plenty of help and advice available and you then have the choice to use professional help as opposed to being forced into a situation you can do nothing about.

I wish you and your family all the best.

Maria

seven-day-weekend

Hi Rufus

Thinking of you and your family at this sad time.

Johnhowell

Rufus,

My father was diagnosed with terminal cancer and a friend told me to claim for Attendance Allowance under Special Rules - he got £60 per week. He did not even need an attendant to get this.

Also, the Power of Attorney needs to be Enduring Power of Attorney (may be different for Scotland). PoA stops when the person becomes mentally incapable whereas EPoA "endures" until death when the Will takes over. So, if the Executor/Executrix can be the Attorney as well -all well and good for ease of transition.

Best wishes,
John