Not inviting partners during the day

anderson8

We have a very strict limit of 70 guests during the day, so we have 35 guest on each side.
problem is i have a much bigger family than my partners and (spilling into his 35), only have space for about 8 friends.
i know i cant invite their partners during the day, but can invite them to the evening, so how do i word this on the invites?
i think i have to send 2 seperate invites?
has anyone else got this problem?

Yellowbug

How about addressing the invite to your friends, and then add a note near the information about the evening reception to say that partners can come then?

Pimpslider

Family are formost at weddings.

We also had a limit of 70 on the day. We invited/listed family first, then friends (with partners). We had to insist on no children for the day or meal, but they were more than welcome to bring them along/collect them for the eveing bash.

Real friends will understand if you cannot accomodate them during the day as alot of people struggle with numbers. As long as they get an invite to the evening then I am sure they will be happy. I pretty much did an open invite for the evening, even thought it was limited to 100 people. The reception place screwed us around abit, so I just made sure it was rammed!

Mrs_Moore_To_Be

When my friend got married she sent me the invite alone but with a note inside to say that although she would love to invite my (then) b/f she just didnt have the capacity but that he was more than welcome to come in the evening - she did it with all her friends. We all understood, like someone else said - if they are friends they will understand :-)

minerva_windsong

Maybe say something like,

"Unfortunately as much as we would like to invite our friends' partners to the wedding breakfast, we are unable to do so due to limited capacity. However, partners are more than welcome to attend the evening celebrations."

I'm not sure if that sounds a bit pretentious but something to that effect is probably OK. As others have said if they're real friends they'll understand.

dizziblonde

I'd probably have a word to them in person or by phone prior to sending the invites out and just explain what you've said on here - then send invites for day/evening as you discussed. Harder to potentially cause offence and be misinterpreted face to face and means they know the score before the invite comes in black and white so to speak.

littlearfer

minerva_windsong wrote: »

Maybe say something like,

"Unfortunately as much as we would like to invite our friends' partners to the wedding breakfast, we are unable to do so due to limited capacity. However, partners are more than welcome to attend the evening celebrations."

I'm not sure if that sounds a bit pretentious but something to that effect is probably OK. As others have said if they're real friends they'll understand.

That is almost word for word what we said...and as has been said, if you know someone well enough to invite them to your wedding, you should know them well enough to say that you just can't fit them in for the day time.

However, I have seen a few people on here (different thread somewhere on this board) who said they wouldn't feel comfortable going without partners - does everyone know at least one other person?

frannyann

As our guest list is tiny, a couple of friends are being invited without partners. I asked them first if they were okay with it, and once I knew they were I sent them the invite in their own name and an evening invite in their partners name.

kr15snw

Pimpslider wrote: »

Family are formost at weddings.

Not to me they arn't. My friends come way before the majority of my family. I see them every day and go to them with all my issues. On my guest list my friends come before my aunts / uncles / cousins (obv not before my parents and brothers).

I would talk to them before sending the invite, and then send the invite.

We don't have room to invite any children to the day so have made sure that we have spoken to everyone who has kids and they all understand, so now we can send invites with just the parents knowing it won't cause offence.

kittiej

As long as the invite is extended to some part of the day- Who cares?

I once posted on a thread where someone's partner wasn't invited to ANYTHING! and I got hung out to dry lol, but afaIcs as long as they are invited to at least part of the day then there is NO PROBS!

You do what YOU want to do, nobody else, just you & OH of course.

Wishing you the best of luck xx

anderson8

we have the capacity for 200 at night so inviting partners then is no problem, they can can come and also bring their great aunt fanny if they want at night.
i think one of my main issues is my friend to whom i was a bridesmaid for 2 years ago, even us bridemaids werent allowed our partners during the day such was space.
now i think she expects and invite for her and her husband during the day(shes not one of my bm).
some of my friends have mentioned that i should invite him, just because theyre man and wife?