What can he do??

Rocket99

Thanks for all your replies people

I have spoken very carefully to the children as, despite what he says, money is not my main concern. The youngest seems oblivious to what's going on, but states, as he always has, that he wants to live with me. The eldest is a very sensitive soul and tries to say what he thinks people want to hear. He was very upset today and all he will say is "I don't know". It breaks my heart to see him like that

I'm sure a lot of what he says will be threats, especially as I will fight him through the courts if necessary - I wonder if he's considered this financial cost! Given his fairly poor track record as a father from when he left here to now, I can't see him getting residency of either of them - he works F/T and I am the one who works around the kids school days, is always there to collect them from school, takes them to cubs etc.

I also reckon he has been economical with the truth when he told his solicitor his side of the story too. But there again, if it's the same one he used last time, he came out with some off the wall figures then too.

alwayspuzzled

From my experience of the family courts the judge is only conserned with the best for the children and I would expect them to see straight through an attempt for residensy based on finances. They also don't grant residensy OR change existing living arrangements lightly. If you are confident the kids want to be with you and are better off (emotional/welfare/stability) with you then I wouldn't be to concerned with his selfish demands. While everyone obviously has to consider the effect on their finances I'm sure its clear to everyone whos acting in the best interests of the kids and whos just trying to avoid CS!

daska

Family courts also hate splitting up young siblings. He's living in cloud cuckoo land.

speedster

seriously. the guy is deluded if he thinks a RO application will suceed.

even if he could prove you were a crack dealing lady of the night with a crystal meth habit, the liklihood is he would still fail!!

residency orders are only successful where the child is in danger etc. any solicitor would know this, so it's just hot air.

speedster

alwayspuzzled wrote: »

I dunno my OH originally had a letter from a solicitor demanding a cs payment of £300 a week stating the CSA would ask for £500 a week. It now turns out they had been presented info showing our partnership had a turnover of 140K but even if this turnover had been 100% profit in his name the highest the csa calculator comes up with is 400/week and surely anyone with a brain would know 1/ a partnership doesn't consist of 1 person (clues in the name) 2/ theres a diff between turnover and profit 3/ cs is calculated after tax etc.

This doesn't exactly inspire me with confidence re solicitors, however they never followed it up so I suspect they were maybe operating on the principle that if someone recieves a letter from a solicitor more often than not they'll comply no matter how rediculus the demand (like asking for 120% of someones wages!).

aye. that sounds like sour grapes. thing is, if the ex went into the solicitor and said "he's earning 140k a year" the muppets will send you a letter informing you how much the csa will take based on those figures.

they cant even be held accountable as they are acting on info given to them.

Rocket99

My ear is now flat from spending so much time on the phone today. However, CSA claim has gone in, although I will make one final attempt tonight to get him to keep things as they are. Child Ben say that it could take 21 days for his application to show up, so far they have nothing. Child Maintenance Options were lovely and gave me lots of info too.

I also spoke to my solicitor .... and when she'd finished laughing, basically said he can't do anything, if it did go to court re a residency order, it would be him who would be looked most unfavourably on and just to refuse to let him claim the CB - altho as they aren't resident with him, he'd have a job. Will be speaking to school etc to make sure he doesn't change the boy's addresses to his. I guess it's a case of wait and see ........

daska

speedster wrote: »

seriously. the guy is deluded if he thinks a RO application will suceed.

even if he could prove you were a crack dealing lady of the night with a crystal meth habit, the liklihood is he would still fail!!

residency orders are only successful where the child is in danger etc. any solicitor would know this, so it's just hot air.

Actually, in our experience, your scenario would have worked, but only because SS had already been involved before the residency application. We were dead in the water until I managed to persuade SS to fax a letter outlining their concerns to the court. DSDs barrister, who TBH I would have retained later if at all possible because he was brilliant, went white when he saw the and the police report that I also managed to get faxed over. I think we all stopped breathing when he took DSDs mum into the interview room and explained that there was no way to get her daughter back.

daska

Rocket99 wrote: »

My ear is now flat from spending so much time on the phone today. However, CSA claim has gone in, although I will make one final attempt tonight to get him to keep things as they are. Child Ben say that it could take 21 days for his application to show up, so far they have nothing. Child Maintenance Options were lovely and gave me lots of info too.

I also spoke to my solicitor .... and when she'd finished laughing, basically said he can't do anything, if it did go to court re a residency order, it would be him who would be looked most unfavourably on and just to refuse to let him claim the CB - altho as they aren't resident with him, he'd have a job. Will be speaking to school etc to make sure he doesn't change the boy's addresses to his. I guess it's a case of wait and see ........

you're in control and can breathe deeply again, go on, try it :beer: