In debt and In love with a Mexican.

Grass_Stained_Feet

Hello all,

I have read the post by the scouse, and a few of the diaries on here, and I have been on these forums for a while, but only recently as someone who owes money :think:

Ive gone from someone who had £6000 saved to someone in £5000 of debt in the space of 1 and a half years.

To explain my below SOA:
I was stupid and done over by virgin. Newbie mistake of transfering a balance, leaving it there 6months, then coming home and buying a saxaphone on it. next month I get a bill with £50 interest. My halifax current account has also been downgraded and no longer gives me the joy it once did, although i am aware i can get £5 I opted out and have just applied for an A and L account give £100 bonus sign up and parralel 0% CC with no fees (santander). This is all still going through the pipe line But I am hoping that they'll give me enough credit to move all the virgin stuff.

That is where I am at.

It is wierd because my calculator says I should be saving £300 a month, but I don't see that I am, even though I used my bankstatement to work it all out. I guess it is because I spent money on other things, like curtains(from charity shops - i had none and its cold) and £84 on a new cat and its things that it needs. That still doesnt add up though.

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1221.12
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1221.12

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 400
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 64
Electricity............................. 10
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 37
Water rates............................. 28
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 35
TV Licence.............................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 15
Groceries etc. ......................... 50
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 140
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 5
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 10
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 10
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 30
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 834


Assets
Cash.................................... 260
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 800
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 1060

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
virgin CC......................3194......25........24.9
Tesco CC.......................1956......39........0
Natwest OverDraft..............56........0.........0
Total unsecured debts..........5206......64........-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,221.12
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 834
Available for debt repayments........... 387.12
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 64
Amount left after debt repayments....... 323.12

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 1,060
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -5,206
Net Assets.............................. -4,146

Created using the SOA calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using Firefox browser.

Stop reading here if you are not bothered about me being really self centered and 'listen to my really interesting story'

This time a year and a half ago I left to go to Mexico with £3000savings and a volunteering project paid for . I came back and now have a debt of around £5000. I've never ever ever had a lot of money, so I am not really a big spender, and am not materialistic, but because of that I have never really been good at money when it comes to experience - if that makes sense? I'll spend money on adventure, on friends, on seeing the world without really putting a price on it, but you'll never see me with a pair of jeans that cost over £25, and ill head for irish cream instead of the baileys. But I will quite happily get carried away when it is a friends bday.



My other problem is that I have a boyfriend in Mexico (I spent so long in Mexico because I fell in love ......... AWWWWWWWW.) and a brother in Japan and like I said, I cannot, simply cannot control myself when it comes to spending money on experience. I want to go and see my brother in Japan this year and I will have to visit my boy in Mexico at least once this year. He is coming to the UK (fingers crossed - i'll save you the horrible UK border story) mid March - mid April. Then I will visit him not long after that and then if eveything is still hunky dory I will be having to proove that I am financially stable so he can get a fiancee visa (a whopping £600 near enough) and then obv, I will need extra cash for the extra mouth (although he will have some money too) and we will need money for a wedding, and then I think he would have to then pay for a marriage visa (around another whopping £600). Until he can then work.

Plus I am getting uber broody and if everything is still lovely (which I am sure it will be) then we will be wanting kids in a year or so..............and want to have pennies behind me.

My other problem is that when I do not see friends and if I feel like I can't spend money on petrol to drive to a mates house, or money on a night out, or I feel guilty when I have my sax lessons, or rubbish when my mum is still paying my part of our orange wednesday outings (I am 25.) then I do tend to start feeling really rubbish and sad. Yesterday when I was working everything out it was just rubbish and I feel like I know that my debt isnt half as major as some peoples, but with it sitting there I can't be with the person I love and I can't see my friends that don't live around here and i can't see my brother for another year and a half til he visits and it just makes me feel embarrasingly sorry for myself. Is there a 'how to beat the debt blues' thread on here?

bargainbetty

Hi and welcome,

Maybe you should think about keeping a spending diary? Every little coffee, magazine etc adds up, and I found it really helped me stop silly expenditure that just doesn't occur to you when you are doing a budget. It'll help you spot the problems, anyway.

With regard to everything else, if you can't afford sax lessons, why not stop for a while, and restart when you can afford them. Or, have a look at what you have laying around that you don't use anymore (books, DVDs etc) and ebay them to raise funds for your lessons.

Look at increasing your income with a bar job, or something like that, just till your debt is clear....

With regard to your brother, think about how your brother would feel if he found out you were going into debt to see him - wouldn't he feel worse for knowing that? You can get Skype and webcam each other through MSN etc to chat. How much is your bf contributing to the visas? Surely he should be saving for those costs too? You shouldn't be thinking about funding everything for him, partly because the immigration people will want to see evidence that he can support himself, so his bank balance needs to be healthy. Does he have good earning prospects over here? That isn't mercenary, if you plan to stay at home while you start a family, it will make a huge difference if he can support both of you for a while.

Weddings can be done far more cheaply than people think, but again, live within your limits. A huge wedding might be lovely, but can cost you thousands, and when all is said and done, it's one day. Better to start life together free and clear than still paying for a frock you'll never wear again : )

I hope it's not been too harsh, but reality has to kick in - if you can't afford stuff, sooner or later you'll be up the creek. Starting a family worrying about paying for nappies isn't going to do you or your relationship any good.

Sadly, you have to live within some limitations! Going on wild trips is great, but I've had to learn to pay for them first! Now I go on a trip knowing that I can enjoy it without worrying about paying for it for a year.

I wish you all the best x

Tixy

Hi Grass stained and well done for posting up your SOA.

I think I can see some of the reasons you don't have the money your SoA says you should have spare. You have a car but haven't put down for tax, insurance, MOT, servicing, tyres etc. Work out the annual cost of all of these and put 1/12 in your monthly budget.

I guess you spend something on clothes over a year, so budget just a small amount for that. Do you pay for haircuts or cut your own? Do you have contents insurance? Do you have a TV licence?

You say you get carried away with birthdays but have only included £120 for all christmas & birthday and any other event presents for the whole year - is that realistic?

Are you sure you are only spending £50 on groceries (including pet food, cleaning products, toiletries etc)? its great if you are but people often spend a lot more than they realise or forget to include the money they spend on top up shops during the week.

Is elec really only £10 per month? if it is well done, but it seems pretty low so just wanted to ask in case you had mistyped.

I agree with betty, you really need to keep a spending diary to see where else money is being spent.

Good luck

Grass_Stained_Feet

Hi there,

Thanks for your friendly replys, I was a bit scared I was going to get slated. I will definately take your advice on board...I don't mind having a simple wedding either, what matters to me is that we are together.

I will start a spending diary, and perhaps talk to my work about overtime before looking for a partime job. My leccy is just lights and oven, the heating is oil which is why that is the larger bill. Contents insurance I dont have.....

The mot and tax is paid for til june but you are right i guess i am going to need that money then! I will do a new SOA in a months time when ive done a diary for a month.

My bf is saving, bless him. He came out to visit me in Nov, spent 800USD on a return flight and got sent home on arrival:mad:...so that was a waste of cash!Made me feel slightly sick for having invited him. So now he has saved another 30,000 mxn pesos, which is more or less £1500 for his next visit which I doubt he will spend all of. If he gets the visa he'll stay a month then go home to save more.....he has no problem saving and paying for visas, I just want to contribute a bit considering he will be uprooting his life in Mex and leaving all his family behind, and his potential career as a pilot, all to be with me.....and I think allowing him to pay a grand for the priveledge would be a bit rich of me....! especially when the cost of living over there is about half of what it is here, but their pay is more or less a relative 1/4. So it takes him twice as long to save for anything!

The books thing is a good idea, I actually do have a lot...I also have some killer boots that I never ever wear and really don't want to sell. But probably should.

I am also thinking of match betting :A

Britwife

You really need to look now at the fees involved with immigration. Things are really changing and fees go up every April.

With a fiance visa, he will not be allowed to work. Once you get married, you need to switch to FLR (further leave to remain) within 6 months along with a hefty fee, normally you would have that for 2 years and then get an ILR (indefinate leave to remain) However, they are doing away with ILE and ILR and your status will be probationary. They are doing away with allowing citizenship after 3 years of marriage. Basically, he will be on the path of "earned citizenship" and it will cost alot more than those numbers you have listed. There is also something about earning points and immigrants making payments to the government purse to cover costs of NHS and benefits.

As of right now, he will not be entitled to any public benefits until he get ILR and that will be gone before he makes that step. The government hasn't come up with an exact plan of when they can get public benefits.

This is a simpler break down of what is going to happen
http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/managingborders/managingmigration/earned-citizenship/how-will-it-work/

My husband is British and I am American. I have been here for 3 years and I will be applying for my Citizenship next month. I spent $500 usd for a spousal visa plus airfare for 3 (I had 2 children at the time), next was ILR which cost me £720 and now have to pay for my Citizen app. which is just over £700 plus the ceremony fee of £80 and I have to do the same for my oldest son as well. Again, these fees go up every April. When I first got here, the ILR fee was just under £400.

You really need to be prepared and it may be best to go to Mexico to get married and then have your new husband apply for a spousal visa. With that, he'll be able to work as soon as he gets here but won't be allowed any access to public funds. Doing it that way will save you at least one hefty fee.

It is really important to stay up to speed on immigration issues if he does come here to live. Best wishes

Britwife

What was the reason for refusal of entry into the UK?

morocha

hi op, i think people is quite right about their advice and believe me, i know how it feels but you can not have it all unless you want to be in debt all your life.

i came to the uk in 2005 , my boyfriend( now husband) is english and i am argentinian, i came here without a visa the first time, i did not work at that time i was only styding some courses (no uni)i had to wait i think 3 hours for them to let me pass, i mean i do understand that as i had no debit cards, credit cards and i came with no money at all. My boyfriend sent me an invitation letter where he stated that him and his family will look after me during my stay here (6 months). they decided to let me pass.. i was 20 yo, so i had to get a permission from my parents to come to the Uk.. i know, argentinian laws are weird.
i came here for 6 months, then after that i came back to Argentina to apply for a marriage visa ( around £400) and again i did not work there and my boyfriend wanted me here asap... he paid for it.
i got married in april 2006 then applied for a leave to remain visa here, the visa was granted, 2 years later, in 2008 i was a uk resident... i am in a position to apply for a uk citizenship now but i guess it is too expensive at the mo for us.
my DD was born in 2007 and i tralleved to see my family when she was 4 months old, then again in january 2009. all i can say is that it is very hard to have family abroad, fares are so expensive.. and i guess i will never stop missing them. your boyfriend will feel exactly the same... i feel sad when i see that my DD has not much contact with my mum and my brothers, i mean we do talk on the phone every week and the internet but it is not the same, i will never be.
i save money every year to go back home, i will be going and the end of 2010, sometimes i feel it is unfair to my DH that i want to go there every year, but it is my money , i save all year around, and i think that is something you have to accept when you marry someone from a different country.
does your bf speaks english very well?.. i did not, i had to learn here, and that was really frustrating... i was home sick many times before my daughter was born. i guess she is the link between me and the uk.' dont get me wrong, i love the people here, the food, everything but i love going back to where i was born.

miss_missy

hi and welcome
first thing is that you really need to look at all the suggestion tixy made and redo you soa
now a big concern of mine is that your virgin credit card if your only paying £25 per month will not even be covering the interest, from my workings out your interest will prob be around £60 per month meaning that debt is going to get higher!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grass_Stained_Feet

Hey all

Missy - I agree with you here - I am just waiting for my Santander 0% balance transfer 0% fee card to come through - see how much credit they give me and hopefully transfer it all. The minimum payment is £25 or a %, mine goes to the % . I was paying out around £60/month, now as there is less on the card than there was I think its about £35.

Brit - I have looked into the fees and as it stands the financee and the marriage are both around £600. I do not know however, what they will change to in April. I am aware he cannot work on a fiancee visa which is why I said I need to be financially stable - to prove I can 'support' him. I am pretty sure he is not bothered about citizenship!
He was refused because 'doubt was left in immigration as to whether he was a genuine visitor' They spoke to me in Heathrow and from what I gathered it was because he was visiting me (GF) and had no permanent employment (just finished studying and was going to visit before getting job) They then went on to tell me how the UK is very attractive to people of 'less developed countries' and blah blah blah at which point I lost my nerve :A as his family is prob better off than mine, and tbh the UK really is not that amazing.

The thing about getting hitched in Mex - which I wouldnt have a prob with, is that you have to get it legalised, so it is valid in the UK, and I have yet to find decent info on that. It definately is cheaper, costing 200usd, but i don't want it to make getting the Spouse visa harder if the legality of the papers in the UK is hazey.

Morocha - Thank you for your imput, and yeah I guess I know deep down I can't have it all! I have done nothing to make him come over here for good, so to speak. Which is why we just want to visit eachother on visitor visas for now, so that he can visit the UK a couple of times before commiting, although he is convinced that he will love it here. He has also been away from family before as he studied in Canada. I would have no problem with him going home for visits, infact I'd quite like to join him and see everyone! The good thing about us is that we lived Mexico together, I was there for 9 months so I also have people there that I am fond of - although obviously not to the extent he does! But when I was there, I missed home and so will appriciate how he may feel. He speaks great English - learnt from Canada

Britwife

Found this and it still sounds cheaper and easier....

Marrying a Mexican National (In Mexico)

So far, the above requirements have assumed that a foreigner is marrying a foreigner in Mexico. If you plan to marry a Mexican national in Mexico, you'll need to fulfil some additional requirements:
In addition to all of the above documentation, you will need to obtain permission from Mexico's Interior Ministry - "Secretaria de Gobernacion - Oficina de Migracion" where, for a fee of around US$200, you'll need to acquire a permit to marry a Mexican national. The document is known as "Permiso para contraer matrimonio con un nacional".
The office issuing this permit must be the same office that has jurisdiction over the area where the marriage is to take place; i.e. you cannot get the permit from one state, e.g. Mexico City, and then go to e.g. Acapulco to get married.
This process can take from two days to two weeks, depending on the State and the people at the local government office: be prepared to be patient if you have to! Your wedding planner (see below), if you hire one, will be able to advise you about this in detail and take care of necessary paperwork on your behalf.

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I realise that the fiance visa and spouse visa fees are about the same but by getting getting the spouse visa, you won't have to pay for the FLR at £465. Your fiance visa is valid for 6 months. Right now, the fee for ILR is a whopping £820!!!! Which will not apply to you since it will be gone before he qualifies. I really have no idea what kind of fees will be involved but can imagine they will be high so at least going that route saves that step and the bonus of that is that you don't have to prove you can support him. The only thing that may help is that he isn't coming from America where they will be expected to pay more because it's considered a rich country.



I think in the long run both visas will ad up pound-wise.



I'm sorry that he got bounced. be prepared for them to ask a lot more questions this time around and make sure he gets a visitor visa ahead of time to make it easier. The bounce will be kept on file.


That's great that he speaks good English as well!!!! That will play a big part when they introduce the points system as they give points for speaking English!!!!


This change is supposed to make it simpler and easier to get citizenship and he may not be bothered now but may change his feelings in the future, especially if you have children or he needs to go home for a bit.



My best advice is too keep watch of the immigration website so you can stay informed of any changes that may affect you. This whole reform on immigration has caused a lot of headaches.



It isn't easy leaving home, I miss my mom everyday especially since having children. We do a lot of talking on the web cam but it's just not the same.


I wish you all the best!