Crazy Mother!!

niklepic

We booked our wedding on Wednesday evening and I have a feeling my mum is going to get on my nerves. We're paying for it all ourselves and she promised that she'd let us get on with it. I've already had four phone calls about venues that she wants us to look at.

She basically took over my sister's wedding last year who wanted a really quiet wedding with a buffet reception. She ended up having a full sit down meal for the extended family!! My mum is good at guilt trips but managed to stress everyone out lol.

I need to find a way to keep her busy behind scenes so i can get on with organising the wedding we want. My auntie is making our cake, oh's mum is doing the flowers and his uncle is doing the photos Any tips for dealing with a mother of the bride-zilla?? Bless her really i know she only wants to help but I'd quite like to be sane at my reception

gorgeouslatinrose

What about sending her on the task for a perfect mother of the bride outfit? Probably wont be long but at least give you a little break. If not possibly searching for the honeymoons, or making an album for the guests to sign at the wedding, possibly with photos included so she can go searching for photos for hours. If not, how about having something like a sweetie table, give her a small budget at let her go searching? Just some random ideas!

buzby_boy

You just need to be strong and honest with her and if she suggests something you dont like or want you need to say so, if she trys the guilt trip then nicely remind her its your day and its not what you want. be very clear with her what your plans are. this is what i have had to do and she has given up now :-)
good luck xx

Dizzie77

Why don't you ask your mum to make a list of all the things that you need to do before the wedding? (which would actually be helpful!!)
Maybe she could write it in a book - give each thing a separate section, and in there, you could write the details of the wedding stuff - venues, cars, dresses etc.

Your mum could be the "Keeper of the book" and responsible for updating it - but tell her that you and your OH want to do the actual negotiations.

Always_Harassed

Just had to check this thread incase my daughter posted this. You will never please everyone so please yourself. I would suggest a serious talk with her take her somewhere public for a coffee (no drink) so she can't make a scene and tell her you are determined to do things the way you want and you really want her to be a part of it but its your wedding. Ask if she can help you as suggested above. Can sympathise as I think one of the few things I chose at my wedding was my OH.

sal-ad_daze

Always_Harassed wrote: »

Just had to check this thread incase my daughter posted this. You will never please everyone so please yourself. I would suggest a serious talk with her take her somewhere public for a coffee (no drink) so she can't make a scene and tell her you are determined to do things the way you want and you really want her to be a part of it but its your wedding. Ask if she can help you as suggested above. Can sympathise as I think one of the few things I chose at my wedding was my OH.

I was just about to write something very similar:)
Let her do some research (it keeps me out of mischief;)) but make it clear that any decisions will be made my you and your partner. I know the time I spend researching helps my daughter as she hasn't the time to do it.
We have a photobucket account and I post pics of things I think she'll like there, we have sections for invites, flowers, cakes, wedding dresses, bm dresses, etc.
I know you have other people doing cake and flowers but she can still find you pics for inspiration.
I have enjoyed doing the research and I know my daughter is grateful for the time it's saved her.
I think it's worth a try but if it doesn't work then you will just have to be firm, always remember it's your day and it should be exactly as you want it.
Good luck and happy planning xx

pretzelnut

There no harm in her giving you options as long as she understands that YOU make the decisions and if she doesnt like the choices you make well tough its your wedding not hers but thanks for the advice.

If that fails tell her very little, i have found out that that is the only way for me, if i mention anything to my mum she just turns her nose up, or questions every thing to the neth degree and its very exhausting.

joolesw1972

We have two crazy mothers! My mum keeps her opinions to herself but 'fusses' like a mother hen & her mother is very opinionated! (& always right, but so am I!) what we've done is given them specific jobs my mum is currently finishing knitting the last of the flower girl boleros (spelling??) she's collecting our cheese the day before and bringing that over to the venue & she helped emboss some of the invites so feels involved, her mum has made & edged the table runners, stuck our name lables on the cheap pound shop bubbles and put ribbon round the necks and has made the fruit cake to go alongside the cheese in the cheese cake.
We were aware that they wanted to help & be involved which hopefuly they feel they have, when they made suggestions we've smiled & said we'll think about it or it depends what we decide/if we can afford it/if the venue let's us! Then gone away & decided what we wanted.

Sucker_for_sweeties

Mmmm .....I'm obviously terrible, but we just arranged it for our fortnight's holiday up north. Very cheap, just us an 2 pals, we conceived DD and there was no hassle after the event, coz it was all too late.

It'll work out, you can do it, you're already trying coping strategy's, so you're on the way there.;)

niklepic

Thanks everyone for your suggestions. Just been speaking to my sisters (my bridesmaids) and my mum's trying to get them to sell the dresses and buy new ones lol. I'm going to put her in charge of the invitations and packs for the kids. Also LOVE the idea of a sweetie table so will put her in charge of that. Will set her an "as cheap as possible" challenge!!

Horace

Be firm with her, how about asking her to make the wedding favours. actually asking her to make the planning book is a good idea, however, it is best that you keep it so you can see where you are at and then she doesn't get the opportunity to interfere.