Wedding Presents.....we'd rather have a honeymoon!

mshelsbels

Hi all,

After much discussion with my HTB over the weekend, we've decided instead of wedding presents we'd like to have a holiday/honeymoon instead. We've lived together for years, spent a fortune on our home, got most things we need, but have suffered massively with the credit crunch over the last 18 months. We've also lost a close friend, my FIL2b is poorly, my job is looking more and more insecure by the day and we could really both do with a break!
For those who dont know, we had to postpone our wedding from Sept last year due to a massive fire at our venue, which has cost us around £700 up to now which we really didnt budget for, (lost deposits for hotel/travel, new invites, new BM dress as she's now outgrown it, DS shoes now outgrown, out of date choccy favours etc etc).
Our wedding is going to be quite small (50)and intimate (2nd time round for us both, so register office followed by good food, wine and company in our fave restaurant). No evening do, but not scrimping on the meal or the champagne, so its exactly what we want!
Just wondered how to go about this honeymoon thing? HTB says that because our guests are our nearest and dearest, most of them will know we're skint and have been plagued by bad luck!! He has no qualms in asking them, but I feel a little more uncomfy. Isn't it a bit distasteful, but then we really dont need anything for the house?

Just wondered what your thoughts are?

(Sorry for waffling a bit!)

Hels x

floss2

We're doing the same as we can't afford to pay for the wedding AND a honeymoon at the same time, so probably going away in December/January after our September wedding. I'm currently waiting for DF to get home from site to agree the following to go with our invites:

As we have a home filled with everything we need, we do not have a gift list. However, if you insist, Thomas Cook or Debenhams vouchers would be very gratefully received.

Hope that helps!

Birdie85

Floss, I like it. Simple and straight to the point, no faffy poems and it's nicer to ask for vouchers than cash, at least people know what vouchers are going towards!

Alyssa_C_2

Floss you are a genius! Great wording, have been wondering how to put it ourselves. I keep hearing that some people think it's rude but my granny always said to take a gift at least to the equivilent of what it has cost your host to have you

stuart.pinfold

The problem with vouchers is that you'd need to have a break between the wedding and the holiday (probably at least a week if not longer to collect all the vouchers, decide where you're going, go to the shop, book the break and then wait until you fly out!) unless your guests are willing to give you your gift before the wedding.

If you can afford the initial outlay, a better idea might be to book the holiday yourselves so you know when and where you're going and, if you want, book your outward flight the day after your ceremony. Then, you can send a 'honeymoon list' to your guests in place of a gift list - with the items on your itinerary and a relevant cost.

So, for example, if your flights cost £200 you could break it down as such:
Bride's outward flight = £50
Groom's outward flight = £50
Bride's return flight = £50
Groom's return flight = £50

Then you could break the cost of the hotel down to a 'per-night' cost, and an excursion or two, etc etc.

Then someone who can't afford to give much could pay £10 for one night's hotel stay, while a large gift-giver (or a group of people together) could pay for both of your flights, etc.

Would take a bit of admin work and you might not make the cost of your holiday back if people prefer to give you traditional gifts instead - but it would mean you could jet off straight after you get married...

mshelsbels

stuart.pinfold wrote: »

Then, you can send a 'honeymoon list' to your guests in place of a gift list - with the items on your itinerary and a relevant cost.

So, for example, if your flights cost £200 you could break it down as such:
Bride's outward flight = £50
Groom's outward flight = £50
Bride's return flight = £50
Groom's return flight = £50

Then you could break the cost of the hotel down to a 'per-night' cost, and an excursion or two, etc etc.

I think this is a great idea...it would work for us as we wouldn't be able to go straight after the wedding anyhoo!
Thank you x

floss2

floss2 wrote: »

...we can't afford to pay for the wedding AND a honeymoon at the same time...

stuart.pinfold wrote: »

The problem with vouchers is that you'd need to have a break between the wedding and the holiday.....

We'll be booking our holiday anyway, just for 2 months later when we know we can pay for it by having saved up a bit longer without assuming that people will give us presents. As i said, if people love us enough to give us T/C vouchers, we will pay for it with them & hang onto our cash.