advice

Thesadhippy

Firstly, this site is a life saver. Was at a real low point with £38,000 of unsecured debt and to tell you all the truth, I felt like ending it all.
Reading about other people in the same position and the help and support you guy's give to everyone has changed my thought process into one of positive thinking. As one lady say's they can't get what you ain't got, its only money.

My question is this. I have met a lady I knew for 10 years and with my 20 year marriage ending early last year we struck up a friendship and are now a couple.
She has asked me to move in with her and out of my rented accommodation. she knows about my financial situation and is fully supportive of me. She has never been in debt and owns her own property which she has a mortgage on.

I have of course to pay maintenance for my children and also half of a secured loan me and the ex took out. She pay's the mortgage and thankfully we have never missed a payment on these two important bills. The old matrimonial is about 10k in negative equity and the children are 15 and 12.

What worries me is that the debt is mine, my new partner wants to split the household bills 50/50 which when we sat down and worked it out is near the same as I am paying for accommodation I get through my job in the NHS.

I see on your SOA's that the partners wage is included.!!!! obviously this is not her debts..... So why is her salary included. Surely, my debts are my debts. If this is the case it is better for me stay couped up in a one bedroom flat paying rent to the NHS.

Thoughts and advice welcome. Will they include her salary in the disposable income???:(

zcrat41

Hi Hippy,
I would say it depends on the couple. I'm with a boyfriend now and we slit things very fairly (all bills down the middle but is my house so I pay the mortgage to avoid any confusion there). However, if we ever got married I would like us to do a lot more "joint" income. Therefore your SoA is dependent on you kind of relationship.

I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your last question. Good luck coming up with a solution.

Tixy

It really does depend on the situation as to whether its right to do an individual SoA or a joint one. The reason we generally ask people to do one for the entire household is so that we can understand how much is being paid for gas, elec, groceries etc to see if there are savings/cutbacks to be made.

You are perfectly okay to keep your finances seperate and certainly in your situation any SoA/income & expenditure you send to creditors you would not want to show her income or expenses on it. You would simply show the amount you pay for bills and would show 'rent' if you contribute towards the mortgage.

One word of warning (which you may already know) if you have a problem with debts and she has a good credit rating you want to keep yourselves apart financially (by this I mean no joint financial products - mortgage, bank account etc) which could mean you will damage her ability to get credit.

Thesadhippy

Thanks Tixy. Yes am aware that I will keep my financial dealings very very well apart. She is thankfully the opposite of me, very frugal and old fashion when it comes to finance. As she works in the finacial sector she has a lot of knowledge of what can happen.

Her other suggestion was to pay her a lump sum rent which works out slightly cheaper than going 50/50, think she has done that to help me out.

But great advice and so quick. Will do a single SOA. Mind you with my income its going to be token payment at this rate.... until children grow up and I can sell family home!!! Want to pay my creditors so will see what gives.

A big thankyou again guy's. Its great to know people are not judgemental and are so willing to help an idiot out like me who to be honest has lived beyond his means for years!!!!!!!!!!!!! also trying me hand at self-employment left me playing catch up with my debts.

I can cope now with all the phone calls as you guy's have told me my rights even left an answer message to inform all financial institutions and DCA's that they must communicate in writing. All my friends know and are very supportive so no embarrasement if they hear the message.

Just one more question. Had to change my bank to my ex's as I am in debt to my bank and I know they would take the money. What is the name of the Co-op basic bank account????

Tixy

cashminder - heard good reports about it.

Most people on here have lived beyond their means or not made provision for a reduction in their means so no need to feel embarrassed amongst us lot.