I want to see my kids. Please help!!!!!!

lindseydaniel

I have 5 & 7 year old children with an ex partner. Every few months she refuses me access to my children for the most ridiculous of reasons. The most recent being 3 weeks ago I left my children with my wife when I popped into town for half hour to pick something up and I haven't been allowed to see my children since.

Can I get a court order to state that I can see them regularly and to be able to do reasonable things with them such as leave them with my wife for half hour or goto see them at a school play with my wife without her denying me access as and when she feels necessary.

How do I go about getting a court order. I am not entitled to legal aid and cannot afford to be represented by a solicitor.

Any help would be much appreciated.

Thanks.

speedster

been there, got the t shirt.

it's not as daunting as you'd think to go Litigant In Person (LIP). you'll need to fill out and file a c100 form.

http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/courtfinder/forms/C100_1108.pdf

there is a wealth of help on offer and i would recommend using a macenzie friend to assist you. they are often more efficient than a solicitor and only charge nominal amounts for their time and expenses. you can find a few at dadsuk. http://www.dads-uk.co.uk/forums2/index.php?act=idx

if you need help with any of it, just holler!

lindseydaniel

Thanks. How does it work? Can I say I would like to see them for xxxx days a week and to stay overnight xxxx times a month and to do whatever I want with them as long as its safe and reasonable.

speedster

an "average" is alternate weekends, plus a share of the school holidays.

if you are local to your children then you may be successfull asking for some kind of midweek contact too.

the main thing you need to do is get this to court to show your ex that she doesn't actually "own" the children. blocking contact because you left the children with your wife for half an hour is totally unnaceptable. does your ex have a partner? if so, i wouldn't mind betting he stops at home while she pops to the shops etc,etc.

she has absolutely no right to dictate what you do in your contact time with the children. this is where court works at it's best. unless their are safety or welfare issues regarding your wife then your ex will get flamed for this kind of actions.

trust me. you wont regret taking this course. it's the best thing i've ever done and my ex's attitude has taken a beating because of it.

also, i no longer pu$$y foot around the ex as any of her nonsense and she knows i'll drag her contact blocking !!!!! straight back to court.

lindseydaniel

When I get to see them it is usually 3/4 days a week. Usually after school and an afternoon on the weekend. Do you think this achievable. And maybe overnight 3 or 4 times a month.

I work weekends so alternate weekends is not an option.

shell_542

The average they normally work to if feasible with work etc is every other weekend from Fri(after school) or Sat to Sun or Mon(drop off at school) and a midweek overnight stay ... plus a share of school holidays.

If you were seeing your children for 3/4 days a week before she stopped contact, there's no reason really why you can't ask for it to start back at that in court. You could try Wikivorce. They have a forum specifically for contact and residency where people who have gone through it or work in law post regularly.

Blob

From what you say here you will have no probs in getting something like you want, remember the Court will take the side of what is best for the children and not what the ex thinks is best. Like many others here been there dine that, and she got wiped out by the Judge.

Make your application the cases unde the Childrens Act are heard on a Friday here it may be different where you are though. When you get your date make sure that you have a list of what you are going to ask for and take it with you, it helps!

Also remember you dont need to take a solicitor unless you have won the lotto or something, the Court will help you.

Strapped

Not to put a dampner on things, but please remember that even if you get a Contact Order (which you almost certainly will), if she decides not to play ball anyway, then you may find that the Courts will not actually enforce the Order. (BTDT). So a Contact Order is no guarantee that contact will actually improve. Only you know how your ex may react though. (For what it's worth, if there is genuinely no chance of resolving things between yourselves, with or without the help of a 3rd party, then yes a Contact Order is worth pursuing, as many people will comply with them, and even if she is one of the bloody-minded ones who won't, at least your kids will know you did everything you could to see them). Good luck.

speedster

Strapped wrote: »

Not to put a dampner on things, but please remember that even if you get a Contact Order (which you almost certainly will), if she decides not to play ball anyway, then you may find that the Courts will not actually enforce the Order. (BTDT). So a Contact Order is no guarantee that contact will actually improve. Only you know how your ex may react though. (For what it's worth, if there is genuinely no chance of resolving things between yourselves, with or without the help of a 3rd party, then yes a Contact Order is worth pursuing, as many people will comply with them, and even if she is one of the bloody-minded ones who won't, at least your kids will know you did everything you could to see them). Good luck.

true.

but the courts are slowly waking up to contact blockers and also PAS and are beginning to enforce orders more vigorously.

also, they now have the option of imposing community service. this is proving to be quite a deterrent by all accounts. :T

one judge recently told a contact blocker that "there will be no problems with childminders while you are on community service as i will order it be on the applicants contact times" :rotfl::rotfl:

Blonde_Bint

I also would agree with that. We eventually went to court for a contact order after she 'let us have contact as and when she saw fit'.

We got the contact order. Alls well with contact for a few weeks then it starts only instead of screaming and shouting we go to collect the child and she isnt in. anyone familiar with these classics:

"oops so sorry she completely forgot."

"oops she's running late and will be about an hour ish, she usually didnt turn up at all."

"aw did I not tell you he's at a party today, couldve swore I told you."

Any one can be absent minded VIRTUALLY ALL THE TIME cant they:D and we lived an hours drive away hour and a half if theres traffic, she knew what she was doing.

So getting the contact order wont guarantee that contact is stable and predictable, made it worse for us in the beginning.

shell_542

But ... it's better than no order at all. At least you have something to fall back on and the hope the court MIGHT do something about it. There have been a few cases of the courts awarding custody of a child to the NRP because the PWC has been withholding contact.

If there's no court order, there's nothing you can do about it. The PWC holds all the cards.