Two years at university at home

property.advert

Get out now and sod the debt. University is not just about exams but about growing up, managing life and yes, letting your hair down.

If you came up for interview in front of me for a job and when I probed your life at university you said you'd lived at home with mama and said that it was because you were scared of a bit of student loan debt and you spent hours on buses instead of the pub, I wouldn't think you a very rounded person and somewhat of a loner and introvert. Basically, you wouldn't get invited back for a 2nd interview.

School does not go on forever, in a year you will face employers and they will ask these sorts of questions. Give yourself a break and have a great year, without hours on buses !

dib-dab

It is a hard one as my debt problems started at university but I completely agree with property.advert. I had a great time at uni. I could have lived with my parents and would have had to commute from Sheffield to Leeds - easily do-able. But it never crossed my mind. For me uni is not just about the degree, it is about the whole experience and is a valuable opportunity to grow up and learn independence. I made loads of great friends at uni and really had a fantastic time. A friend of mine lived at home and did not have such a good experience. Don't get me wrong - she had friends too but she always had to rush for a train, couldn't go out with us for a spur of the moment dinner at the pub as her Mum had dinner planned etc And she rarely got invited to go out as usually couldn't come. She did sometimes stay over at mine but she felt bad doing it too often so would only stay occasionally. Yeah she was in a great financial position but I genuinely would rather be in a little bit of debt than miss out on the full uni experience. I don't mean to sound crude but what if you met someone on a night out? You can't take them home.

And saying that you would have to put a full case to your parents before they would agree to you moving out - you are old enough to make your own mistakes now. Very commendable that they are so sensible about money as are you but you can stand on your own two feet and you shouldn't have to plead for their agreement with this - it is such an important part of growing up and becoming independent.

One thing is that you will probably spend more on socialising if you are living with friends so you would need to consider this cost too.

At uni I was only entitled to the minimum loan due to my parents' salaries. This did annoy me as I insisted on being completely independent from them and funded everything myself yet my loan still depended on my parents' income. And got a lot less money than one friend, for example, whose parents were on low salaries but still gave her £100 per week!! So where she got maximum student loan and used it for exotic holidays I worked 25 hours per week and still had to get into debt. My parents would have given me money if I had asked for it so maybe more fool me but I really wanted to sort myself out.

It is a personal decision to you as you sound extremely reluctant to get into any debt - which is very good - but I do honestly think you are really missing out on possibly the best years of your life.

If your Mum and Dad currently pay for everything at home then could they afford to give you a small allowance? I know you said they are on low income so maybe not but they must be spending something on you so could they give you £10 per week?

Good luck with your decision - I know what I would do but then look what huge debt I am in so maybe I am not the best to be giving advice

Lottebear

I would move out, partly becuase I think it is important to experience this part of uni life and secondly for the fianal year it will be easier to access the Libary and Uni.

bouncydog1

We are definately encouraging our daughter to live away at Uni. We live overseas so she has no choice if she wants to go! We really want her to have the opportunity to do this, as neither my husband nor I went to Uni, and we firmly believe it teaches excellent life skills.

You have to break away from your parents at some point, and if your Uni is within commuting distance then you will still be able to pop home to see them - why don't you try it for a term and see how you get on - if it's not for you at least you gave it a go!

Jmoo

Thank you for your responses, I didn’t expect so many!

In response to what I have said I guess the outlook I give in my first post is really based upon the first two years. I am not much of a party animal and the house I have been offered is with three female friends – one more interested in visiting her boyfriend and the other two aren’t heavy party animals. So I don’t think I would be too distracted. I am also aware the third year will be more work. The benefit of this could be that as I spend two or three hours a day travelling and waiting for buses I won’t have to worry about that much.

I would probably end up continuing my job at the weekend for a few hours to tie me over.

I don’t believe I will get a bigger grant regardless of where I live – I already receive the full £2,906. I know that a loan would be bigger if I lived away. I am aware it should really go towards the cost of living but I had originally agreed with parents I would go to university if I could avoid the debt. I guess they have an old-fashioned view to money and being working class it was the one reason they were against me going to university in the first place. I think they have the belief that if my debt grew that they would be responsible to bail me out. They have the image that as they earn just under £20,000 a year those living away from home are likely to get hand out from better-off parents and so their contribution was to look after me at home. If only I had a rich elderly relative with a will!

At present I pay about £10 a day for travel – so about £50 a week. There is the occasional expensive taxi bill when I go out once a month and need to return home late at night. It doesn’t happen often as you can imagine and I try to kip in someone’s lounge to avoid it. £75 a week for rent wouldn’t include most bills so that would be another headache.

If I can’t convince my parents I’ll cope financially they are going to be very unsupportive if I decide to go ahead with it.

So why do I want to do it? Firstly, I suffer from ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and the early mornings getting up at 6am for 9am lectures with travel takes its toll somewhat. The last bus home (if I’m there till late) is 5.30pm and I arrive home at 7pm. That sort of thing stresses me as I find every minute counts when studying especially with deadlines approaching. I would like to think a five minute walk from campus would save all of this unnecessary time. I also seem to suffer a bit of depression from only seeing friends a limited amount of time, living in a town predominantly for the elderly with no young people and I took a relationship break-up badly last year and it has left me with a lot on my mind and I would like to be truly happy to try and erase those thoughts. Whether this would be the answer I don’t know! I also feel I have made some good friends I would like to see more of but due to working constraints we don’t see enough of and as it’s the last year I do want to go that extra mile to finish on a high. I guess as well as this I lack common sense and I would like the chance to test myself living away to try and cope independently. I know I mentioned the social side in my first post but I would say by “social” I meant seeing friends and being around them rather than spending nights conversing on Facebook with them as opposed to necessarily going to parties every night.

I don’t really know what the solution will be. I am looking around my room looking at things I could sell to raise some money. I’m working out calculations to see how much work I would have to do over the summer to assist it. I unfortunately only have a month to decide before my friends need to look for someone else to sign the agreement.

Both options have their positives and negatives. I just wish for the low earning families there was more the government could do to provide for both tuition fees and the cost of living. You probably think I’m quite a fool for fearing loans so much when most students go through that process…!

Ames

Wow, you've done amazingly well so far with ME (I have it too). Do you get DLA? If so you'll be eligible for housing benefit and possibly income support, which means you'll be saving money by living away.

I can understand the problem with your parents, my family are the same.

dib-dab

Jmoo wrote: »

You probably think I’m quite a fool for fearing loans so much when most students go through that process…!

Despite what I said in my previous post and thinking that you would be better moving out I definitely don't think you are a fool for fearing loans - that is a great attitude. Most of our financial problems are due to loans being such an easy 'solution' where in many cases they are just a slippery slope.
I think your attitude and your parents attitude towards debt is fantastic. I just think that you university experience will suffer for it. I guess you have to weigh up the pros and cons - write them in side by side lists if it helps.
And whatever happens - do not get too comfortable with debt. Reading posts on here should be enough to make you realise how easy and quick it is to get into a mess once debt becomes an accepted part of your life so even if you do decide do get into a little bit of debt for this opportunity then make sure you still keep the attitude you have now so that you can pay it off as quickly as possible and never rely on it again.

bargainbetty

OK, you have started to think about moving out because this offer came up. Perhaps you could explore some of the possibilities before making a decision? Looka t other rentals, that may be more affordable, apply for a place in halls if your uni has them?

The practical aspects of living closer to the Uni are undeniable, and for the third year access to the Library and the extra time will be very useful. Just remember, you are not limited to sharing with these ladies - see what else is out there, that might result in less debt.

I also echo the point that not all debt is bad - this is an investment in your future, and considering you have managed to pay for everything so far, you are doing amazingly well.

Good luck x

DarkConvict

My GFs mom has ME but doesn't get DLA (now called ESA) because you have to be unable actually complete certain tasks without assistance.

Whilst the decision is yours. From a student who has lived at home (10-30min journey to uni based on tariff) For your final year you will need to be there. So live as close as possible. But living with women, thats won't i cant help with :P

Butti

Jmoo

I travel 50 miles a day to work. I have a car and don't have ME and it tires me out.

Use the advice above. Look at Student loans - see if you can work the equations with just one debt, a student loan and some work at your job. As Bargain Betty says look at all your options.

If you make the move to live independently I think it will be a very important message from you to you and will really boost your confidence. It will also change your relationship with your parents which may not be a bad thing.

Consider all options and remember your parents might not approve and you may have to come to terms with that BUT it is your life. Do what is right for you, not for them!

B