taking responsibility

williamsdirect

Hi - hope i'm doing this right - i have finally knuckled down and spent the past couple of evenings sorting out finances. We are just starting to feel the pinch and have had our heads in the sand for a while but a shock on monday night that made me feel sick - being declined debit payment in asda - only to discover at the cash point outside that we were -995.00 on our account. I drove home having left my little pile of shopping at the counter, angry and upset. By the time i got home my determination had set in and i sat down told my husband what had happened and that we really had to get sorted out fast. So since then he has taken on an xtra job for someone for the nxt 3/4months and i have halved our life cover, more than halved our home build/cont insurance, halved our car insurance and am about to save about 320 on dual fuel - in all i will have saved about 1,200 a year. This has made me feel in control - we have got some unsecured debt -credit cards/bank loan and i am currently in contact with a financial adviser to sort our mortgage out and an expensive secured loan. we are giong to have to be really strict and sensible for a good while now - but my brain has been working overtime today and i am now looking into the logistics of us selling the house and getting my elderly mum who lives on her own, to sell hers and moving in together - this would be quite complicated and everyone would have to agree - of course - but i am going to get all the facts and figures sorted out first and then present it as an alternative and see if its going to be cost effective. wish me luck and any suggestions would be much appreciated.:)

planning_ahead_2

Hi and welcome

If you can post a SOA then you will get lots of advice from seasoned DFWers.

You will find amazing guidance and support on this forum and everyone is, or has been, in a similar situation regarding debt so no-one will look down on you.

dehaani

planning_ahead wrote: »

no-one will look down on you.

Yeah, if you believe that, you'll believe anything.

Anyway, best of luck to you.

**Upsy_Daisy**

dehaani wrote: »

Yeah, if you believe that, you'll believe anything.

Anyway, best of luck to you.

Only the trolls and they are a lower form of life so don't count

It seems to me you are going too fast - do your SOA before you make any major decisions
Some of the stuff you are proposing can have a serious impact on your relationship.
What if Mum doesn't want to move in with you?

Are you under insured now?

Don't panic

pepe2008

planning_ahead wrote: »

Hi and welcome

... so no-one will look down on you.

The only ones who look down on you are those that have not experienced the misery of debt.

Its not always caused by reckless overspending, s**t happens, you know?

Choo_Choo_4

I think Upsy Daisy's right - slow down a little.
It's going to be drastic enough making cut backs and possibly selling your home but then for your family and your mum to all live under the same route might cause more harm than good, I don't know ... that's a personal thing so only you'll be able to answer that ...

If you're saying that you have an expensive secured loan on the property then this is probably the crippling factor so if you're serious about selling your property then I'm sure you'd be able to find rented accommodation then for a lot less than the mortgage (if this is what you want) without having to also uproot your mother ...

Prob is best to do up an SOA and have a look at that to see where the problem lies .. with homeowners it usually if the amount of househol income that goes off the mortgage/secured loan.

No-one should look down on you here!
It's not always easy to keep a family running smoothly .. getting into debt isn't something that people plan - life changes all too quickly at times and before we know it the savings are gone, overdraft is building by the day and red letters are starting to come more often ... but it's not the end of the world. There's always a solution - just don't go with the first one, think about it long and hard and decide what's best for you and your family!!

kingfisherblue

pepe2008 wrote: »

The only ones who look down on you are those that have not experienced the misery of debt.

Its not always caused by reckless overspending, s**t happens, you know?

I have only ever had small amounts of debt, but I would never look down on anybody who found themselves in this situation. I've had money worries and that is bad enough for me, as it means I can't sleep, snap at the kids, etc.

Rather than looking down on people who have debt, I have the utmost respect for those who are working to pay off their debts. I also respect those who help and advise others. Some of the stories that I have read on here are amazing - there are some very inspirational posters out there.

Reading these forums has made me more aware of my own need to take more responsibility in understanding money - I'm on benefits, so I'm not exactly rich :rotfl: - but by following the advice on here, I have made some small differences to my own life.

To the OP, ignore anybody who does look down on you - there won't be many, but if there is anybody at all, they're not worth bothering about.

Good luck in your DFW journey x

Tixy

Hi Williams and welcome

I can imagine how awful you felt not being able to buy your shopping and having to leave it behind. However in the long run hopefully has helped you start to sort out your issues.

Sounds like you have done well switching suppliers and bits & bobs already so well done with that.

A statement of affairs would be a next step to see if you are able to manage your finances in your current house now that you are a bit more aware of them - this is the link - http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html and if you post on here people will have more suggestions for money saving for you.

Good luck

velrist

Oh you poor thing, it must have been awful having to leave your shopping. Here's hoping you can make something positive out of that with a new start.

You've done brilliantly in reviewing your bills and switching suppliers but please post up a statement of affairs and see if people can help before you do anything drastic like selling your house.

Well done in posting and good luck!