wedding in 3 weeks..........is it possible to change the time.

Saint_Chris

Daughter is getting married 3 weeks today, at 12.00pm

All is sorted, BUT

and there is always a but, s-i-l-2-b has a son and his access rights are to pict him up on a saturday at 12.30pm ( you know what's coming right)

the order is a court order, and the ex-girlfriend knows the wedding is going on, well we think she does, as communication isn't good between the parties. Nearly everything we do has to go through court, and as were all working we have to pay our costs, which last time wre £1,800 as she doesn't work she gets legal aid, so she thinks it is fun going to court.

Over christmas we helped her out loads, we had him on nights when we shouldn't have had him, including new years eve, all on the understanding that we can pick him up on the friday night before the wedding.

~Well she has changed her mind now, and we can only pick him up at our requested time, 12.30pm:mad:

We can't appeal to her better nature as she doesn't have one, and she would probably say yeah pick him up, and then when we go on the friday or earlier saturday she wouldn't be there, that is what she is like

or do we pay another £2,000 out and go back to court, where the judge will go mad at her, put it makes no sense as we still have to pay

or do we change the time to 1.00pm, this would mean contacting people who are coming to the wedding, it is only a small do afterwards and it is just at a local restaurant, so they shouldn't mind the change of the meal, the photographer well we have him booked for the day, priest only has the one wedding that day, my mum knows the organist and choir so that shouldn't be a problem.

what do you think thanks...............................

Minxy_Bella

This is a tricky one but I'd be tempted to put the wedding back to 1pm.

The ex is going to be awkward about her son going to her ex's wedding for obvious reasons and if it's a small do, then it shouldn't take too long to rearrange. Or you get the guests to meet up at the arranged time and they can have a drink in a pub or the local restaurant for an hour??

But before that, I would have one last go at getting her to change her mind - maybe with a 'sweetener' prezzie or something to butter her up a bit? Going back to court for an event happening in three weeks is the last thing that I would do - it's only going to annoy her and things need to be kept as civil as possible.

(I speak from experience here!)

frannyann

I am not telling my ex about our wedding cos this is the sort of stunt he would pull too! I would look at moving the wedding to 1.30pm (just for a bit of leeway, as I can imagine my ex would be 'held up in traffic' for a half an hour just to be an !!!!!) One off variation to court order would be last resort but should not cost lots, you don't need a solicitor to do it. If needed, go to one of boards on here with lawyers lurking and one propably could done you a sample letter to the court.

bigmomma051204

Hmm i think i would probably attempt to try and put wedding back for just that hour to 1:30 - then you have the time to pick little one up and then get him changed etc?? I am sure vicar won't mind if they don't have another wedding and the restaurant are probably making a fair bit from the wedding party so shouldnt mind ....i think most important thing is to decide upon that and then ring around this weekend or Monday so that people have as much motice as possible. Otherwise, the restaurant might book another party in, vicar might have arranged to go visit eldery parishoners etc etc.....it just looks better if you give notice to everyone. The only person i would NOT give notice to is the Ex - let her still think its at 12:30 and don't mention it to her again...don't let her know that you changed the WHOLE wedding schedule around to please her!! Just let her think she has been clever and you can all enjoy the wedding (and feel a bit smug that she HASN'T ruined the day!!!)

pretzelnut

My mum had a similar problem last year with timings.

She was due to get married at 12.30 but had to put it back to 1pm. She altered everything with the registrar and everyone else just out of politeness.

Dont offer her any sweeteners - you will just be playing into her hands and opening up a massive can of worms, as she could expect it everytime.

By all means as her again, if she says no say, thats ok he'll be there eventually, She may drag her feet in the day and make him even later. ie she might not even have him ready till 12.50, then what do you do.
With regards to guests she didnt tell them - she just played the whole bride running late card, no one minded in fact they expected it.

I doubt going to court would do you much good, and TBH it wold be cheaper to alter the times with everyone involded than forking out £2k to some solicitor.

I agree with the above poster, change the time so the child can be there, but dont tell the mother. Not that it has anything to do with her anyway.

My advice change the wedding to 1.30, to give yourdelf enough time in case she decides to be a cow on the day.

shellylovesshopping

I would personally change the time of the wedding. If she is bitter and likely to cause issues, you may turn up to pick up the little one to find he's not ready, she's out etc, etc. That way, you will have an hour before the ceremony to get things sorted.

shellsuit

Someone needs to get on the phone this morning to the church/reg office and the venue, see what they both say.

I hope they can change the time for them, fingers crossed!