A Secret???

Scottish-Diva

I was wondering if other people feel the same way I do?

I have yet to tell anyone other than my OH about my debts
I couldnt face telling friends and or family out of shame, you would think it's some kind of dirty secret, but it is impossible to tell them.
Basically I dont want them to think I have been foolish, or judge me, but it seems to me as though so many people carry around the burden of their debts, too ashamed to speak about them

I think this site is wonderful in allowing people to discuss and post about their debts, it's much easier to type away than to speak.

I feel as though I want to tell my mum/dad/brother/friends about our debts, but OH says no...

Anybody else feel the same?
Maybe to share with others would be like 'cheap' therapy:rotfl:
Or may be cause for my folks to spit out their tea and vow to disown me.....
^^^
Im 'hopefully' joking about my mum and dad...........

jessicamb

I know what you mean.

Personally I dont go on about being broke to the oldies as I dont want them to worry (which they would) or offer to give me money (which they cant afford).

lynzpower

Well everyone I know knows about my debts :rotfl:

But there are loads of people here who have kept it a secret, then once they have fessed up things are usually WAAAAY better :beer: than they expected

How come your BF is so against telling people ?

Scottish-Diva

^^^
I know, sometimes I want to tell them, that way they could understand why Im not going out or spending as much money as normal.
I do think my mum might have guessed, but I would hate they to be disappointed....I sound about 12 here:o

markmcg

listen i would not worry to much your not alone out there but why worry about what others think just be you!

Scottish-Diva

My OH is ashamed, he wants to deal with the debt first before anything else, which is good, but can live without telling anyone.
I feel the need to tell.

Last weekend we couldnt afford to go out with my folks for dinner, my mum was worried and asked us why for 2 days
It's just getting messy making up excuses, plus excuses at work.....:rolleyes:

markmcg

well if your oh is ashamed then thats his problem tell him to grow up and face reality i was in a lot of debt a few years ago so i know how you feel but you will get there in the end:rotfl:

Scottish-Diva

^^^^
Straight to the point:beer:
I have given myself a sore head with all this worrying and making excuses this week, just going round in circles this week

markmcg

your a good old or young scottish lass lol so iam sure you will be brave like the rest of us scots and get there!

Sea78

My OH was very against telling people - I think he felt ashamed too but now he is ok about it. We've been talking much more about it and making joint financial decisions (I had to make this happen!). I think this helped. He also now sees the benefit of becoming df and staying that way (more money to go on hols etc.)

Good luck with it. Perhaps you could tell a few people that you can discuss it with that OH won't mind?

Mrs_Sparkle

My family know I've got credit cards but they would be horrified at the amount I owe. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong by keeping it a secret- I am dealing with it well and it's got nothing to do with other people. I'm glad I've got you lot to talk to though *group hug*